Friday, April 18, 2008

A Bold Idea: Sabbatical

I can now shut up about the fact that when I was in high school I was not selected to go to Governor's School in the summer. In the last week I got my own mini-Governor's School.

About 25 years ago, North Carolina Teacher of the Year Jean Powell suggested in a speech that there be a sort of Governor's School for teachers. The (few and fortunate) high-performing high school kids chosen each year to attend this advanced and fabulously enriching boarding school session always came back so excited about learning.

So, Powell said, why not do the same thing for teachers? And send them back to the classroom re-excited about teaching and learning.

Then-Governor Jim Hunt jumped on the idea and the North Carolina Center for the Advancement of Teaching was born.

This week I've been teaching a class here called "Write from your Roots." I feel I'm the one who is refreshed and re-excited about learning...and about my own teaching and writing and living.

The 22 guests--teachers, counselors, and librarians--and the staff I worked with here (Jane Dalton, author of The Compassionate Classroom and Tara Melton-Miller) could teach anybody anything. I hope the "students" have gotten even a fraction of the good from the experience that I have.

If you happen to work for the NC public schools, take a bold step and apply to come here. There's a magic chemistry happening on this 30-acre mountain campus--and no doubt at the coastal Ocracoke site as well.

If you aren't eligible, TAKE A BOLD STEP AND FIND YOUR OWN SABBATICAL SOMEWHERE. Even a few days can be a small lifetime tucked into the big one.

Thanks to Jean Powell who boldly spoke up about a good idea and to Jim Hunt who said: let's do it. And to the Legislature that helps it continue. And of course to NCCAT.

Woohoo! I'm coming back! Take that, Governor's School selection panel of 1965-66!



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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Teachers as Writers

I do some teaching, but am primarily a writer. Not unusual. Many, if not most, career writers also teach. But perhaps unlike those who are drawn to teaching first, lots of the writers-who-teach are pretty introverted.

This week I'm leading a group made up of people who are career public school educators and are spending this week (at the NC Center for the Advancement of Teaching) doing some writing.

After four days, I find myself fascinated by the good things I see in the way teachers conduct themselves as writers.

Almost all of these people are used to "presenting" all day. They are not shy. Or if they are, they're hiding it well. They're also very practiced communicators, with a lot of experience in giving feedback, getting people's attention, laying down the law, and making sure people understand the assignment.

These strengths show in their writing. As writers, they're clear. Bold. They get their message out. Not once have I had the impulse to say: I'm not getting what you mean here.

Whereas, my biggest struggle as a writer is to be sure I'm not too understated. And that's a fairly common piece of feedback in the writing group I've been in for years.

So it's refreshing and inspiring to sit with writers who, with very little hesitation, get their thoughts on the page and their writing out to others. And, for the teacher-writers, it's a great advantage they have as they begin a new kind of writing, for self-expression.




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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Courage for the Inner Journey



Here's the scenery outside the classroom window where I'm leading a group this week on Writing from Your Roots. (My seat faces the wall of windows, I'm happy to say.)

The group is a couple of dozen teachers from all over North Carolina, meeting at the NC Center for the Advancement of Teaching in Cullowhee.

Seminars here are designed to refresh and re-inspire the teachers. This particular topic is also one that requires of them a fair amount of courage, because writing from the deepest part of oneself takes some digging. And there's often material that's painful, sometimes material that's a surprise.

Tough prose has been read around our table this week: about dealing with a parent's suicide, an early widowhood, and being a refugee from the war in Bosnia, about facing one's buried angers and fears, as well as more joyful experience.

People have leaped over their in-the-moment fears and hesitation and written strong stories. It has been exciting and gratifying to watch and hear.

I applaud these writers and will keep their courage in mind as an example when I'm back at my own manuscript. Because writing fiction also requires some well-digging, before the fountain rises shining in the air.



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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

40 Inspiring Writing Blogs

Kathryn Vercillo has posted links to "40 Inspiring Writing Blogs that you Don’t Already Read" on her site Real Words from a Real Writer.

You'll find that there's at least one on the list that you do already read. And thanks to Kathryn for including this site.


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If It Scares You...

The seminar I'm leading this week of 22 NC public school teachers got rolling last night and I discovered that teachers are the ideal folks to have in a discussion group. Wow, what a bunch of thoughtful live wires.

This gathering is at NCCAT in Cullowhee in the NC mountains. That's the NC Center for the Advancement of Teaching. Gorgeous campus. From where I sit in our meeting room I can watch the spire of water in the fountain in the center of the pond next to the dining room.

So yesterday I was going on about my pre-teaching nervousness. It's gone. As always, getting moving makes the difference.

In our discussion last night, one person volunteered some wisdom from her sister: If it scares the shit out of you, do it.

I'd qualify that a tad: if the risk is reasonably low and the gain is significant, do it. I still don't see the point of bungee jumping.

Otherwise, doing what we want to do is worth weathering a bit of initial uneasiness. It's more than worth it.


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Monday, April 14, 2008

A Teaching Week

I just arrived in Cullowhee in the NC mountains where I'm leading a writing group for NCCAT--the North Carolina Center for the Advancement of Teaching.

I meet with the group for the first time twenty minutes from now. I always have "green room" nervousness just before starting. Once we get going I'm fine. But still these twenty minutes to go.

It's curious to me that I'm edgy like this before running a group. Public speaking never worries me at all. It feels completely different; it's just talking. Whereas, a class needs to really deliver something.

18 minutes now.

Think I'll go for a walk. Or talk to people, that always distracts me and gets me pumped up.



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Saturday, April 12, 2008

A Creativity Site Recommendation

Kay from California just sent an address to a mind-stirring site from the guy who wrote A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative, just re-released in a 25th anniversary edition.

The same fellow also produced the Creative Whack Pack, a set of cards with 64 different imaginative idea-producing strategies and the Ball of Whacks, "a creativity workshop in a ball."

I have a set of those cards in my bottom desk drawer, but I'd never before gone looking for the site: Creative Think by Roger von Oech. It's a plenty lively place.

In a recent post, von Oech suggests having a "mantra" for your work, but using the word more in the sense of a motto. His is "Look for a second right answer." That's bound to produce interesting outcomes, and it contains a strategy not simply a goal.

My own is "Go after the best result," with the fuller version being: "I unhesitatingly, serenely, joyfully go after the best result." I want to figure out a way to build in the kind of strategy his offers. I'm convinced that having a pithy statement of guiding principle installed in my brain is a bit like having a centerboard in a sailboat.





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Friday, April 11, 2008

Make A Mistake Today!

