Bad As I Wanna Be

Driving to the coast to help (chat with) my brother Franc while he's renovating a house, I had a small mishap. I fell asleep driving and ran off the road. No harm done, but I decided to take a nap so it wouldn't happen again. I pulled into a church parking lot somewhere on Hwy 70 East.

When I woke up an hour later, I discovered I'd left my lights on and my battery was dead and my car was boxed in and the church service had started. Long story I won't bore you with, but when help arrived 3.5 hours!!! later, I was deep into the autobiography of iconoclastic basketball star Dennis Rodman, Bad As I Wanna Be.

I hadn't planned to read this book; I'd picked it up at a thrift shop for a quarter because a friend of mine used to think the guy was cool. It was the only book I had in the car. I didn't know much about Rodman except for his dating Madonna and dyeing his hair multi-colored.

Well, I found him inspiring. He came to the NBA, not from being an ACC star as so many do. At twenty he was pushing a broom on the night shift at the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport.

When he took up basketball at that age, he soared. When he hit huge success, he felt like a fraud and a puppet. He was on the point of shooting himself one spring night in 1993 when he decided that he would instead stay alive, stay in the NBA, and stop trying to hide who he was.

And he did. And the crowds loved him big time. And even if I don't admire all of his choices, I admire the one he made that April night.

More on this tomorrow...



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So Glad I Did

So-glad-I-did is a category of activities that I don't really want to plan and, when the time comes, I don't really want to stir myself to do, and then I get there and have a wonderful time and I'm so glad...

This morning was one of those: a lakeshore cleanup. I live near Jordan Lake, a large many-armed body of water in central NC. I regularly paddle my little inflatable kayak there in warm weather, and gaze fondly upon these waters from the bridge several times a week.

So, when I saw the notice asking for volunteers to pick up trash along the wooded shore today, it seemed a natural for me to take part. Yesterday I wasn't in the mood. (And had a better offer.)

But sticking with the original plan, I got out there in my rubber boots and gloves and picked up thousands of tiny bits of styrofoam and slivers of plastic, as well as bottles, a bike tire, fishing lures, lots of cigar filters, and one syringe, which I first took for a thermometer. There were about 50 of us toting Hefty bags and a motorboat taking the filled bags back to a landing.

The amassed trash after 4.5 hours of gathering would have filled a small barge.

And now at midday, after such a productive and invigorating morning, I feel great.

What's always amazing is that that good feeling is such a surprise, because I'm coauthor of a book on this subject: The Healing Power of Doing Good, written with Allan Luks. The whole point of the book is that doing a good turn helps the health and well-being of the doer.

You'd think I'd remember.

Having the mental category of so-glad-I-did helps me override the impulse to stay in my usual routine. And that impulse is unnervingly strong.

The morning did have its humbling aspect, though. When I got back to the central trash-bag location, I discovered that somewhere out there in the woods, I'd lost my sunglasses. Left them for someone on the next trash detail to pick up and high-mindedly think: how could anybody toss litter so cavalierly?

Still, I'm glad I got out there.




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On Risk

From actor, dancer, real estate businesswoman, inventor, and original Catwoman Julie Newmar in Esquire:

"You can't fail. The further you fall, the greater the opportunity for growth and challenge."




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Clutter and Creativity

I heard recently that Clutterers Anonymous is the fastest growing 12-step program in the U.S. Don't know if that's correct, but I can easily believe it.

In recent weeks, I've been on a simplifying and order-bringing binge and it leaves me lighter in spirit, in fact exuberant.

Recent research indicates that people who get rid of their junk also lose weight and have less depression.

On the other hand, there's an image of the creative space as one that's full of odds and ends that the creator can join in surprising ways and combinations to come up with something new.

I'm now convinced that it's possible to have both order and interesting odds and ends. In fact, the interesting ones stand out better when the collection of empty boxes is gone. Or the most interesting box stands out better when the drab ones are gone. And so on.

I'm delighting in this process of dejunking and neatening and that pleasure is one reason for my exuberance. I've always thought of cleaning up as something I should do, because things had gotten so bad--or something I shouldn't do, because I should really be doing something more directly productive.

It finally strikes me that getting ready and cleaning up are part of the process of production. And it feels as if decluttering is something I get to do, not a chore I have to do.




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Overbooking

Freelancers have to operate like airlines, overbooking flights a little, in order to come close to full occupancy. Taking assignments is like that. I've often accepted a little (or a lot) more work than is comfortable because things do get delayed and/or fall through.

This is just one aspect of the writing business that keeps us at the edge of our chairs.

In the last 48 hours I've had one project delayed for a couple of months and one finishing faster than I'd expected. This leaves me with one large-ish job that I'd thought twice about taking. Glad I took it.

