Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Small Familiar Obstacle

Yesterday a supposedly minor problem threw me. My computer wouldn't print or go on line. It was protesting my attempt to go wireless.

So I called a repair person. We set a time for her to come to my office today. And then I couldn't write. For more than an hour, I booted up and shut down over and over, all the while watching for the proper blinking lights. The lights never came on.

There was nothing I knew how to do to make the slightest bit of progress. Yet going back to work on my manuscript felt like throwing off a small rabid animal that was gripping the back of my head.

Here's the good news. I threw it off. Don't know how.

At first, turning back to my pages, I was miserable and certain I wouldn't be able to clear my mind. And it took a while. Maybe half an hour later I was engaged again in my work.

A small triumph. It seems the same ones have to be won over and over again.

The repair lady did fix my computer, by the way.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm inspired reading about you throwing off the gremlin!

My poor husband happens to be a computer guru, so he is the recipient of all my computer glitch angst. He has talked me through many a crisis - "just restart the computer, Billie, nothing bad will happen." :)

The last thing I managed to do was mysteriously hit some sequence of keys wrong so that every single document in Word ended up with strange code embedded in the text. I'm embarrassed to say how much I regressed in 30 seconds!

Next time I'm going to try your calm approach.

(Matthew thanks you... :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, the same triumphs must be won over and over again with this kind of work. Why is that?

I know that I sometimes obsess about having things "just right." That is, the tools available and working, the noise proper, fresh coffee, sated stomach. Then I get to work and allow the slightest distraction to interfere.

So, is it a subconscious game? Is this a symptom of succumbing to the fear of creating? Probably.

I guess we need to never forget that it takes a special and obviously rare courage to create, to, as has been discussed earlier in this blog, JUMP.

Anonymous said...

The fortunate thing about these activities that clutter the entrance to the creative work: they get boring. Finally, there's a limit to how much I can fritter with details. I often find that accidentally I slipped, minutes ago, back into writing.

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