This quote arrived at the bottom of an email this week:

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." Scott Adams

I love the idea because it's true and it has the potential to take away the destructive performance pressure so many of us put on ourselves.

Having read this item and pondered it, I then went looking for the identity of the to-me mysterious Scott Adams. Turns out he's famous: the creator of Dilbert.
He's also quite an aphorist. Brainy Quote has a long list of good sayings from him, ranging from wry to inspiring.

Here's another sample from the inspirational end of his spectrum: "Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive."




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Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Closet Challenge

A few days ago, Mamie Potter of the Can I Do It? blog posted a photo of her closet and an invitation on this blog for others to do the same.

She was simply considering cleaning hers out. In response, Billie Hinton posted a shot of hers on her blog, Camera Obscura saying, "I don't know why but I love the idea of exposing my junky inner self to the world."

Not having anything to hide is a very freeing thing. I never thought of my closet as being hidden, but "in the closet" is certainly the classic phrase used for keeping a large secret.

So I think Mamie's really onto something with this idea. And here is the unveiling of my own junky inner self. It is so much neater than my mental world--or the inside of my car.



If any of the rest of you decide to take part in this closet experiment, do let us all know.



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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Getting to the Real Reason

Yesterday, I was griping about being in a nasty mood about a list of annoyances.

This morning, my husband Bob, who is a psychologist, suggested that maybe my irritation list wasn't the main thing that's bothering me. Maybe instead it's that a family member is showing undeniable and troubling symptoms.

The truth swept over me--slo-mo. He was right. That was it, I could feel the certainty of it in my jaw muscles, which I've been (destructively) clenching in my sleep.

Now, why can't I always figure out for myself what's bothering me? Is it aversion to facing the real reason? Lack of courage/boldness?

I had even questioned earlier how I could feel so sad and mean over stuff that's pretty familiar and doesn't usually get to me at all.

I'd like to have a procedure for: getting to the real reason for whatever is going on in my own head. Because just identifying it is a tremendous relief. And because I don't like deceiving myself.

Again, I welcome your ideas.

Upcoming: in response to the dare/meme from Mamie Potter at Can I Do It?, tomorrow I post my closet picture, thus letting it all hang out.



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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

What to Do for a Bad Mood

First let me say that there's nothing life-and-death troubling me just now. But at the moment I do have computer problems, dental problems, agent problems, and book problems. I'm sure I could think of something else to put on that list if I put my irritated mind to it.

Last night my husband asked me what he could to cheer me (he's a large bright spot, that's for sure.) I told him he could bring me home a gooey dessert. He brought a slice of cheesecake with a layer of chocolate crumbles on the top. Good man. Good cheesecake.

Gooey chocolate dessert: That's one thing to do for a bad mood, as long as the cure doesn't get out of hand. (I also meditated for half a hour which helped too.)

What do you do for a minor but brain-numbing multi-day bad mood? (Better come up with something or I'm likely to get out of hand.)



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Monday, April 07, 2008

Write from Our Roots


Next week I'll be teaching a workshop in the North Carolina mountains titled "Write From Our Roots", for the NC Center for the Advancement of Teaching.

A piece I read yesterday in The New York Times Book Review reminded me that roots can be understood in a variety of ways. In an essay on the excellent Jhumpa Lahiri's new book Unaccustomed Earth, Liesl Schillinger noted that the writer "shows that the place to which you feel the strongest attachment isn't necessarily the country you're tied to by blood or birth: it's the place that allows you to become yourself. This place, she quietly indicates, may not lie on any map."

I ask myself what that "place" is for me and I suspect that it's my love for and memory of my hometown of Wilmington, NC. Paradoxically, it's the place that I tried hardest to be like everyone else.

The biography I'm researching is about an artist who lived there before me and who was at least as peculiar as I was naturally inclined to be.

There's one writer/therapist (Harville Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want) who says that we choose as mates people who have the traits that challenged us as kids. The idea is: this time I'm going to get it right.

Maybe something similar is going on with my selection of subject. But the fact is: I mostly don't regret my efforts back then to fit in. That's a reasonable choice, and can be a bold choice; just as it's possible to be both a feminist and a housewife. (I never know where I'm going to wind up when I start writing one of these posts, same with novels.)

Anyway, as I prepare to teach this short course next week, I'm examining my own roots once again, including those that don't lie on a map.





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Sunday, April 06, 2008

All Comparisons Are Odious

I don't know who first said that, but I do think we all suffer from comparisons.

I just visited Debbie Whaley's wonderful blog, Four Angels' Momma . It was such a pleasure and an uplift to be there. After a few minutes, a familiar destructive thought crept in: why am I not writing a warm blog like this, that feels, not sappy, but more like hot chocolate and excellent slippers and a reading chair, even when it's about the beach.

Then I remembered: this is a clear example of why I'm writing this blog as I am. To encourage us each to do our own thing. Me, especially.

I need to write about the sneaking destructive thoughts and how to catch and make friends with them. (This process is for me crucial to the process of writing--grabbing the fleeting creatures and interviewing them.)

So again I say to myself and anyone else interested: the world loses when any of us abandons her/his own dharma and goes to imitating.



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Saturday, April 05, 2008

"The Anxiety of Nothingness"

What could possibly ever be scary about writing, painting, the blank page, etc? Rollo May, author of The Courage to Create, says it's fear of going into the chaotic unknown.

“This is what the existentialists call the anxiety of nothingness." (quote from La Bloga, a litblog about Chicana/Chicano writers.

My feeling is that it's not necessarily because of the fear of confronting nothing; it's also because of the snakes and spiders one might find.

The novel I'm working on--particularly intensely yesterday--will likely be considered by some to be a rather nasty book. It has some scenes that might be called hard-core.

Why have I written this? I don't altogether know. But I can say that it's a combo of calling and desire and some weird feeling of inevitability, karma or dharma. (I also think it's a damn good book, hope it will appeal to fans of the superb literary and erotic writer Susanna Moore, among others.)

Some years ago, I made a promise to myself to write what emerged from my depths, however strange. I'm doing it, and watching the process with curiousity, defiance, uneasiness, pride, puzzlement, and gusto.



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Friday, April 04, 2008

Writing Trance

Too caught up in my novel to switch gears for blogging today. Hope your project is also deeply engrossing.



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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Power of Each Pair of Hands

At a cleanup at North Carolina's Jordan Lake (near my house) a few weeks ago, about 50 volunteers picked up trash over a period of 4.5 hours. (Previous post title: So Glad I Did)

The results: 110 old tires and roughly 250 large bags of trash.

The bold move: getting out there when you might think lots of people are going and two more hands won't make all that much difference.