More often than not, though, the jobs stick and the workload is heavier than I expected. It has always been do-able. I think there's a sort of internal freelancer's biological clock that knows what would be simply impossible.


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Facing Technology With A Stout Heart

In the last two weeks, my printer and phone died, and I had just started the arduous switch to mainly using a new email address and system.

Now, I'm not a complete tech dolt. But neither am I a techie. And taking on all these new systems and gizmos to click and plug and import, etc. is no small thing. It's a bit like walking a plank between two ships on open ocean. The fact that my identity hasn't plunged into the turbulent sea below is already a small miracle.

My progress so far gives me confidence in the way that Outward Bound is supposed to do: if I can sleep in a hammock in a jungle tree, then I can do anything. If I can venture into a different inbox, I can certainly solve any book problem. This really feels far riskier; we are after all talking about my address book.

So I am resolved: Whenever it's necessary to spend what feels like miserably wasted time on tech details, it helps to keep in mind: the high-wire aspects of it are character-building.

(If you have gadget enthusiasm, this post does not apply to you.)







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Monday Kick Start?

I just ran across a nice list of "creativity kick starts" . If you need something to get you going on a Monday or whenever, have a look.

One interesting thought found there: Adopt a Genius. Essentially choose a tremendously successful role model and study how that person solved the problems you're working on.

Now, that's a little slower than a kick, but could certainly draw me into a new way of thinking.



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When You're Writing and Get Stuck

Write down on another sheet of paper or in a different document what seems to be the problem. This can help in two ways. You’re acknowledging the difficulty and physically putting it aside. And/or, the “problem” can take you to the very heart of what you’re writing.

(This suggestion is an excerpt from a guest post I wrote today for Mystic Lit Blog. Do go visit there for the fuller explanation, and to read the other novelists posting at that fine site.)




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Orwell on Fear and Writing

"Good novels are written by people who are not frightened."

That's from George Orwell, author of some fairly daring novels: 1984 and Animal Farm.

And I know he's right. I had a lot of struggle with my previous novel Sister India, until I pretty much gave up on seeing it published in my lifetime and started revising it to be the way I'd want to leave it when I'm gone. (I did make sure that included a pretty fast-paced plot.) When I finished that revision, my agent sold it in 2.5 weeks.

I think that in letting go (mostly) of how the book would be received, I also let go of fear and the concommitant strain on the writing. Not so easy for me to do until it seems that there are no other options. I may need to learn how to switch into that attitude from the beginning.



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Feedback On My Novel

Here's what I just heard from an editor about my novel-in-progress, Cobalt Blue:

"Is Cobalt Blue a) primarily an erotic novel, b) a novel of spiritual awakening (with sex a strong, integral part of spirit), or c) quality women’s fiction that pushes some boundaries, but is essentially mainstream?

From acquisition to point-of-sale, publishing demands that one clear message be sent about a book. This is unfair and maddening to authors, but the reality we’re all stuck with."

To fit into any of those categories, I'd have to shift the weight of elements of this novel. Whatever I decide to do with the feedback, I do like to know what I'm dealing with. Because then I can decide on my strategy: how to meet market requirements without undoing my intentions in the book.

I've been through this before, and have always found that in the process of revision, the solutions are unexpected and the book has become better at accomplishing my original intentions.




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Keeping the Creative Muscles Toned

From the blog of guitarist and composer Dan Cosley:

"It's important to sight-read some music everyday. We can too easily get bogged down in the minutiae of the works we are preparing for performance. But sight-reading opens a window to a different kind of experience, reinforcing basic musicianship skills which can atrophy if left unattended. Most guitarists are terrible readers but can improve greatly with a daily dose of sight-reading. It's also a great way to explore the vast repertoire which is playable on the guitar. Bach's solo violin works are often on my music stand for this purpose."

What's the equivalent of this practice for your art?


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Seeking Applicants...

The job notice I saw is for someone who is a "JavaScript Wizard." Not me. But this part of the position's description is a noble ideal for any of us:

"• Pride in your work and a passion for breaking new ground.

• Deep knowledge of existing solutions in your domain, the willingness to utilize the ones that are appropriate, and the courage to create new solutions where the old ones won’t do.

• Attention to detail, ability to collaborate and communicate clearly, and the willingness to offer alternative opinions.

• Commitment to delivering work as promised, and ability to perform against demanding deadlines.

• Extra credit: Passion...."




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Late-Night Heroics

I emailed off materials for a grant application last night at 1:14 a.m.--then started the 40 minute drive from my office home. I'd started the last bout of working on this project at almost 3 in the afternoon and then just kept going. Tense and tired and delighted by the time I was done.

Very exciting evening. I love the faux heroics of a rush like that.

