From Maureen Keyte of the Spirited Woman.
Friday, June 19, 2009
A Hidden Cost of Chickening Out
"The fascinating thing about self-sabotaging behavior is that it actually takes an enormous amount of energy and mental stress, much more than if you just took the action you wanted or needed to do in the first place. The mental stress of feeling behind or beating yourself up for how a situation in your life could have been better is a lot more work than moving forward with your original plan of action."
From Maureen Keyte of the Spirited Woman.
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From Maureen Keyte of the Spirited Woman.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
How to Stand Waiting for News
A curious thing about waiting: some research I read recently said that people who've recently learned they have cancer are in better shape emotionally and show less physiological sign of stress than those who are waiting to hear their biopsy results.
So when waiting is wearing us down, here's a bold thought: there's no reason to fear, because we're already going through the worst of it. Getting the news, whatever it is, will provide some relief.
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So when waiting is wearing us down, here's a bold thought: there's no reason to fear, because we're already going through the worst of it. Getting the news, whatever it is, will provide some relief.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Hair Grows Back: Help with Decision-Making
Just got my every-six-weeks-or-so trim and it made me think of the hesitation many of us have about making radical recreational hair changes.
For decades, I had long straight hair. It was a sort of signature. After a couple of years thinking about it, I got it cut to chin-length; and this was before advancing age might have inspired me to make this move.
One of my buddies kept saying to me back then: "It's just hair. It'll grow back."
This morning I started wondering how many decisions I ponder lengthily actually fall into the no-big-deal-it's-only-hair category, which is to say: have fairly brief consequences even if the choice goes bad.
I remember torment over deciding whether to take another year of French in ninth grade. Definitely a haircut decision. I've seen people go into stall mode over which book to write next. One of the books would have been well underway in the time spent deciding.
On the other hand, my choice of colleges ultimately affected where I would live and who I would marry, among other things.
It's almost never possible to have all the data for a decision.
One small test is to ask: is it just hair? will it grow back?
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For decades, I had long straight hair. It was a sort of signature. After a couple of years thinking about it, I got it cut to chin-length; and this was before advancing age might have inspired me to make this move.
One of my buddies kept saying to me back then: "It's just hair. It'll grow back."
This morning I started wondering how many decisions I ponder lengthily actually fall into the no-big-deal-it's-only-hair category, which is to say: have fairly brief consequences even if the choice goes bad.
I remember torment over deciding whether to take another year of French in ninth grade. Definitely a haircut decision. I've seen people go into stall mode over which book to write next. One of the books would have been well underway in the time spent deciding.
On the other hand, my choice of colleges ultimately affected where I would live and who I would marry, among other things.
It's almost never possible to have all the data for a decision.
One small test is to ask: is it just hair? will it grow back?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Marketing Art
Bold self-expression can be even more satisfying when you're able to make a living at it: that way you can do it full-time, and get it out into the world.
Jackie Battenfield is an expert on how visual artists can do that. Writers and other artists can learn from her as well; I've attended a couple of her classes and found her thinking inspiring and her suggestions specific and useful--and applicable to what I'm doing as a writer.
Now she has a book out: The Artist's Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love. She knows what she's writing about. She has been a self-supporting painter for over 20 years, and launched her career visiting Washington galleries with newborn in tow.
You might also have a look at Jackie Battenfield's art. I particularly like her Water Series.
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Jackie Battenfield is an expert on how visual artists can do that. Writers and other artists can learn from her as well; I've attended a couple of her classes and found her thinking inspiring and her suggestions specific and useful--and applicable to what I'm doing as a writer.
Now she has a book out: The Artist's Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love. She knows what she's writing about. She has been a self-supporting painter for over 20 years, and launched her career visiting Washington galleries with newborn in tow.
You might also have a look at Jackie Battenfield's art. I particularly like her Water Series.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Bold Proposition
I just made a daring offer to an eminent institution of higher learning. I won't burden you with the details just now. But I'm feeling very pleased with my ingenuity, resourcefulness, and daring. There's satisfaction in coming up with and presenting a bold idea, whether it works out or not.
I remember when I was an undergrad at Duke, I wrote a letter to the local Durham Herald, offering to write editorials for them for $10 apiece. I pointed out that during my summer as an intern at Star-News in my hometown of Wilmington, I'd written editorials and received a $5 bonus for each one that was published; and they'd published a stack of them, including my wisdom on the Kennedy-Kopechne-Chappaquiddick situation. (I was against it.)