The pictures are from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, which organized the effort and grilled hotdogs afterwards.





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Ode

Just ran across a magazine "for intelligent optimists" that is both predictably upbeat and appealingly unpredictable. Ode Magazine started in Rotterdam in 1995 and has been publishing out of San Francisco since 2004.

The current April issue includes a piece by William Stimson, a proponent of "radical simplicity," titled "How to Move a Tree: Why Attempting the Impossible Is Always the Right Thing to Do."

And, in the surprising category, is a story: "Tax the Beautiful: Ugly People Should Be Compensated for their Obvious Disadvantage in Society, argues Gonzalo Otaloro." (by Marco Fisher)

Taxing the beautiful is the most outrageous idea I've heard since a few days ago when a Republican candidate for statewide office in NC was reported as favoring merger of the U.S. and Canada.

I can't say that I support either of those, but I love the wide-ranging thinking they show.



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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Do One Nice Thing

Doing a nice thing for someone can also be encouraging and empowering, as well as health-improving, for the do-er. (See The Healing Power of Doing Good, by Allan Luks with me, Peggy Payne.)

My local paper Sunday ran a piece by Jane Lampman from The Christian Science Monitor about a woman and her website who promote doing a nice thing every Monday. DoOneNiceThing.com offers specific suggestions and addresses if you'd like to send a nice thing: for example, a packet of pencils, notebook, etc. for a child in Afghanistan. This one idea has resulted in the delivery of 70 tons of school supplies.

The originator of the site, Debbie Tenzer, an LA marketing pro, also found that it perked up her sometimes discouraging Mondays.

I do realize that today is Tuesday, but we could secretly pretend it's Monday and do something nice anyway. As Martha might say, It's a bold thing.



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Monday, March 31, 2008

Cross-Training

If you've been practicing and teaching your art for a while, it's helpful to occasionally become a beginner at something else. This experience refreshes the practitioner's imagination and renews the teacher's empathy.

Years ago, I heard novelist Lee Smith say to a writing workshop group: if you're new at this, I have some sense of how you feel; I just started taking a tap dance class.

Yesterday, I was a construction assistant to my brother Franc Payne, who is renovating a house in Atlantic, NC, on one of the huge sounds behind the Outer Banks.

I'd never done this kind of work before. (The only thing I ever built before was, tellingly, a lectern when I was about nine, and it was wobbly.)

I found I was pretty fair at carrying lumber in and hauling old bricks out, a bit tentative on subtracting fractions fast in my head, and quite wary of the nail gun and the electric saw.

In addition to having had a wonderful day-long visit with my brother, I return to my desk today well-exercised and with a wider view of the world...and probably more patience with the fact that in the arts we're always beginners.



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Saturday, March 29, 2008

A Cure from the Creative Unconscious

Yesterday I very reluctantly took a small action toward where I need to be and made a paradoxical leap forward.

Translating that into more concrete terms: A week or so ago, I posted here that I was going to have to relax, at least in my sleep, because I've been damaging my teeth because of jaw tension at night.

My first goal was to convince myself that tension is bad. "To do this I first have to recode my tense muscles as unhealthy. Right now, I view a state of tension as sleek and alert and leopard-like. That's got to change, all the way down in the basement of my mind. I think that once that's done, the rest may come along naturally."

So yesterday I attended a four-hour hypnosis workshop led by my psychologist-hypnotherapist husband Bob (Dick), with the stated aim of learning to see my unconscious tension as bad. (I'd never even felt this clenching, since it only happened in my sleep.)

Here's what happened: I fogged out in trance as Bob led an induction for the group of about a dozen, each of whom had described some desired change. When I "woke up" maybe twenty minutes later, I was in pain from my forehead down to my collarbone. All the bones in my face hurt. At first, I was disappointed, thinking: well, I've only made my trouble worse.

Then I realized: I'd just created the motivation I needed, had just changed my whole view of this tension. There was no question that it was bad; it felt like a killer sinus headache all over my face. That continued until I went to sleep last night.

I am now entirely sure that this kind of tension is bad. It is not strength in any form. It has been grinding me down. And I'm pretty sure that, with this new awareness, my basement mind is convinced and that I'm on the way to being through with it, if not already there.

Putting one's whole mind to work on a problem, of art or anything else, can create some pretty amazing results.



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Friday, March 28, 2008

And He Thinks Writing Is Scary?

We all know how to muster courage in a scary situation. That knowledge is transferable.

I knew a fellow once who was a Marine fighter pilot, but the prospect of finishing his novel made him nervous. He finally marshalled his airplane driver gumption, wrapped up the book and sold it to a major house.

A lot of the time the things that stump us are really the easier ones. I find that if I shift myself into the easeful state of mind of earlier successful ventures then I can ride on that courage to take on the sticky challenge at hand.

From the Charleston Post and Courier, here's another writer with a paradoxical courage story, James Lynah Palmer,author of a collection of stories, "Going Coastal."

"When friend and publisher Donna Huffman asked him to publish stories in the magazine in 2003, he was wary.

'I've always had a fear of writing,' he said. Huffmann suggested he use a pseudonym to write his stories. He took her up on the offer and Stumblin' Jimmy Watermelon was born. "Going Coastal" encompasses three years of these stories. Palmer continues to write stories for the Bluffton Breeze. This is his first book...

When not writing stories, Palmer has made a business of fashioning underwater sculptures, scuba diving to find underwater materials to turn into art. He's turned sunken logs and rocks into fish carvings and carved an angry fictitious "Hugo" character into a rock underwater near Mepkin Abbey. He also finds businesses and corporations to sponsor the projects."

Added note: for some of us, finding corporate sponsors can be a project requiring monumental courage. Often we don't give ourselves credit for large accomplishments simply because they're familiar and routine. Everybody has a few heroic acts in their pockets; it's simply a matter of recognizing them.


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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Blunder On!

Here's some encouragement from a blogging minister that can be useful whatever your beliefs:

"...It scares me to think how easy it would be to let fear keep me from doing something God called me to do! And how many others are not doing things God gave them the talent to do because they focus too much on their weaknesses and shortcomings? What are you not doing because you fear ridicule, failure, or revealing your foibles? Maybe by risking being the village idiot occasionally you might help someone else learn a powerful lesson that could change their life."



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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

More Odd Things


See previous post for explanation. Once you start gathering items, it's hard to stop.


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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Odd Things


Innovation is little more than old things put to new uses, or elements combined in new ways.

Recently my office partner Carrie Knowles picked up a piece of curved transparent plastic from the floor near my desk. It turned out to be the handle I'd cut off of the floor protector under my desk chair, no longer needed once the plastic square was in place.