Some years back, Prince Charles and some folks here in the city of Raleigh started an altruistic project--Operation Raleigh-- involving a sailing ship with a global do-good itinerary. He said that it gave people the chance for peacetime heroism, adventure with a purpose.

A very useful idea (and it's still going). Because we all seem to have some need for our own style of derring-do. Best that it be channeled into a useful purpose, so we're not going around starting wars or jumping out of planes for no good reason.



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Creative Courage Under the Weather

Hard to be bold
When one has a cold.



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A Huge Goal

Working (playing) in my garden this afternoon, I had this thought: what if I decided to get into my best possible condition by the time I turn 60 next January 8?
Physically, mentally, and most important, in appearance. This would involve more vegetables, more exercise, no caffeine, and two or three other tricky things. I don't know. I continue to ponder. Could be it would just be a narcissistic waste of time. On the other hand, I might live longer. And other nice rewards. If I do it, I'll be gathering a group of like-goaled people. Don't want to attempt this one alone.


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Self-Exploration

From environmentalist John Muir:

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”

This quote is from a post on Courage to Create blog encouraging us to spend more time outdoors.

Out of context, I find another meaning in it as well. Muir's thought about going out or going in reminds me that I learn more about myself by going out among people than I do in solitary contemplation.

I do find meditation tremendously valuable, for calm, for allowing ideas to emerge, and as a religious practice.

However, to learn more about myself, there's nothing like a conversation with a client, clerk, husband or friend, about what I can or can't do for them, and what I want or don't want from them, to show me who I am.

Sometimes this "going out" takes more gumption than it might seem. I think that's true for a lot of us.



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"Inspiring Innovation"

The library nearest my house has a magazine swap pile. Bring your old magazines, if you want to. Take anything you like, whether you've brought any or not. What a treasure! I love digging through that pile, and I find some delightful items.

Most recent great discovery: a 2002 Harvard Business Review full of lots of good advice for artists.

It was written for business people to help make their companies more creative. That fits us very well, I think.

The issue pulls together short articles by some business innovators. The titles alone create a nice little creativity coda:

Make It The Norm--from a fellow at Procter & Gamble, who says creativity is "the everyday task of making nonobvious connections"

Put Aside Ego--try looking through someone else's eyes

Mix People Up--for the solo artists, we're the people in question, who need to try doing things differently

Don't Fear Failure--it's a necessary and useful part of the process

Abandon the Crowd--do your own thing

Fight Negativity--it takes strong conviction to stay on your own road

Ask "What If?"

Merge Patience and Passion

Experiment Like Crazy

Don't Innovate, Solve Problems.


The list is from a six year-old copy of a magazine, but the ideas are still pretty good.






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The Long-Running Writing Group

On Thursday afternoons, I meet with my writing group, led by novelist Laurel Goldman. I've been in this group a few months shy of 25 years. As you might imagine, the conversation has strayed from writing a time or two. Also, we have tea afterwards at the Whole Foods grocery across the street from Laurel's office.

In a writing group, there's a higher value placed on total honesty than in other relationships. I want to know any possible negative a reader could come up with about what I've written, so that I can decide how I want to deal with it.

For one of the group to have a critical thought and hold it back would be malpractice.

In marriages and other relationships, total revelation of every negative thought is not required or even desirable, at least by me.

Yet I find that having a group of friends/colleagues with an agreement for full response--positives and negatives--is extremely interesting. And it's excellent practice in being diplomatic and unsparingly direct at the same time. We don't necessarily practice this skill in our commentaries on each other's personal lives, but the habit does persist and we're pretty damn forthcoming in all our talks.

It's one of the great things in my life, this ongoing conversation. I wonder if at the end of my life, I'll look back and think that the group was the point as much as the books were.


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Brainstorming: A Brilliant Energy Source

I've just come from an hour of batting ideas around at the N.C. Arts Council.

Brainstorming, as you no doubt know, is a group experience of coming up with ideas, good and bad, wild and tame, without any immediate judgment on whether they're feasible or appropriate or exactly right. All those questions are saved for later. In the brainstorming moment, no ideas are rejected, all are welcome, and people build on each other's suggestions.

Not only did we produce some good usable ideas and a rough plan of action, we got me very charged up with enthusiasm for my work now that I'm back at my desk.

The hour enlarged my sense of possibilities, which is always a good idea.


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Adrenaline Junkie?

Busy, busy day and it's not over--though it's time for a bite of dinner.

I keep reading that working under pressure isn't good for creativity and that multitasking makes us stupid.

This conventional wisdom about multitasking is probably true for me. But I find that working fast sometimes allows me to see the big picture much more clearly than I do when I'm sunk down into the material and paddling slowly.

Plus, the speed and the time crunch are bracing, a source of inspiration in themselves.

The moral of the post is: better that we each observe how we work best, rather than accepting these ideas unexamined.



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