Healing Quotes

Advice from our wise commenters on healing boldly:

From Mojo:
"Take your time..."

From Billie:
"...When we get sick like this it's a direct message to take time for our 'selves'; and slow down our pace."

Debra W:
"Part of living boldly is knowing when to just say no to everything else, so that we can give ourselves the time that we need in order to heal. It is very important to learn when that time comes. We must become bold enough to become our own advocates."

Thanks to all.







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Pneumonia Lungs

The bug I was thinking of as sniffles turned out to be pneumonia. As the germ turns!! It was certainly a surprise to me. I tend to downplay any health problem, because I've never had one to amount to anything.

But other people kept telling me that this situation was not looking good and I finally went to a doc. One person had actually refused to do business with me, said we'll talk another day.

I'm a great believer in optimism. But there's also some value in not jauntily walking off a cliff I'd refused to recognize.

So, with a few days of sleep behind me, now I start creeping back, a little at the time. Then picking up speed, if history is any indicator.

More later on combining sickness and boldness in a useful and nondestructive way.


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Expecting to Recover Soon

Got a bug. Can't talk now. Back soon.



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The Last Lecture

If you haven't seen this already, go to Youtube and listen to Professor Randy Pausch's last lecture--on how to live--which he gives knowing he has pancreatic cancer and has been given a life expectancy of two to four months.

I had a sore throat the day I saw it, and was moving kinda slowly. The video of this gutsy, charmingly immodest, athletic, gorgeous, smart, and nice 47 year-old facing death didn't take away the slight under-the-weather feeling I had.

But it did remind me that, with the right spirit, it's possible to face anything with courage, joy, boldness, generosity, gratitude, and style.

One delightful piece of news: he has already outlived by months the prognosis. At least as inspiring as the video is his online update of his progress.





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Another Technology Success

Yesterday I carried on here about my bold move in managing to send a photo from my camera to my blog.

Riding the swell of confidence and accomplishment from that, I took on a biggie: I learned to make my own letterhead envelopes on my own printer. Not without difficulty, as you can see from this off-the-mark attempt at a return address. (By the time I'd gotten to this point, I was almost home free.)

But having persisted and struggled and whined, I now have some very artful and personal envelopes. And the immense satisfaction of having again ventured successfully into the storm-tossed surf of electronics. Little victories do add gas to one's tank.

Do remember to give yourself credit, even if it feels a little silly.




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Daily Courage

This strange structure--a water tower, I think--is about 12 stories high. And there's someone walking around on its sloping upper surface, adjusting those wires that hang down.

That guy has a job that takes daily courage. Maybe he's used to it. But I can't believe he doesn't get a stomach wobble now and then.

I pulled my car in beneath this tower yesterday, while in the process of correcting a wrong turn I'd made on the way to a printer's. My own small act of courage was to to, for the first time, shoot and send by phone a picture to my computer for this blog. There are people who are used to phoning in photos too, millions of them. But new tech tasks still give me a stomach wobble in the form of dread and irritation.

The daily courage requirement is different for each of us. An undertaking that feels like nothing for one person takes guts and boldness for another.

It's important to give ourselves credit for our own bold moves, and not compare them to walking on water towers.





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Orchestrating a Major Bold Move

My friend and office partner Carrie Knowles decided recently to create in her spare time an annual international music festival in the Raleigh area. Not that she was lacking for things to do: she's a writer and visual artist and mother of teenager.

It began thusly: Her oldest son Neil Leiter, 26, plays viola in the Brussels Chamber Orchestra which was already scheduled to come to the U.S. and play in the Bard Music Festival of the Hamptons. Since they were going to be only 500 or so miles away, it seemed a no-brainer to arrange a few concerts in North Carolina and turn it into an annual event.

Whoo-boy!

Well, a few weeks into the project it looks large and it's definitely happening.

There's plenty still to arrange, but the orchestra from Belgium will play two concerts in the Raleigh area and the Star-Spangled Banner at a Durham Bulls baseball game.