I said: hand it to me, I'll throw it away.

She said: No, I can make something out of this.

Thus began my collection of "odd things." In recent weeks, for Carrie's art, I've been saving the weird bits of stuff that I'd always looked twice and hated to dump but didn't have a use for.

Lots of these items have been unidentifiable; no one would have guessed that that plastic curve was a cut-off handle from a floor protector. This latest batch is mostly items that are recognizable. I'm particularly proud of that big-eyed fishing lure, which I found in the woods near neighboring Jordan Lake. I would have also had trouble throwing away the wonderfully deep divider from a box of jelly beans.

Now these items are on their way to becoming art supplies. I already saw what Carrie did with a sack of corks I sent her way. She cut them lengthwise into thin layers and used them as stamps for printmaking. These cork-stamps produce very interesting patterns.

Thinking of junk as art resources has done at least as much for my way of seeing as it has done for Carrie's store of useful odd things.

Altered Intersection is a site you might like to visit, "...where thrift store scores, found objects, and natural materials come together."

Looking at this kind of art helps loosen up my brain.



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Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Daily Courage to Write

Whosoever can drive a car can manage any of the risks that art and self-expression involve.

Just think about what's involved in driving, the constant risk, and cars in the opposing lane passing at high speeds only a few feet away. And yet we're unworried enough to talk on the phone, adjust the heat and the radio, and admire the scenery, while we're hurtling along.

I wouldn't think of handling a chain saw--a machine like that? with a sharp blade?--I'm not good at machinery, much too dangerous. But piloting my own speed craft--that I can do in the dark.

What all this signifies to me is that it's a matter of growing accustomed to the practice and the risk. What we do every day --writing, for example--ceases to feel so monumental. The resulting relaxation is good for the imagination, the productivity, and the pleasure in the process.



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Friday, March 21, 2008

Teeth Clenching

This morning my dentist told me I've developed some problems from clenching my teeth in my sleep and from bone loss from osteoporosis.

Now it's mid-afternoon and, in a true fit of self-absorption, I've thought of very little but my mouth since. This pondering has focused on: blaming myself for being tense and wondering what else I've done wrong to cause this. And on how much it will cost to get it fixed. And how bad it could get.

(The form for my worrying was writing a one-page summary of a book that would help me deal with this, that I wish I had today.)

I do know that my immediate focus on money is in large part to ward off awareness of aging and eventual death, and the question of whether I've played my cards right so far in this life. (Quite enough to make a person clench her teeth.)

Just now I talked with my clinical psychologist-hypnotist husband Bob on the phone; and he had some good ideas.

What my strategy comes down to (aside from dental work) is boldly relaxing, which seems to me an oxymoron. To do this I first have to recode my tense muscles as unhealthy. Right now, I view a state of tension as sleek and alert and leopard-like. That's got to change, all the way down in the basement of my mind. I think that once that's done, the rest may come along naturally.



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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Adaptive or Innovative

Just ran across an idea on a three-year-old issue of a creativity ezine about styles of creativity. Citing work by Charles Prather and Lisa Gundry in Blueprints for Innovation, the article describes two innate approaches: adaptive innovation, which is working to fine-tune or patch up existing systems; and innovative, which is creating an entirely new system.

For a writer that comes down to: do you prefer doing your first drafts or revisions? I'd rather think that I'm innovative, but in fact I prefer revising.

And of course we all have to do some of both. Helpful to know one's preference, though. For me a first draft is best approached as getting something down as fast as possible, then settle into the warm bath of playing in the story, once I know its outlines.



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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

On Writer's Block

"It’s not the fear of writing that blocks people, it’s fear of not writing well..." This comes from L.S. Russell: Trying to Stay On Top of Things.

I agree.

The tyranny of our unreasonable standards can get in the way of doing our best work. So can the outrageous idea that a new piece, a first draft, is supposed to immediately rise to the level of earlier finished work.

That's sort of like handing a baby a briefcase and sending her off to take the bar exam. There are a lot of steps between start and finish that can't be skipped.


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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Daffodil Principle

This is excerpted from one of those e-mails that's going around. Often they're soppy-sentimental, or funny, or trying-hard-to-be-funny. I found this one pretty inspiring. So thank you to whoever wrote it>



"...Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

'Who did this?' I asked Carolyn. 'Just one woman,' Carolyn answered. 'She lives on the property. That's her home.' Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. 'Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking', was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. '50,000 bulbs,' it read. The second answer was, 'One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.' The third answer was, 'Began in 1958.'

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.


That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

'It makes me sad in a way,' I admitted to Carolyn. 'What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!'

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. 'Start tomorrow,' she said. (NOTE: I'd say, start today, start this minute.)

She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, 'How can I put this to use today?'

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....

Until your car or home is paid off

Until you get a new car or home

Until your kids leave the house

Until you go back to school

Until you finish school

Until you clean the house

Until you organize the garage

Until you clean off your desk

Until you lose 10 lbs.

Until you gain 10 lbs.

Until you get married

Until you get a divorce

Until you have kids

Until the kids go to school

Until you retire

Until summer

Until spring

Until winter

Until fall

Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."




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Monday, March 17, 2008

More About Dennis Rodman

Yesterday while I was sitting in my dead car for several hours reading the autobiography of NBA star and outrageous iconoclast Dennis Rodman (see previous post for why), I found myself inspired by his story.

He had decided to be his flamboyant self and a pro basketball player at the same time. When his true colors began to show--bleached blonde African-American hair and tattoos, before they were fashionable--he didn't feel he was getting the support of his team and the NBA.

But then Sports Illustrated ran a cover story about him, the photo showing him dressed in leather with one of his fifteen exotic birds on his shoulder. It was the second best selling issue of the year, second only to the swimsuit edition. "That's the kind of thing the league doesn't understand," he wrote in his life story. "Sometimes different is better." In his book, the sentence was not only boldface, it was in CAPITAL LETTERS.

Different isn't good in itself. But when the differences come out of genuine belief and authentic personality and choices, they make an impression that a false self never can.





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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Bad As I Wanna Be

Driving to the coast to help (chat with) my brother Franc while he's renovating a house, I had a small mishap. I fell asleep driving and ran off the road. No harm done, but I decided to take a nap so it wouldn't happen again. I pulled into a church parking lot somewhere on Hwy 70 East.

When I woke up an hour later, I discovered I'd left my lights on and my battery was dead and my car was boxed in and the church service had started. Long story I won't bore you with, but when help arrived 3.5 hours!!! later, I was deep into the autobiography of iconoclastic basketball star Dennis Rodman, Bad As I Wanna Be.