The Durham editor didn't take me up on my offer, but wrote me a most charming letter. Now the head of that paper is a guy who graduated in my class and started work at the same time I did at The Raleigh Times. A lot of newspapers have rolled out between then and now. I still cherish the memory of that offer I made back then, as much as I do other little adventures that did work out.
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I remember when I was an undergrad at Duke, I wrote a letter to the local Durham Herald, offering to write editorials for them for $10 apiece. I pointed out that during my summer as an intern at Star-News in my hometown of Wilmington, I'd written editorials and received a $5 bonus for each one that was published; and they'd published a stack of them, including my wisdom on the Kennedy-Kopechne-Chappaquiddick situation. (I was against it.)
The Durham editor didn't take me up on my offer, but wrote me a most charming letter. Now the head of that paper is a guy who graduated in my class and started work at the same time I did at The Raleigh Times. A lot of newspapers have rolled out between then and now. I still cherish the memory of that offer I made back then, as much as I do other little adventures that did work out.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Dare to Unwind: It's a Summery Thing to Do
From the Daily Om, "Tied in Knots":
"We don’t have to tie ourselves in knots. Instead, we can let the ribbons of our energy unfurl to gracefully direct us...."
I think that probably means: go swimming. Which I did in the ocean at Wrightsville Beach, NC, on Saturday. Bright sun, low tide with big waves breaking close to shore and a current running parallel with the beach. Briefly chilly, then blissful, with wonderful ocean sand underfoot. I could feel my ribbons of energy unfurling....
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"We don’t have to tie ourselves in knots. Instead, we can let the ribbons of our energy unfurl to gracefully direct us...."
I think that probably means: go swimming. Which I did in the ocean at Wrightsville Beach, NC, on Saturday. Bright sun, low tide with big waves breaking close to shore and a current running parallel with the beach. Briefly chilly, then blissful, with wonderful ocean sand underfoot. I could feel my ribbons of energy unfurling....
A Morning Sabbatical
Self-employment is supposed to offer the advantage of setting one's own hours. In practice, most of us work a lot more hours than we would on a job.
This morning, however, I went hog-wild; stayed home and picked up around the house and did a summer's worth of ironing, etc. You might not view that as the boldest move; but boldness is relative. For me, it was an adventure. And I'm now feeling quite satisfied and accomplished.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
A Technique for Freeing the Imagination
This is a rerun of a guest post I did a while back for Mystic-Lit:
Writing or practice of any art form—or, for that matter, any kind of problem-solving—relies heavily on one intermediate skill: Greasing the Elements.
I realized this while doing the Word Jumbles in my local News & Observer. As you probably know, these puzzles are scrambled letters that must be unscrambled to make a word.
The hardest way to do a Word Jumble is to sit and think hard in a methodical way. That is finally effective and so it’s my fallback strategy, but it’s the slow laborious route: the number 3 way.
The quickest method (number 1) is when the word magically leaps out of the jumble at first glance. That works with both art and word puzzles. The answer simply appears. With fiction, these pop-up ideas usually pop out of prepared ground: I’ve worked on the scene, then put it aside and done something physical like driving or gardening, organizing objects or taking a shower. Then the ideas burst forth.
But of course that doesn’t always happen. So there’s number 2, the middle way, the Greasy Elements method, halfway between magic and hard labor. Using this technique with a Word Jumble, I view the five or six letters as big detached forms, each about six feet high. Pale green and translucent, as it happens, but that’s not so important. What’s important is that they’re slippery and wobbly. They slip and slide all over each other until they come to rest in the right order. Takes a minute longer than magic but is faster and more effective than say trying out each letter as Letter One and so on….
So in writing fiction, it works the same way. Let the elements of a scene—the people and place and circumstances slip and slide all over each other until they click into place on the page.
Remember the movie Apollo 13? Tom Hanks and crew were up in the spacecraft and something went wrong, and he radioed in an unforgettable tone of totally-controlled emotion: “Houston, we have a problem.”
What happened then on the ground was that the head guy threw together in a pile all the physical elements that the astronauts had available to them in their cabin. Engineers gathered around that pile of stuff and started fitting pieces together in different combos. They pulled together the gizmo that was needed and just in the nick of time, and were able to tell the characters in the air what to do.
That’s how it works with objects. With words and ideas, it’s the same: you throw the elements in a heap and see how things act on each other and combine and recombine. It's amazing what energy they carry.
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Writing or practice of any art form—or, for that matter, any kind of problem-solving—relies heavily on one intermediate skill: Greasing the Elements.