I'm wowed. And here's my point that we can all keep in mind: set the wheels of something big in motion and it's highly likely that it's going to happen. Because once you've got hosts for the musicians, restaurant meals set up, a new nonprofit in the works, a couple of concert venues and a fundraising art auction scheduled, then there's no turning back. Even if the details start to seem overwhelming.

Ten years from now Raleigh will probably be a major international classical music venue. And it will be because one woman had the idea and then got busy on the phone.

NC concerts are July 5 in Raleigh, July 6 in Cary, and July 2 for the national anthem at the Durham Athletic Park. For more info about the North Carolina appearances, contact Carrie Knowles at cjknowles@earthlink.net.

(Neil is the tall blonde guy in the back.)




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Garden Wisdom

My eccentric garden benefits from some of my husband's bold and imaginative ideas. This owl and another totem pole he used for years as posts for a badminton court. When joint troubles ended badminton, he got them moved into the plot that I devotedly cultivate. They're ever a mysterious surprise when I notice them again . I'm glad I didn't marry the kind of guy who would use a couple of aluminum poles to hold up a badminton net.


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A Month of Daily Writing

Brava to Yvonne of NYC who has initiated a 30 day writing plan.

"...My fear of not ever writing anything is finally starting to outweigh my fear of writing and failing at it. And second, while I am pretty content with everything in my life right now--I often go to bed with this emptiness inside of me, this void that something is missing. And I think it's about creating something that makes my life more meaningful than just going to work and paying the bills and lifting dumbbells at the gym."

Yvonne, we're cheering you on.



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Eccentric Gardens

I love funky gardens and think they're such a fine form of art and self-expression.

My own garden is a bit peculiar. And the current issue of Domino Magazine ("The Guide To Living With Style") reminded me of the pleasures of other people's odd plots.

Have a look at Tony Duquette's and Madame Ganna Walska's Lotusland and Robert Kourik's.

Or simply Google "eccentric gardens." There are photo books on the subject, and visitable gardens, and then there's the DIY combo of plants and objects that only you can create.

You can create a living green fantasyland in a container if that's all the dirt that's handy.


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Four Minutes to Write This

I forgot to bring my laptop from home to my office today, and my husband has my car. So I walked to the library some distance away to do this, and my time is running out after checking my email.

But here's my point: I worked on two projects today, WRITING IN HANDWRITING. Got to some good stuff. I think the change did me good. Sort of like that fellow who took his laptop to the produce dept.



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Pretend You're Blogging

"In the words of renowned writing instructor William Zinsser: 'Any invention that eliminates the fear of writing is up there with air conditioning and the light bulb.'"

From an article in the Ottawa Citizen on e-mail and texting.

One way to deal with hitting a wobbly moment writing is to pretend I'm simply writing an e-mail. Or a blog post, which almost always seems to fly straight from unformed thought to screen, without hesitation at all.



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"Hello, My Name Is Scott"

I'd intended to focus here on a cool post I ran across called "4 Ways to Motivate Your Melon". The guy who wrote it, Scott Ginsberg, had hit a wall trying to write it, so he implemented one of his own techniques for getting the juices flowing. He moved his writing location to the produce department of a local grocery store. The change did the trick. The resulting piece is entertaining and useful.

Then I googled Scott and found an even better story. This man wears a nametag full-time. The first of his several books is Hello, My Name Is Scott: Wearing Nametags for a Friendlier Society.

This man is bold.

I've said to friends so many times after leaving parties or other crowd scenes: I wish we all wore nametags all the time.

But did I start wearing a nametag myself in order to set the trend in motion? I didn't even think of it.

Scott Ginsberg did. He'd left a nametag on after an event and discovered that lots of people spoke to him and started conversations with him. So he kept on wearing it. Now he even has a nametag tattooed onto his chest.