I hadn't planned to read this book; I'd picked it up at a thrift shop for a quarter because a friend of mine used to think the guy was cool. It was the only book I had in the car. I didn't know much about Rodman except for his dating Madonna and dyeing his hair multi-colored.

Well, I found him inspiring. He came to the NBA, not from being an ACC star as so many do. At twenty he was pushing a broom on the night shift at the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport.

When he took up basketball at that age, he soared. When he hit huge success, he felt like a fraud and a puppet. He was on the point of shooting himself one spring night in 1993 when he decided that he would instead stay alive, stay in the NBA, and stop trying to hide who he was.

And he did. And the crowds loved him big time. And even if I don't admire all of his choices, I admire the one he made that April night.

More on this tomorrow...



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Saturday, March 15, 2008

So Glad I Did

So-glad-I-did is a category of activities that I don't really want to plan and, when the time comes, I don't really want to stir myself to do, and then I get there and have a wonderful time and I'm so glad...

This morning was one of those: a lakeshore cleanup. I live near Jordan Lake, a large many-armed body of water in central NC. I regularly paddle my little inflatable kayak there in warm weather, and gaze fondly upon these waters from the bridge several times a week.

So, when I saw the notice asking for volunteers to pick up trash along the wooded shore today, it seemed a natural for me to take part. Yesterday I wasn't in the mood. (And had a better offer.)

But sticking with the original plan, I got out there in my rubber boots and gloves and picked up thousands of tiny bits of styrofoam and slivers of plastic, as well as bottles, a bike tire, fishing lures, lots of cigar filters, and one syringe, which I first took for a thermometer. There were about 50 of us toting Hefty bags and a motorboat taking the filled bags back to a landing.

The amassed trash after 4.5 hours of gathering would have filled a small barge.

And now at midday, after such a productive and invigorating morning, I feel great.

What's always amazing is that that good feeling is such a surprise, because I'm coauthor of a book on this subject: The Healing Power of Doing Good, written with Allan Luks. The whole point of the book is that doing a good turn helps the health and well-being of the doer.

You'd think I'd remember.

Having the mental category of so-glad-I-did helps me override the impulse to stay in my usual routine. And that impulse is unnervingly strong.

The morning did have its humbling aspect, though. When I got back to the central trash-bag location, I discovered that somewhere out there in the woods, I'd lost my sunglasses. Left them for someone on the next trash detail to pick up and high-mindedly think: how could anybody toss litter so cavalierly?

Still, I'm glad I got out there.




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Friday, March 14, 2008

On Risk

From actor, dancer, real estate businesswoman, inventor, and original Catwoman Julie Newmar in Esquire:

"You can't fail. The further you fall, the greater the opportunity for growth and challenge."




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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Clutter and Creativity

I heard recently that Clutterers Anonymous is the fastest growing 12-step program in the U.S. Don't know if that's correct, but I can easily believe it.

In recent weeks, I've been on a simplifying and order-bringing binge and it leaves me lighter in spirit, in fact exuberant.

Recent research indicates that people who get rid of their junk also lose weight and have less depression.

On the other hand, there's an image of the creative space as one that's full of odds and ends that the creator can join in surprising ways and combinations to come up with something new.

I'm now convinced that it's possible to have both order and interesting odds and ends. In fact, the interesting ones stand out better when the collection of empty boxes is gone. Or the most interesting box stands out better when the drab ones are gone. And so on.

I'm delighting in this process of dejunking and neatening and that pleasure is one reason for my exuberance. I've always thought of cleaning up as something I should do, because things had gotten so bad--or something I shouldn't do, because I should really be doing something more directly productive.

It finally strikes me that getting ready and cleaning up are part of the process of production. And it feels as if decluttering is something I get to do, not a chore I have to do.




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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Overbooking

Freelancers have to operate like airlines, overbooking flights a little, in order to come close to full occupancy. Taking assignments is like that. I've often accepted a little (or a lot) more work than is comfortable because things do get delayed and/or fall through.

This is just one aspect of the writing business that keeps us at the edge of our chairs.

In the last 48 hours I've had one project delayed for a couple of months and one finishing faster than I'd expected. This leaves me with one large-ish job that I'd thought twice about taking. Glad I took it.

More often than not, though, the jobs stick and the workload is heavier than I expected. It has always been do-able. I think there's a sort of internal freelancer's biological clock that knows what would be simply impossible.


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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Facing Technology With A Stout Heart

In the last two weeks, my printer and phone died, and I had just started the arduous switch to mainly using a new email address and system.

Now, I'm not a complete tech dolt. But neither am I a techie. And taking on all these new systems and gizmos to click and plug and import, etc. is no small thing. It's a bit like walking a plank between two ships on open ocean. The fact that my identity hasn't plunged into the turbulent sea below is already a small miracle.

My progress so far gives me confidence in the way that Outward Bound is supposed to do: if I can sleep in a hammock in a jungle tree, then I can do anything. If I can venture into a different inbox, I can certainly solve any book problem. This really feels far riskier; we are after all talking about my address book.

So I am resolved: Whenever it's necessary to spend what feels like miserably wasted time on tech details, it helps to keep in mind: the high-wire aspects of it are character-building.

(If you have gadget enthusiasm, this post does not apply to you.)







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Monday, March 10, 2008

Monday Kick Start?

I just ran across a nice list of "creativity kick starts" . If you need something to get you going on a Monday or whenever, have a look.

One interesting thought found there: Adopt a Genius. Essentially choose a tremendously successful role model and study how that person solved the problems you're working on.

Now, that's a little slower than a kick, but could certainly draw me into a new way of thinking.



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Sunday, March 09, 2008

When You're Writing and Get Stuck

Write down on another sheet of paper or in a different document what seems to be the problem. This can help in two ways. You’re acknowledging the difficulty and physically putting it aside. And/or, the “problem” can take you to the very heart of what you’re writing.

(This suggestion is an excerpt from a guest post I wrote today for Mystic Lit Blog. Do go visit there for the fuller explanation, and to read the other novelists posting at that fine site.)




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Saturday, March 08, 2008

Orwell on Fear and Writing

"Good novels are written by people who are not frightened."

That's from George Orwell, author of some fairly daring novels: 1984 and Animal Farm.

And I know he's right. I had a lot of struggle with my previous novel Sister India, until I pretty much gave up on seeing it published in my lifetime and started revising it to be the way I'd want to leave it when I'm gone. (I did make sure that included a pretty fast-paced plot.) When I finished that revision, my agent sold it in 2.5 weeks.