I realized this while doing the Word Jumbles in my local News & Observer. As you probably know, these puzzles are scrambled letters that must be unscrambled to make a word.
The hardest way to do a Word Jumble is to sit and think hard in a methodical way. That is finally effective and so it’s my fallback strategy, but it’s the slow laborious route: the number 3 way.
The quickest method (number 1) is when the word magically leaps out of the jumble at first glance. That works with both art and word puzzles. The answer simply appears. With fiction, these pop-up ideas usually pop out of prepared ground: I’ve worked on the scene, then put it aside and done something physical like driving or gardening, organizing objects or taking a shower. Then the ideas burst forth.
But of course that doesn’t always happen. So there’s number 2, the middle way, the Greasy Elements method, halfway between magic and hard labor. Using this technique with a Word Jumble, I view the five or six letters as big detached forms, each about six feet high. Pale green and translucent, as it happens, but that’s not so important. What’s important is that they’re slippery and wobbly. They slip and slide all over each other until they come to rest in the right order. Takes a minute longer than magic but is faster and more effective than say trying out each letter as Letter One and so on….
So in writing fiction, it works the same way. Let the elements of a scene—the people and place and circumstances slip and slide all over each other until they click into place on the page.
Remember the movie Apollo 13? Tom Hanks and crew were up in the spacecraft and something went wrong, and he radioed in an unforgettable tone of totally-controlled emotion: “Houston, we have a problem.”
What happened then on the ground was that the head guy threw together in a pile all the physical elements that the astronauts had available to them in their cabin. Engineers gathered around that pile of stuff and started fitting pieces together in different combos. They pulled together the gizmo that was needed and just in the nick of time, and were able to tell the characters in the air what to do.
That’s how it works with objects. With words and ideas, it’s the same: you throw the elements in a heap and see how things act on each other and combine and recombine. It's amazing what energy they carry.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Just Do It?
"Just Do It" is a popular piece of advice (as well as a great advertising catch phrase.) And it has value. It can cut through a lot of inner garbage and unnecessary preliminary hurdles.
It's also true that saying "just" does not make a difficult thing into "a snap" that takes no time or effort at all.
I've been counseled to "just get up and ski," as if "just" alone would keep me upright and instantly able to advance beyond snowplow technique, never mind the icy conditions and stinging sleet.
I've been told that all I have to do is "just sit down and write it," when what the guy wanted was for me to turn a talk I'd given into a paper for his journal for free.
I've been advised to just get a fellowship to finish a book. Well, I've managed to get a number of fellowships, and each one has taken quite a few days of work and then months or years of waiting. Sometimes it has taken being rejected a number of times before getting the award. Some plums I've gone after continue to resist me. I've been told in advance that I don't have the proper academic credentials and that my project doesn't match their parameters. Once, after massive effort and long wait, I was put on an a waiting list, but no one dropped out, and so I reapplied and won on my second try the following year. I did finally get there, but it wasn't a matter of "just" filling out a few forms.
Probably you too have been told to just relax, just tell so-and-so what's-what, just stop thinking so much, just get a master's degree, have another baby, and get a grip.
"Just" can cut through the procrastination and rationalizing. After that, it helps to apply strategy, effort, patience, hope, and the courage it sometimes takes to keep going. It helps to know in advance that it's not always "just" a "piece of cake" and easy as pie. It's also important to give ourselves proper credit for our work along the way.
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It's also true that saying "just" does not make a difficult thing into "a snap" that takes no time or effort at all.
I've been counseled to "just get up and ski," as if "just" alone would keep me upright and instantly able to advance beyond snowplow technique, never mind the icy conditions and stinging sleet.
I've been told that all I have to do is "just sit down and write it," when what the guy wanted was for me to turn a talk I'd given into a paper for his journal for free.
I've been advised to just get a fellowship to finish a book. Well, I've managed to get a number of fellowships, and each one has taken quite a few days of work and then months or years of waiting. Sometimes it has taken being rejected a number of times before getting the award. Some plums I've gone after continue to resist me. I've been told in advance that I don't have the proper academic credentials and that my project doesn't match their parameters. Once, after massive effort and long wait, I was put on an a waiting list, but no one dropped out, and so I reapplied and won on my second try the following year. I did finally get there, but it wasn't a matter of "just" filling out a few forms.
Probably you too have been told to just relax, just tell so-and-so what's-what, just stop thinking so much, just get a master's degree, have another baby, and get a grip.