A nametag? It takes guts to seem that dorky. I'm still not quite up to it. But I'm going to get his books, including The Power of Approachability, Make a Name for Yourself, etc.

Hello, My Name Is Peggy. Just trying out the idea.

Maybe I'll get a rhinestone cursive Peggy.

I dare you to put on your own nametag for a day and let us know what happens.


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In Lazy Memory of Bold Soldiers

So I boldly took the long weekend of Memorial Day off. And didn't even blog. That's a serious matter, like not checking e-mail, which I didn't do either.

It was startlingly easy, for one who is prone to overwork a bit and delay vacation time. I've often found that to be true with making leaps, both small and large. Once I get started, I'm puzzled why I ever hesitated.

Anyway, I did a bit of gardening for three days in a row, the last weekend that in my area that can be relied upon not to swelter.

And I took my little inflatable kayak over to nearby Jordan Lake and paddled for an hour, saw a couple of herons at water's edge. Circled a small island that during last summer's drought was attached to the shore by a long ribbon of sand.

And read. And did laundry. And hung out with my husband and a friend. And saw a movie. And ate at the admirable Watts Grocery in Durham.

When I showed up at my office building this morning, one of the upstairs tenants said, "You look rested." And I got a whole lot of work done today.

So, no downsides to this particular wee variation in the usual. When such small changes can take a booster rocket of energy to bring about, it's hard to imagine the kind of steady boldness required of the soldiers we memorialized this holiday weekend.


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The Daffodil Principle in Action

Remember the Daffodil Principle? One woman kept planting and planting, day after day, a few more daffodil bulbs. Time passed and she didn't quit. Small bits of effort multiplied and then: 50,000 bulbs burst into bloom each spring on the land surrounding her home.

With dibs and dabs of time, she'd made an art work with the impact of a mountain view. This one woman had become a force of nature.

I'm thinking of this again because I was just asked to e-mail my NC legislators asking for funding for the NC Arts Council. On the occasions when I take a moment to do such things, I'm half-thinking that I'm just wasting ten minutes.

However, a dab of my time, a dab of yours, and extraordinary things happen. People and places bloom.

Though it may not always seem so, everybody's dab is crucial. Don't forget to add yours, maybe even daily, to the world changes you want.

And, if you live in NC or have any interest in the arts here, click here to take action. It probably won't even take you ten minutes.




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Letting Your Freak Flag Fly

"Dare to Be Yourself", says the cover of the current issue of Psychology Today.

"A sense of authenticity is one of our deepest psychological needs, and people are more hungry for it than ever. Even so, being true to oneself is not for the faint of heart."

Aristotle suggested that authenticity is going after the highest good, not simply "letting your freak flag fly." (The flag phrase is from Karen Wright, author of the article, not Aristotle.)

By this definition, authenticity can have its costs, Wright points out, especially in the short term. For example, writing for the market can produce money and recognition; writing according to your own highest standards is likely to be more satisfying, and (perhaps arguably) more toward the highest good.

Showing one's quirky colors--the freak flag--is for me, not only fun, but helps in the larger effort for highest good and most profound satisfaction.

In my early twenties, just out of school, I seemed to be a bit like a color you could wear with anything. And in fact both Democrats and Republicans asked me out. Within a few years, as I became more myself, only Democrats called. Which created a smaller pool in the short-term, but led to a happy marriage.

So I think there's no either/or decision on these two approaches. I favor flying one's flag, whatever it looks like, as we each sail, with zigs and zags, toward our best selves.

(If you go looking for the article, check out the hard copy. It has a useful how-to sidebar.)




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Sweet and Sassy

A picture of a coiled rattlesnake lying in straw is on the back cover of the May issue of Wildlife in North Carolina magazine.

The image is eye-catching enough in itself. Then I was startled by the caption: "What the pigmy rattlesnake lacks in size, it makes up for in looks, rarity and bold yet endearing attitude."

Bold yet endearing? A rattler?