I think that in letting go (mostly) of how the book would be received, I also let go of fear and the concommitant strain on the writing. Not so easy for me to do until it seems that there are no other options. I may need to learn how to switch into that attitude from the beginning.



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Friday, March 07, 2008

Feedback On My Novel

Here's what I just heard from an editor about my novel-in-progress, Cobalt Blue:

"Is Cobalt Blue a) primarily an erotic novel, b) a novel of spiritual awakening (with sex a strong, integral part of spirit), or c) quality women’s fiction that pushes some boundaries, but is essentially mainstream?

From acquisition to point-of-sale, publishing demands that one clear message be sent about a book. This is unfair and maddening to authors, but the reality we’re all stuck with."

To fit into any of those categories, I'd have to shift the weight of elements of this novel. Whatever I decide to do with the feedback, I do like to know what I'm dealing with. Because then I can decide on my strategy: how to meet market requirements without undoing my intentions in the book.

I've been through this before, and have always found that in the process of revision, the solutions are unexpected and the book has become better at accomplishing my original intentions.




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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Keeping the Creative Muscles Toned

From the blog of guitarist and composer Dan Cosley:

"It's important to sight-read some music everyday. We can too easily get bogged down in the minutiae of the works we are preparing for performance. But sight-reading opens a window to a different kind of experience, reinforcing basic musicianship skills which can atrophy if left unattended. Most guitarists are terrible readers but can improve greatly with a daily dose of sight-reading. It's also a great way to explore the vast repertoire which is playable on the guitar. Bach's solo violin works are often on my music stand for this purpose."

What's the equivalent of this practice for your art?


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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Seeking Applicants...

The job notice I saw is for someone who is a "JavaScript Wizard." Not me. But this part of the position's description is a noble ideal for any of us:

"• Pride in your work and a passion for breaking new ground.

• Deep knowledge of existing solutions in your domain, the willingness to utilize the ones that are appropriate, and the courage to create new solutions where the old ones won’t do.

• Attention to detail, ability to collaborate and communicate clearly, and the willingness to offer alternative opinions.

• Commitment to delivering work as promised, and ability to perform against demanding deadlines.

• Extra credit: Passion...."




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Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Late-Night Heroics

I emailed off materials for a grant application last night at 1:14 a.m.--then started the 40 minute drive from my office home. I'd started the last bout of working on this project at almost 3 in the afternoon and then just kept going. Tense and tired and delighted by the time I was done.

Very exciting evening. I love the faux heroics of a rush like that.

Some years back, Prince Charles and some folks here in the city of Raleigh started an altruistic project--Operation Raleigh-- involving a sailing ship with a global do-good itinerary. He said that it gave people the chance for peacetime heroism, adventure with a purpose.

A very useful idea (and it's still going). Because we all seem to have some need for our own style of derring-do. Best that it be channeled into a useful purpose, so we're not going around starting wars or jumping out of planes for no good reason.



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Monday, March 03, 2008

Creative Courage Under the Weather

Hard to be bold
When one has a cold.



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Sunday, March 02, 2008

A Huge Goal

Working (playing) in my garden this afternoon, I had this thought: what if I decided to get into my best possible condition by the time I turn 60 next January 8?
Physically, mentally, and most important, in appearance. This would involve more vegetables, more exercise, no caffeine, and two or three other tricky things. I don't know. I continue to ponder. Could be it would just be a narcissistic waste of time. On the other hand, I might live longer. And other nice rewards. If I do it, I'll be gathering a group of like-goaled people. Don't want to attempt this one alone.


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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Self-Exploration

From environmentalist John Muir:

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”

This quote is from a post on Courage to Create blog encouraging us to spend more time outdoors.

Out of context, I find another meaning in it as well. Muir's thought about going out or going in reminds me that I learn more about myself by going out among people than I do in solitary contemplation.

I do find meditation tremendously valuable, for calm, for allowing ideas to emerge, and as a religious practice.

However, to learn more about myself, there's nothing like a conversation with a client, clerk, husband or friend, about what I can or can't do for them, and what I want or don't want from them, to show me who I am.

Sometimes this "going out" takes more gumption than it might seem. I think that's true for a lot of us.



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Friday, February 29, 2008

"Inspiring Innovation"

The library nearest my house has a magazine swap pile. Bring your old magazines, if you want to. Take anything you like, whether you've brought any or not. What a treasure! I love digging through that pile, and I find some delightful items.

Most recent great discovery: a 2002 Harvard Business Review full of lots of good advice for artists.

It was written for business people to help make their companies more creative. That fits us very well, I think.

The issue pulls together short articles by some business innovators. The titles alone create a nice little creativity coda:

Make It The Norm--from a fellow at Procter & Gamble, who says creativity is "the everyday task of making nonobvious connections"

Put Aside Ego--try looking through someone else's eyes

Mix People Up--for the solo artists, we're the people in question, who need to try doing things differently

Don't Fear Failure--it's a necessary and useful part of the process

Abandon the Crowd--do your own thing

Fight Negativity--it takes strong conviction to stay on your own road

Ask "What If?"

Merge Patience and Passion

Experiment Like Crazy

Don't Innovate, Solve Problems.


The list is from a six year-old copy of a magazine, but the ideas are still pretty good.






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Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Long-Running Writing Group

On Thursday afternoons, I meet with my writing group, led by novelist Laurel Goldman. I've been in this group a few months shy of 25 years. As you might imagine, the conversation has strayed from writing a time or two. Also, we have tea afterwards at the Whole Foods grocery across the street from Laurel's office.

In a writing group, there's a higher value placed on total honesty than in other relationships. I want to know any possible negative a reader could come up with about what I've written, so that I can decide how I want to deal with it.

For one of the group to have a critical thought and hold it back would be malpractice.

In marriages and other relationships, total revelation of every negative thought is not required or even desirable, at least by me.

Yet I find that having a group of friends/colleagues with an agreement for full response--positives and negatives--is extremely interesting. And it's excellent practice in being diplomatic and unsparingly direct at the same time. We don't necessarily practice this skill in our commentaries on each other's personal lives, but the habit does persist and we're pretty damn forthcoming in all our talks.

It's one of the great things in my life, this ongoing conversation. I wonder if at the end of my life, I'll look back and think that the group was the point as much as the books were.


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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Brainstorming: A Brilliant Energy Source

I've just come from an hour of batting ideas around at the N.C. Arts Council.

Brainstorming, as you no doubt know, is a group experience of coming up with ideas, good and bad, wild and tame, without any immediate judgment on whether they're feasible or appropriate or exactly right. All those questions are saved for later. In the brainstorming moment, no ideas are rejected, all are welcome, and people build on each other's suggestions.

