Back to Maslow, Self-Actualizing

Two courage quotes from Abraham Maslow on the power of confidence:

"The history of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short."

"We fear to know the fearsome and the unsavory aspects of ourselves but we fear ever more to know the godlike in ourselves."

Advice for the day: Don't Punt. Take a Look at the Godlike in Yourself.

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Following Bliss--Down the Highway

Driving to work one day this week, I found myself following the most delightful "trailer" I ever saw.

My cellphone photography while driving on Interstate doesn't do it justice, but maybe you get the idea. It's about the size of a large pup tent, has potted plants on either side of the door and a lace curtain at the window. Likely inside there's a nice little library, a couple of reading chairs that convert to a bed, chocolate, and hot water for tea.

It's not every day you see an Alice-in-Wonderland cottage rolling down the road. Just think of all the interesting things we could see rolling down the road if we got a bit outside the norms.

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Part of Self-Actualizing is Tossing Extraneous Stuff

Sitting in my husband's office, I'm keeping him company while he embarks on a massive and daunting cleanup.

His style is to have books and papers and interesting objets strewn everywhere. And that has its charm, but lately the expression of this style has gotten a tad out of hand. There's a finite amount of floor space, after all. It's an office for psychotherapy, not an Office Max.

I'm impressed that he's plunging in. Especially on a Sunday afternoon. It takes a surprising amount of spunkiness to pick a part of a mess and start organizing. Very easy to instead sink into reading some stray item, or do some other pressing errand "first."

Just told him I was blogging on this subject. He was so deep into the sorting that his upcoming fame wasn't of great interest, though he absent-mindedly assured me he didn't mind. A good sign. Makes me want to clean something up too.

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Bold Living: A Lesson from the Recession

A curious little discovery. Being a writer and so far not a bestselling one, I usually earn less than friends who are not in the arts. My car rolled off the line in '92, etc. I never thought that embarrassed me at all. It's merely a cost of my calling in life, and most of the time worth the trade.

But during this past year of recession with almost everyone economizing, I've discovered that other people's scrimping feels very companionable to me. For one thing, I notice that I now compare notes with friends on the subject more than I used to.

So maybe the social aspect of my miserliness did bother me, changing my behavior in ways I wasn't aware of. It's interesting to find I was unsettled by something without knowing it -- and unconsciously restricting myself. Now I'm wondering what else might be working on me that way, without my knowing it.

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The Pleasant Oddness of a Geographical Passion

One of my office partners has gone to South Africa for three weeks. She's teaching, studying, and helping to organize an event. She has long wanted to go there and has been working on arranging it for years. I'm not sure why that was the spot in all the world.

Why are some Americans Anglophiles and some Francophiles? Why did I become obsessed with India? These are not purely rhetorical questions. I do wonder what in my personality or background or DNA pointed me to South Asia, produced in me an Indomania. But much more important than ever figuring out why is following bliss in whatever directions it points, in figuring out how to get there and what needs to be made of the experience.


South Africa - Music Legends - Ladysmith Black Mambazo

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Another Self-Actualizing, Pump-Up Technique

A variation on yesterday's idea: for moments when you need encouragement, keep a file in your desk drawer of nice notes or reviews or even a letter from your mother that reminds you that you're dazzling and your work is important and worthwhile.

--This idea came from psychologist husband Bob.

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A Self-Actualizing, Pump-Up Technique

What I've discovered from writing the fellowship application I was blogging about yesterday:

Affirmations work. Or they can at least stoke the passions and build confidence.

You know what I mean by affirmations, yes? The empowering sayings we're encouraged to repeat to ourselves, such as: I am a calm and capable person. I am a person who doesn't even like sugar and caffeine.

I've never much been into repeating those items. I meditate and I blog and I exercise and do my work and that's all the discipline and structure I can stand.

Plus a screenwriter pal of mine once had an affirmations false alarm. She told me that repeating her declarations were giving her an amazing feeling of peace. But then the screenwriters' strike ended and she discovered that the peace was coming not from affirmations but instead from not listening for the phone. She quickly returned to amazing frazzlement.

However, I've spent the afternoon carefully wording my Career Narrative, which is every good thing I've done professionally in my life, and that amounts to a two-page affirmation. I have succeeded in dazzling myself. I am now so full of beans that it's just a shame it's the end of the day and time to quit and go home. (When I woke this morning, I was distinctly not-so-dazzled by me.

But now I know how a quick pump-up is done. Seriously. If I want to take charge, beat procrastination, make a step toward bold living, I could write down some good things I've actually done. These, I'm happy to say, do not include steering clear of sugar and caffeine.

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