"Just" can cut through the procrastination and rationalizing. After that, it helps to apply strategy, effort, patience, hope, and the courage it sometimes takes to keep going. It helps to know in advance that it's not always "just" a "piece of cake" and easy as pie. It's also important to give ourselves proper credit for our work along the way.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
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Sunday, June 07, 2009
Point of View
As any writer of fiction knows, a moment can look radically different from each different point of view.
Here's my little-rubber-kayak level point of view of a "flat" lake.
Big paddle.
Tiny sailboat.
Significant-sized waves.
I like this particular viewpoint very much. But any time the view's not good, we likely have some option to stand at a slightly different place.
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Here's my little-rubber-kayak level point of view of a "flat" lake.
Big paddle.
Tiny sailboat.
Significant-sized waves.
I like this particular viewpoint very much. But any time the view's not good, we likely have some option to stand at a slightly different place.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Boldness Is Also in the Details
A great deal of what we do every day can have more meaning and pleasure if we do it in an imaginative, thoughtful, bold way.
Even, for example, a catalog of the most ordinary categories of products can be a delight. Check out the site for the Dutch company Hema. Chill out, breathe, and relax for the few seconds it takes to get rolling.
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Even, for example, a catalog of the most ordinary categories of products can be a delight. Check out the site for the Dutch company Hema. Chill out, breathe, and relax for the few seconds it takes to get rolling.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Bold One-Woman Business Idea
A photographer I know, Artie Dixon, is offering her beautiful second home in the North Carolina mountains for week-long vacations for girlfriends--with tour guide to the sites of the area. So no maps, planning, or GPS is required.
The art-filled 1939 house in Little Switzerland is called Sky Blue, and its stone patio opens onto wide mountain vistas.
Three upcoming weeks have themes: Mountain Crafts, Greek Cooking (Artie's maiden name was Markatos), and Learning Photography. The area also has much to see and do: Penland School of Crafts, riding, hiking, waterfalls, the very groovy town of Asheville, Blue Ridge Parkway, the nearby mountain village.
The house is available for conventional rentals. But planned themed weeks with guide is a new twist. I like the idea and the enterprise involved.
It reminds me of my businessman father who turned his own outgrown tuxedos into a formal wear rental business that eventually wholesaled throughout the Southeast.
The questions to ask oneself in order to do something similar are:
*what do I have?
*what do I know?
*what can I offer?
*what do I have to offer that others need?
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The art-filled 1939 house in Little Switzerland is called Sky Blue, and its stone patio opens onto wide mountain vistas.
Three upcoming weeks have themes: Mountain Crafts, Greek Cooking (Artie's maiden name was Markatos), and Learning Photography. The area also has much to see and do: Penland School of Crafts, riding, hiking, waterfalls, the very groovy town of Asheville, Blue Ridge Parkway, the nearby mountain village.
The house is available for conventional rentals. But planned themed weeks with guide is a new twist. I like the idea and the enterprise involved.
It reminds me of my businessman father who turned his own outgrown tuxedos into a formal wear rental business that eventually wholesaled throughout the Southeast.
The questions to ask oneself in order to do something similar are:
*what do I have?
*what do I know?
*what can I offer?
*what do I have to offer that others need?
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Thanks!
My first-ever Big Bold Sale on my critiquing services, announced here three days ago, is getting a terrific and very gratifying response: lots of writers I haven't worked with before, some interesting and talented and quick-to-take-action folks from all over the country, have been touch.
Not every bold experiment works out well, as we all know. If they all did, there wouldn't be any risk or boldness involved.
So it's very gratifying when it goes well. And it encourages the next venture. Makes me want to try something truly daring, riding the momentum.
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Not every bold experiment works out well, as we all know. If they all did, there wouldn't be any risk or boldness involved.
So it's very gratifying when it goes well. And it encourages the next venture. Makes me want to try something truly daring, riding the momentum.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Feel Fantastic
The new July issue of Success Magazine (the one with "GO FOR BOLD" in orange type on the cover) has a simple, effective idea in its list of action items on the last page.
Essentially it's this: in planning your day, identify the action that would make you feel fantastic to get done today. Do that first.
If you give it a shot, or already have experience with this, please let us know how it works for you.
I've sometimes done first "the thing I feel most nervous about." But that's such a negative way to code it. Even so, doing it makes me feel fantastic. I'm going to hang onto the "fantastic" label for this strategy.
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Essentially it's this: in planning your day, identify the action that would make you feel fantastic to get done today. Do that first.
If you give it a shot, or already have experience with this, please let us know how it works for you.