Not only did we produce some good usable ideas and a rough plan of action, we got me very charged up with enthusiasm for my work now that I'm back at my desk.

The hour enlarged my sense of possibilities, which is always a good idea.


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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Adrenaline Junkie?

Busy, busy day and it's not over--though it's time for a bite of dinner.

I keep reading that working under pressure isn't good for creativity and that multitasking makes us stupid.

This conventional wisdom about multitasking is probably true for me. But I find that working fast sometimes allows me to see the big picture much more clearly than I do when I'm sunk down into the material and paddling slowly.

Plus, the speed and the time crunch are bracing, a source of inspiration in themselves.

The moral of the post is: better that we each observe how we work best, rather than accepting these ideas unexamined.



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Monday, February 25, 2008

Post-Oscar Courage

Watching the Oscars--an event slightly more important to me than Christmas--always seems like a glimpse at the future fruits of my labors. And thus is very exciting.

This is no doubt a massive delusion. But such things are useful.

And there is a real motivating, booster-rocket push from seeing all those beautifully turned-out folks winning and celebrating.

Every one of those people has fought a tough fight to get where they are. Some reminders that turned up last night on stage or on the red carpet:

*Reese Witherspoon going to auditions and being told: "you're too short, you're too this, you're too that, please don't come back."

*Ben Affleck and Matt Damon working for five years on their breakthrough script Good Will Hunting

*Forrest Whittaker coming from a gang-world neighborhood of south central L.A., without the advantage of traditional leading-man looks

And the final dollop of inspiration: the pair who made the movie Once in three weeks with two little cameras and $100,000, then took home an Oscar last night, one of them exhorting the world to "make art! make art!"

So I start again this Monday morning enlivened.


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Saturday, February 23, 2008

Improve-Your-Creativity Resources to Explore

Here are a few improve-your-creativity products that have come across my screen lately. I haven't tried any of them, so can't endorse. If any of you do, please let us all know here. And if you have any such resources that have worked well for you--please don't hold back.

(BTW, that Confidence Club CD that I posted about some months ago is working like gangbusters for me. Now instead of getting up my nerve to broach a difficult subject, I find the conversation is three-quarters over before I'm aware I already launched it. And this is working a lot better than the old hesitant overly-considered approach.)

Anyway, here are the new items:

Unstoppable Creativity, a CD, $8



Creativity Workshops in Crete, Prague, Florence and DublinWorkshops in New York: $750, tuition only.
Workshops in Europe from $1,850 including tuition and housing.

"...Uses Writing, Drawing, Storytelling, and Memoir as tools to explore and develop creativity. The Workshop is designed to help you find new sources of inspiration, break through creative blocks,take pleasure in your imagination, give yourself the permission, time,and encouragement to do creative work, and develop a daily practice to accomplish these goals. ... We teach from the point of view that people are by nature creative and that creativity, like DNA, is different in each individual."



Conquering the fear of writing , a one-day program you can do at home.

Please remember, we'd welcome any news of your results if you try any of these out.



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Friday, February 22, 2008

MadArt

Give yourself a few minutes of what creativity guru Julia Cameron calls an "artist date" and visit MadArt, the wildly imaginative work of Madelyn Smoak.

She makes jewelry that includes seriously whimsical crowns and "art dolls" with names like Queen of the Night Forest and Grand Duchess of the Noxious Weeds. One of her crowns, an homage to fellow artist Louis St. Lewis, drew comments that were themselves pretty interesting; two examples,
"AAAAAAAAAAmMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAZZZZ......ING" and "I genuflect, I genuflect!"

Her take on more conventional forms of jewelry is available now at Etsy.



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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Rage to Create

"Rollo May, in his landmark study on creativity, The Courage To Create, gave a word to the central driving force of an artist's creativity: rage. Not inquisitiveness; not friendly upbeatness; not sociability; not cooperativeness; not outgoing personality; not charm; not professionalism. Rage. Now, he meant it not so much in a conventional sense, but as a creative fire. There is a direct connection between intense passion and creative brilliance."

from a website on video games and game design. Grassroots Gamemaster





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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A Dose of Courage

For my husband's birthday, we went to hear a double-feature concert at Duke of soul and gospel singer Mavis Staples, and The Blind Boys of Alabama, an African-American men's group formed at the Alabama Institute for the Negro Blind in 1939.

Staples, from a family of musical activists, sang songs from the Civil Rights Movement. This music helped people keep marching. It's a rousing reminder of a long, long struggle.

A suggestion: For artists engaged in a long, long effort to bring work into the world, these songs can re-energize, refresh hopes, and put difficulties into perspective.

Try listening to a cut of Staples' We'll Never Turn Back, produced by guitarist Ry Cooder and featuring backing from the original Freedom Singers and Ladysmith Black Mambazo It certainly refueled my engines.



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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Keep Going No Matter What!

Being a person of a certain age--as well as a seeker of stories--I'm an obit junkie.

Recently I read an obit in my local paper that I found particularly inspiring. Marjorie Anne Klenin, a physicist, lived with admirable flair. In addition to her distinguished career in Germany and the U.S., she was an accomplished pianist.

"Her friends considered her a true 'woman of the world.' Her tastes in art music, clothing, and food were always eclectic, unique and impeccable.

"...Her admonition about playing four-hand Schubert: 'Keep going no matter what!' was a lesson she appplied throughout her life.

Marjorie was always eager to make new discoveries and experience new adventures. When asked, 'What vodka is best, Polish or Russian?' she would resolutely answer 'Polish!' and proceed to tell of how she learned this fact while on a ship in the North Atlantic with an all-Polish crew. They sailed in bad weather--and being the only passenger who did not get seasick--she had the opportunity to spend the entire trip sampling vodka with the crew. This is how we choose to remember Marjorie--vibrant, laughing, and embarking on another unexpected new adventure."



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Monday, February 18, 2008

Inspiring Rites

This weekend, a wedding and a funeral at the same time. I went to one and husband Bob went to the other, each of us carrying the good wishes of the other spouse.

The friend who got married is 65. The friend who died was 44.

I took a lesson from this. Two, in fact. One: it's never too late. Two: don't delay.



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Friday, February 15, 2008

Increase Creativity: A List of Ways

Shanna Swendson, author of Enchanted, Inc. (Book one is Hex and the City)offers a fine list of "Creativity Boosters."

She adds the excellent advice to use these techniques only as boosters, not as ways to procrastinate about writing.