I studied the picture carefully and still didn't understand.

What I do like, though, is the idea of bold and endearing describing the same personality. The words bold, outspoken, etc. often get a bad rap, being considered euphemisms for obnoxious.

But they're not the same thing at all. In fact, it sometimes takes more boldness to say something nice, to say something so authentic and tender that it feels dangerous.

That willingness to be vulnerable is bold and endearing.

But I'm just not seeing it in that rattlesnake. I'll have to check out the full article on the "petite viper" in next month's issue of the magazine.



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Playing a Fear Game

Kim, a student in Perth, Australia, is having a having a bit of banter with her physics teacher in class.

From her blog Scotchkey:

"kim: Well, Mr. L. You see, I have this deficiency complex too. When I'm writing up my labs, I have a fear of writing too much because if I use up all my ink, what's going to happen then? *MrL has previously made comments about the brief-ness of my answers*"

MrL says that this would be to the detriment of her marks.


My point in posting this item: some of our hesitations are just as silly as avoiding writing because we might run out of ink.

I have even had the occasional twinge of actual guilt that I was using up so much pencil lead by doodling that produced no timeless art. This is sick! At least it's no excuse in the wealthy world of bloggers: in Varanasi researching Sister India, I knew an engineer who'd done his math homework as a kid on the margins of old newspapers. That was all the paper he had. That's not the kind of trouble that anyone who reads this is wrestling with.

I have plenty of pencil lead. And Kim can most likely get hold of all the ink she wants.

All we need is to stop making silly excuses and leap into our lab reports, our novels, our Sistine ceilings...



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One Man's Bold Decision

"I've decided to take a more personal interest in the news," said the e-mail from my friend, media expert Hank Scott, "and particularly in the things that piss me off and embarrass me as an American. It is so easy for these issues to be seen as institutional, and they are. But they also are the consequences of actions by people..."

He was referring to reading in The New York Times, where he worked for many years, about an Italian tourist arriving in Washington at Dulles Airport and being held in custody for ten days. The man is a 35 year-old lawyer who was coming to this country to visit his girlfriend and her family in Alexandria, Virginia.

The reason given for his being jailed was that he had asked for asylum in the U.S., and therefore needed to be held for a hearing. He said he wanted no such thing. Officials finally agreed this had been a mistake. Still, he was not released, in spite of the efforts of his American friends, and U.S Senator John Warner of Virginia. Instead, he spent ten days in a rural Virginia jail, where he had been taken in shackles. "He ended up in a barracks with 75 other men, including asylum-seekers who told him they had been waiting a year."

He was released when a Times reporter began investigating. Yay, New York Times!! Yay, free and vigorous press!!

And yay, Hank, for calling immigration authorities to complain and encouraging others to do the same.



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Keep Balance

A writer told me today that novelist Walker Percy kept on his desk a sign that said: Wait.

Another similar piece of wisdom received second-hand this afternoon: Be Cool. A much-published novelist offered this as advice to a younger writer startled to find himself suddenly in demand and needing to make choices.

I have a bias toward hastiness. I find it hard to refrain from a quick decision, quick action. Especially if I think I have a fish on the line who might be tempted to get away.

It's hard to wait and hard to be cool. Especially when the fate of one's novel is involved.

Still it's good advice: to let a decision rest overnight, to wait a bit and reread before sending out work that has just been revised.

In any event, it's valuable to remember: boldness does not mean rushing into action too soon.

I know a boy who, when thanking his family members during his bar mitzvah, told the congregation he had learned "chillness" from his older brother.

I'm almost sixty and in the last few years, I've learned some chillness, though not a whole lot. I do have a few strategies for moments when rashness beckons:

*leave the location
*get away from computer and phone
*get physical exercise
*talk to somebody calm
*meditate
*do a routine brainless chore like weeding
*tell whoever is pushing me that I'll get back tomorrow , even when I'm the one who is pushing me.





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