Saying No at All the Wrong Times

The Jonah Complex is what Abraham Maslow calls the business of turning down our most profound callings:

"The evasion of one's own growth,
the setting of low levels of aspiration,
the fear of doing what one is capable of doing,
voluntary self-crippling,
pseudo-stupidity,
mock humility."

Personal Confessions: My Own Whale Tale

Ten or so years into freelance writing--finally reasonably well-established-- I got an inconvenient urge toward the ministry. I resisted. (I still think I was right to do so)

Then a few years later came the more compelling need to write a story about a minister who hears the voice of God and would prefer not to. I said to myself: is this what I want to do? And then I said to myself: if I turn this one down, the next one is likely to be even worse: opera singing or some such. So I wrote my first novel Revelation.

No regrets. But I also know for sure that some callings keep coming back, one way or another. Might as well figure out the best way to say yes.

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In a Maslow Mood

The famous "growth psychologist": Abraham Maslow is someone who is in huge agreement with me (but he got there first.) He's the guy who went global with the idea of "self-actualization." Another guy, Kurt Goldstein, actually came up with the idea.

It's not a very sexy term, but it's a dazzling goal. Essentially, it's making the choices and doing the things that will best lead us each toward full potential, in mind, body, and spirit, in work and in love. Who could argue with that?

On the other hand, who consistently lives by it? Maybe two percent of us do it most of the time, Maslow said at one point. And that's partly because much of the world's population is occupied with trying to be safe and well-fed, which has to come first.

But even on a full stomach, it's not so easy. I find that some of his bits of wisdom remind me of my self-actualizing intentions. Here are a couple of my favored Maslow quotes:

“We fear to know the fearsome and unsavory aspects of ourselves, but we fear even more to know the godlike in ourselves.”

“The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short.”

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