Creative Courage and Car Repairs

My 17 year-old car--which you've seen on this blog before because I stencilled morning glories on it--is in the shop today for $700 worth of replacement of small wornout parts that were causing it to rumble and shimmy and throb and would soon make it stop altogether.

So I've been working at a grocery store cafe (Weaver Street Market)and a library computer (Carrboro Cybrary) all day while waiting for this to be fixed. Pleasant places to work, but the whole idea of sitting outside of the car ICU (Autologic) does not make me feel bold.

So I tell myself: it's not my body or one of my loved ones that's in the ICU, and I'm fortunate to have such a glorious and faithful car that is now getting a whole new lease on life, and it's not $2,000, and I haven't wasted the day.

But the fact is: I feel as if I somehow didn't play my cards right or I wouldn't have to buy $700 worth of car maintenance today.

This is irrational. We all have to get our cars and our teeth worked on. And nobody can slay dragons every day.

So, I've decided that for me today's dragon-in-need-of-being-slain (since I need one)is the idea that needing a car repair and wincing at the cost are not an indication of bad life decisions.

Devoting as much of my time and money as possible to art is not an indication of immaturity or failure.

On days like today, I do need to remind myself of that.



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