I've sometimes done first "the thing I feel most nervous about." But that's such a negative way to code it. Even so, doing it makes me feel fantastic. I'm going to hang onto the "fantastic" label for this strategy.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Red Chair, Blue Language
My office partner Carrie who owns the building is having the place spiffed up and repainted. In this process several issues of boldness have arisen.
Most noticeably, the front porch chair has gone from pale yellow to poppy red.
And then yesterday, a wee incident raised for me some thoughts about differences in style. Carrie and I both tend to overworry about whether we've stepped on someone's toes. I also see myself as a fairly mild-mannered sort.
I had gradually glazed out on the fact that there had been workmen all over the building for days. And then my copier/printer got snarled-up and refused to proceed. I went over to the rebellious thing, which sits just below a window, and tried to fix it, all the while unleashing a staccato of the harsh and obscene language I reserve for malfunctioning machines. Didn't realize that I was speaking within inches of the nose of the man working on the windowsill on the other side of the glass. After all, we'd been professionally ignoring each other quite successfully for days.
My response to this realization, not so bold: I turned around and walked out of the room. A little embarrassing, a lot funny: that was my reaction.
I told Carrie the amusing news. She thought it was funny too. Then she went out and assured the largely Spanish-speaking crew that all was well and they hadn't done anything wrong and that it was just me having an outburst over mechanical difficulties. She explained to me privately that they're a particularly sweet and sensitive bunch of guys.
I'm not accustomed to being on the raunchy side of such moments, especially with construction workers. Not used to being apologized for, or to finding such a small awkward moment increasingly hilarious. I'm not sure where the path of proper boldness lay here, but find it refreshing to be, for a change, the mouthy brash explosive one.
Monday, June 01, 2009
My Big Bold Sale
In honor of our recession, I'm having my first-ever sale. Here's the deal:
I’m offering a June-only reduced fee for all my manuscript and consulting services for writers.
I've cut my rates by 40% for the next four weeks.
For critiques on manuscripts, fiction and nonfiction, and for consultations on the writing business, I’m charging 40% off the rates listed on my website. Minimums are also lowered 40%.
Writers I've worked with as clients have published with major book houses including Simon & Schuster, Wiley, Workman, and St. Martin's, as well as smaller presses, literary journals, magazines (Gourmet, Newsweek) and newspapers. (Results not typical)
Feel free to tell your students, colleagues, and writer friends about this one-time opportunity for ridiculously low-cost, high-quality literary criticism. A recession is no time to hold back on creativity.
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I’m offering a June-only reduced fee for all my manuscript and consulting services for writers.
I've cut my rates by 40% for the next four weeks.
For critiques on manuscripts, fiction and nonfiction, and for consultations on the writing business, I’m charging 40% off the rates listed on my website. Minimums are also lowered 40%.
Writers I've worked with as clients have published with major book houses including Simon & Schuster, Wiley, Workman, and St. Martin's, as well as smaller presses, literary journals, magazines (Gourmet, Newsweek) and newspapers. (Results not typical)
Feel free to tell your students, colleagues, and writer friends about this one-time opportunity for ridiculously low-cost, high-quality literary criticism. A recession is no time to hold back on creativity.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Getting Up Off the Sofa
Went out kayaking today before hitting the computer, and now I feel wonderful. Those disciplined souls who get themselves to run in the mornings are on to something; they do get their reward for popping/dragging out of bed early.
This was my first "serious" paddle of the season. I did go out once in boots and raingear before it was warm enough to plant, but then when gardening weather started, I decided to specialize and have spent my spare time in the dirt. But as of June 1, tomorrow, there's no point in planting anything in North Carolina; too hot.
Perfect time to break out my little inflatable Bold Boat and hit bright, sunny Jordan Lake under a gorgeous sky. A lot of sailboats were out. The whole scene looked happy. And now I have the triple endorphin rush of having exercised, been outdoors, and been on the water.
I need to remember such moments in a visceral way in order to get myself into motion again next weekend. Because even fun things can take some effort, some wrestling with equipment, etc.
Lake/boat pictures to come, BTW
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This was my first "serious" paddle of the season. I did go out once in boots and raingear before it was warm enough to plant, but then when gardening weather started, I decided to specialize and have spent my spare time in the dirt. But as of June 1, tomorrow, there's no point in planting anything in North Carolina; too hot.
Perfect time to break out my little inflatable Bold Boat and hit bright, sunny Jordan Lake under a gorgeous sky. A lot of sailboats were out. The whole scene looked happy. And now I have the triple endorphin rush of having exercised, been outdoors, and been on the water.