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Help with Book Marketing

Book Candy Studios is a new company that's doing beautiful "movie preview" style ad spots for online marketing of books. Fees range from $350 to $1500+. I haven't worked with them, but am very impressed with their sample trailers.

Getting someone else to help with promotion is one way to make easier the process of tooting your own horn.

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Ten-Second Meditative Moment

Here's a cool, calming and confidence-inducing trick. I found it in a book I put on my list of ideas for my husband of what I'd like to get for Christmas: Kundalini Yoga Meditation: Techniques Specific for Psychiatric Disorders, Couples Therapy, and Personal Growth by David S. Shannahoff-Khalsa. This may not seem like a good stocking item, but it has good stuff in it.

This technique is one piece of a long and complicated meditation for dealing with obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's also for use in sticky moments during the day, when one might tend to tense-up. Particularly useful because it doesn't show.

All you do is take a deep breath and hold it for about three seconds, just long enough to think the syllables, vic-to-ry, then let the breath go. I do it two or three times, especially when I catch myself in any nervous habit. This creates a mini-break, slows mounting agitation, and is a nicely affirming message. (Vic-to-ry, BTW, is ideally not victory over other folks involved.)


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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Getting Rid of a Phobia

It's not too strong to say that I've had a lifelong phobia about taking care of kids. (see previous two posts)

Well, I think it's busted. And after only two nights with three children, my admirable youngest nephews..

Harley, the oldest at twelve, says that it wasn't baby-sitting anyway, it's pre-teen caregiving.

Even so, the experience involved giving out doses of flu medicine, and being judged competent by five year old Franklin to shampoo his hair.

It went well. I did okay, even though the mother-on-duty at the carpool line at the elementary school found mysterious reasons to laugh at me every day.

Now I'm surprised and relieved and short of sleep. And it's Valentine's Day. An excellent day to leave social phobias behind.



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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Anticipatory Anxiety Was the Hard Part

Bottom line: spending last night with the three young nephews went well. (See previous post for my irrational fears about this.)

All three boys were fun and good company, and the older two told me everything that needed doing. And my husband Bob arrived mid-evening in time to go out chasing Dash, the hound I accidentally let out.

Pizza and American Idol, with our living room reviews of each performance, kept everybody happy.

In fact, with the exception of driving and the security of having an adult around, I think Harley (12) and Tucker (9) could take care of themselves and their five-year-old brother just fine.

I did flub a few things. I thought we could walk out and get in the car and that would take maybe one minute. Wrong. It was more like moving troops and Tucker was worried that I was going to make him late. Also, I left the trash can in reach of the two hounds and they spread garbage all over the breakfast room floor. But nothing serious went wrong.

And so a major barrier crossed--my being responsible, even briefly, for children. Tonight, lasagne, making sure Tucker's school project is done, and perhaps being a little more relaxed.


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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Fear of Baby-Sitting

Kids scare me more than almost anything. What's troubling is the idea of being responsible for one or more, the trapped feeling of not being able to look away. This is no doubt a function of my touch of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which focuses on the fear of doing harm.

Tonight and tomorrow night, my husband and I are staying with my younger three nephews, ranging from age 5 to 12. They're lovely boys, every one.

Still... This is my vulnerable area, and I'll be there for at least two hours before Bob arrives. Intellectually I know it'll all be fine.

However, it still feels huge. Risky. Unsettling.

It's clear to me that one thing I need to do is give myself credit for doing it at all. Another is to let this remind me to have sympathy for people whose fears I don't share: of flying or public speaking or traveling alone.

I'll let you know how tonight goes. I expect that once I get there it will be fine.



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Monday, February 11, 2008

Characters Behaving Badly

From Digital Digressions: Debunking Popular Myths about Creativity:

"Creativity...involves making the familiar strange and the strange familiar."

In writing my novels, I seem to specialize in making the strange familiar. I like taking difficult characters, sometimes behaving badly, and making them clear enough that anyone can understand why they act the way they do.

In my writing, I want to make it possible to identify with anyone. Partly because it's a challenge. Partly because I'm curious about why people surprise me the way they do.


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Friday, February 08, 2008

Getting Results

We've talked in some recent posts about having a theme for the year. Here's an example that seems to be working for Kay Summerlin in California:


"My goal this year has been to FOCUS. I have attention deficit and
am easily diverted with my short attention span, so focusing helps me
stay on track. Dave built me a large bulletin board which covers a two
foot wide swath across my study wall, where I can place pictures,
words and notes about my studies. It seems to be working to remind me
of my quest. I have always tried to do too many things at once and
find that my research gets watered down when I don't keep at it."


Keeping one idea in mind, such as focus, or fitness, or productivity, through all the small decisions of a day can mount up to a big difference.





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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Check Your V.I.T.A.L.S.

How Do You Do Something That You Don't Want to Do? Check your V.I.T.A.L.S.

V.
Validate-validate your feelings, the "I don't want to...", there is a real reason for how you feel.

I.
Imagine-imagine yourself doing it peacefully and productively.

T.
Take Small Steps-break down the project into bite-size pieces.

A.
Applaud yourself- encourage your efforts, cheerlead, and coach (e.g., enjoy the feeling of making progress on the project.)

L.
Lighten the load- remember what you are getting out of by doing this (e.g., reducing guilt, shame, or anxiety; avoiding the negative consequences....)

S.
Sweeten the pot -add something during or after that you like, reward your efforts (e.g., enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.)



Used with permission of Meggan Moorhead and Triangle Area D.B.T.



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Three Inspiring Opportunities

1. Learn to use self-hypnosis for putting aside fears and enhancing creativity. My psychologist husband Bob Dick is offering a one-day class at our house in rural Chatham County,NC, on February 22.

2. Writing with Horses: Finding Forward Motion in your Writing will be led by novelist/psychotherapist/
horsewoman Billie Hinton on March 1 and 22, also in Chatham County.

3. For those who can't get to North Carolina in the coming weeks (and the rest of us),Coach Laura Neff of Charlotte invites all to take part in a Living Boldly call-in discussion.

I highly recommend all three of these.


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Wednesday, February 06, 2008

A Message from the Universe

"Let us dare to read, think, speak and write."
John Adams, 1765

This quote was printed on the receipt I got for buying stamps at the Post Office (I still use them.) Most unexpected to find this bit of encouragement in that location.

I have another such object in my office: a wrapper from a Delta Airlines snack. It says in large cobalt blue type: "enjoy!" I keep it tucked into my box of manuscripts to read for clients.

Both items are now part of my rotating collection of found wisdom. For me, running across one of these little reminders can produce a small burst of energy, approximately equivalent to the impact of an M&M. And that's significant.


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