Showing posts with label courage and fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage and fear. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Big Courage and Little Courage

My friend with an ovarian tumor had surgery yesterday, and the news was: BENIGN.

What a huge relief, and wash of gratitude.

It occurred to me that in the challenges in life that require the most courage, we have no choice but to proceed.

It's with the easier stuff--hang-gliding, public speaking, returning tricky phone calls--that we have a choice and can get wobbly. Maybe we should remember that when it comes to courage: we're all marathoners. That very recognition could make the easier stuff easier.





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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why We Should Celebrate Failures

From Success Magazine this month:

"When is the last time you rewarded yourself for failing? Probably never. Instead of mentally punishing yourself for not succeeding, buy yourself an ice cream cone and say, 'Great job! I'm one step closer to success!" On the surface this sounds silly, but celebrating failure is one of the best ways to stop letting no have a negative hold on your thoughts and emotions."

--from "YES Is The Destination; NO Is How You Get There" by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz



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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Baby Blue Courage

A young couple who live down the other fork of my dirt road had a baby a few weeks ago. Their first one died in infancy a couple of years ago and it was very, very hard. I'm so proud of them and their courage for starting again.

They have one huge celebratory blue bow on their mailbox in the otherwise nondescript row of boxes out by the main road. Possibly the biggest and perkiest looking baby bow I've ever seen.



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Monday, October 12, 2009

Boldness in Crisis

I'm watching a friend go through a crisis and handle it in a manner that is thoughtful and purposeful and yet emotionally in touch.

This same friend gets into a fury if she misplaces her sunglasses.

I'm impressed. And I'm also encouraged by the thought that real trouble may call up resources we didn't know we had. I happen to get unhinged if my email doesn't do right. And I hate to think about a proportionate response to a crisis that's many times larger.

Maybe we expend our furies safely on the little stuff and haul out our best in the face of the most daunting.




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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Looking for Meaning

A buddy got some worrisome news. And now has the anxiety of waiting for more info.

Maybe the worrisome-news category of events exists to put things like email problems into perspective, for all concerned.

However, I can easily conceive of a universe in which there's never a bad biopsy and no vexing computer problems either. That would do a lot for my perspective.

I guess the bold thing, though, is to "get" in a gut way the fact that that universe isn't the one we currently have. And then figure out how to manage, moment by moment, as gracefully as possible in the one we do have.



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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Gardening Guilt

After a summer of neglect, my flower garden was full of reproach when I started a bit of weeding this afternoon. It's just too hot here to enjoy such activities in summer, plus I'd rather be on the water then. (Or lounging in the AC reading a novel.)

So I expect a garden to look after itself during the hot months. And what I encountered this afternoon was: bugs and blight and drought-damaged plants and the creeping trails made by moles and voles. Plus, some flowers. I would like to be able to focus on those flowers--and the oranges on the mock-orange. But it's hard not to berate oneself while standing knee-deep in weeds, dead stalks, and the accusing survivors.

It's a hobby, I tell myself, not a moral obligation.

Also, I'm convinced that the only true waste of time is berating one's self--or others, for that matter. But it's very hard to stop.

So I kept weeding and pruning. Didn't yield to the impulse to simply toss the clippers and give it up. I give myself credit for that.

This is one more example of a garden as teacher and provocateur. I've always liked the saying: if someone wants to rule the world, let them first cultivate a little plot of land. It's humbling.

My bold goal becomes simply to keep going, to fix what I can.





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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Bold Living by Default

A friend with a martial arts testing this weekend is dealing with a stiff back. It would be possible for him to get the test put off.

Here's what he says about that possibility: "My default setting is to 'go for it.' The back would have to be really bad for me to ask for a postponement."

I love that attitude. And I wonder what my own "default settings" are. This is probably what is meant by the hidden assumptions that I'm told we build our lives on. I'd like to be able to go into my "control panel" and see exactly what mine are. Some of them are likely of the earth-is-flat variety, an idea that shouldn't be running my life.

I asked my brother Franc once about how he came to his characteristic upbeatness. I was wanting instructions. He thought for a long moment and said, "It's an unconscious decision."

We usually only see the evidence of our unconscious decisions. Takes some work in the dark to find out what they are.

I do know that one of mine that has been hard to change is: "I am not allowed to screw up." That idea still has weird power, in spite of my various screwups over sixty years.

I'd like to figure out how to attach that mysterious power to the belief of my choice. I want one of my default positions to be: No second-guessing of myself, no pointless rehashing. There'd be nothing else to do then but "go for it."





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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

Fumbling Confidence

Just noted a new "follower" of this blog named FumblingConfidence. The name grabbed me. Anybody who admits to fumbling with confidence has a fair amount, as well as courage.

And then I went to her blog, and discovered that, yes, her views are clear and bold. It takes some spunkiness to admit to less than total confidence, which is what most of us have, at least some of the time.

On a related subject: I only in recent days posted the "following" list so that it's visible on my blog. One, I hadn't figured out how. Two, the number looked so embarrassingly low, and not a fair representation of the actual amount of activity.

Well, I got pushed into the pool by a blog-helper who in the process of solving another problem for me, posted the group. And since then, the number has almost doubled. Still not exactly a crowd, but persuasive evidence of the power of going public.

If you'd like to get your own picture here, scroll down a bit and look to the left where you will see a link that says Follow and click on it. I'd be delighted to see you here.





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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Part of Self-Actualizing is Tossing Extraneous Stuff

Sitting in my husband's office, I'm keeping him company while he embarks on a massive and daunting cleanup.

His style is to have books and papers and interesting objets strewn everywhere. And that has its charm, but lately the expression of this style has gotten a tad out of hand. There's a finite amount of floor space, after all. It's an office for psychotherapy, not an Office Max.

I'm impressed that he's plunging in. Especially on a Sunday afternoon. It takes a surprising amount of spunkiness to pick a part of a mess and start organizing. Very easy to instead sink into reading some stray item, or do some other pressing errand "first."

Just told him I was blogging on this subject. He was so deep into the sorting that his upcoming fame wasn't of great interest, though he absent-mindedly assured me he didn't mind. A good sign. Makes me want to clean something up too.



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Friday, September 18, 2009

Bold Living: "Nice 67 Y.O. male has brush with mortality."

You must go to Salon.com and read Garrison Keillor's story about having a stroke.

It is GK at his best, which is very very good.

And he makes this brush with death charming and funny, as well as, with a deft hand, profound and an argument for political action.

Tough to do under any circumstances. But even faced with bouquets of carnations and admitted uneasiness, he followed his calling in life and did what GK does.

A splendid example of courage and fear. Funny as hell too.

Glad you're OK, GK. And I'm glad you're not retiring.



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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Chronic Bold Living

Email trouble is like running into a large spider web in the dark. Can't quite see what has hold of me.

And it still has hold of me. I hope to have my new address sent out to my whole list soon. But if you were expecting to hear from me and didn't. Please send again.

Dealing with mysterious computer problems gives me a lot of respect for people dealing with mysterious illnesses. It has to take a lot of courage: long-term boldness, which doesn't get all the credit it deserves.



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