Getting Focused

I keep ducking out of the task before me today to cruise celebrity gossip web sites. Partly because I've worked too much lately and partly because of the disaster in Haiti.

Here's the Haiti connection: when something huge is going on, it feels wrong not to be somehow involved in the moment. It reminds me of the feeling I had once in the early 70s when I was working as a reporter for the local afternoon paper, The Raleigh Times. Some big local story broke; I have a vague memory of a hijacking attempt at the airport. I was working on another story and wasn't shifted to the big news of the day. In the newsroom I was surrounded by people madly working at deadline on this one overwhelming event. It made what I was doing feel trivial, or disrespectful, or just beside the point.

Curiously the opposite was true during the 9/11 morning. I was creating a set of book club questions about themes in my novel Sister India. I learned that one tower had gone down. Then I went back to work. Somehow the impulse to find a TV to watch felt like prurient interest. (It somehow didn't occur to me that another building might fall. I foolishly optimistically assumed it was over.)

In any case, the fact that my novel was about Hindu-Muslim clashes in an Indian holy city made what I was doing feel intensely relevant.

I have no such feeling about my schedule for today and any connection with the collapsed city of Port-au-Prince. And I'm distracted.

The bold thing -- the right thing -- is to send money, say a prayer, and go back to doing the stuff that is mine to do. Certainly my dawdling at Page Six Celebrity Gossip isn't going to help anything.

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Why All Comparisons Are Odious

The business about comparing people being bad is a cliche.

Ever wonder why?

It's because it's always apples and oranges. There are no equivalent situations. Even identical twins growing up in the same house have different aims and different sets of problems to solve.

I think we all know that at a gut level. But it's easy to forget, especially in the case of self-judgments.

The practice of measuring is "odious" because it's always inaccurate. When I do it, it simply distracts me from doing the things I need to do while here on Earth.

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Nature Setting a Good Example

Here are a few more blossoms to remind you to spring forth with your own brilliant creations.

Even though the climate might create some obstacles.

Years ago, I said to my therapist about the market for literary novels: "you don't know what's it's like, it's working in a cage with a tiger." (Not the most apt comparison, but the basic idea is: difficult situation.)

He said: "How much good is it going to do you to spend your time watching the tiger?"

So I'm keeping an eye on the flowers, as I work.








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Twitching

At the time, she thought her elementary school teacher was Jezebel, my friend said at lunch today. In addition to whatever else K. suspected about her teacher, the woman did one thing that was really, really annoying. She allowed no twitching, no finger drumming. She required that the students sit still.

The very thought makes my nervous mannerisms go into full play. (Now taking off bracelet, flipping it around in circles.)

And what a harsh thing to do to a bunch of kids.

But she was right about the twitching, K. says. It sidetracks energy away from the focus of attention. Sitting completely still allows a more intense focus. That's the idea.

I don't argue with that.

However, for me the twitching, even multi-tasking, helps to keep me from a kind of hyperattentiveness that can be as destructive as neglect. This hyper-focus is also known as trying too hard.

Ideally, I'd get rid of the trying too hard, and then be able to sit still, and then take in third grade math in a blinding flash. (Reach for the stars!) But without the near-continuous leg swinging, toe tapping, finger drumming, doodling and twiddling, I fear I'd gain a hundred pounds. Seriously. Steady movement burns a lot of delicious calories.

Anyway, I may try this stillness experiment--I realize now that my right foot is bouncing. But I'm going to be careful with it. I'd be interested in anyone else's experience with the pros and cons of full focus.






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