I need to remember such moments in a visceral way in order to get myself into motion again next weekend. Because even fun things can take some effort, some wrestling with equipment, etc.
Lake/boat pictures to come, BTW
Friday, May 29, 2009
Get a View from the Trees
Bold idea: Live up in the trees. Perhaps because it's the leafy season, this idea is very appealing to me...and to others, because I keep seeing it show up on-line and off. I live in the woods (in a house) surrounded by trees. And we have a tree platform, which can help to give a person perspective. I still like the idea of Swiss Family Robinson, remember the movie images of the house as well. I climbed trees occasionally as late as my undergraduate years. Maybe it's not too late.
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"Like Streams in the Desert"
Here's a boldness break of a rather different sort than the laughing Buddha on the train earlier this week. (A boldness break is a brief time-out that re-juices imagination and creative courage.)
"Like Streams in the Desert" is an orchestral piece composed in honor of the 50th anniversary of Israel by my friend-from-first-grade Meira Warshauer. She and I got to be buddies out at the swings at recess. In second grade when she won the drawing to take home the room-size Santa Claus mural the class had pasted together, she gave it to me; her family did Hannukah and not Christmas.
When I saw in my email the note about her work on video on Youtube, it was holidays all over again, 9:54 seconds worth of her music while the camera soars over water-in-the-desert images from artist Shoshanna Brombacher, who in this work reminds me simultaneously of Chagall, Van Gogh, and Georgia O'Keefe. (Wow, that sentence covers a lot of territory. Oh, the pleasures of editorless blogging!)
Meira's music is performed here by Slovak Radio Symphony Orchestra on a video developed by Michael Bregman. The CD of her Torah-inspired music is available from Albany Records, this piece commissioned and premiered by Neal Gittleman and the Dayton Philharmonic.
For the musically literate, here's a review: "spiritually ecstatic, beautifully felt... representation of [the] mystical creative process." If you're in the mood for a stream in a desert, go listen and watch for a few minutes. It's profoundly refreshing.
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"Like Streams in the Desert" is an orchestral piece composed in honor of the 50th anniversary of Israel by my friend-from-first-grade Meira Warshauer. She and I got to be buddies out at the swings at recess. In second grade when she won the drawing to take home the room-size Santa Claus mural the class had pasted together, she gave it to me; her family did Hannukah and not Christmas.
When I saw in my email the note about her work on video on Youtube, it was holidays all over again, 9:54 seconds worth of her music while the camera soars over water-in-the-desert images from artist Shoshanna Brombacher, who in this work reminds me simultaneously of Chagall, Van Gogh, and Georgia O'Keefe. (Wow, that sentence covers a lot of territory. Oh, the pleasures of editorless blogging!)
Meira's music is performed here by Slovak Radio Symphony Orchestra on a video developed by Michael Bregman. The CD of her Torah-inspired music is available from Albany Records, this piece commissioned and premiered by Neal Gittleman and the Dayton Philharmonic.
For the musically literate, here's a review: "spiritually ecstatic, beautifully felt... representation of [the] mystical creative process." If you're in the mood for a stream in a desert, go listen and watch for a few minutes. It's profoundly refreshing.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The Masks Fear Wears
In answer to: "how do we hide our fears?" a question posed in the comments by Debbie, I did a bit of research. I suspect there are many more items that could be added.
*Misplaced anger is a method that gives the illusion of control and safety. More on this from psychology professor Jennifer Freyd of the University of Oregon
*Pretense or pretentiousness. See Sarah Stewart comment on Intuitive Roots.
*Addictions and reflexive habits.
*Emotional numbness.
*"One of the worst ways we hide fear is by hiding behind our Bibles and theology. This happens when knowing all the right answers and being able to correct others becomes more important then knowing and loving God and knowing and loving people." From The Firehouse Church in Bremerton, Washington.
*Tension, muscular hyperreadiness.
*Stereotyping, rigid thinking about "the enemy" From The Center for Media Literacy
*General controlling behavior
*Phobias, replacing one fear with another. The Acadia Hospital
*Compulsive behaviors that give the illusion of order
*Anonymity
*"Going along"
"The best way to deal with fear is to stop pretending to be fearless. Paradoxically, the more you deny fear, the more likely it is to dominate you. Tune into your fear, give it a voice, enter into a dialogue with it, do what you can to reduce the risk, and you will find yourself more able to take risks....Behind fear lies excitement." From David Cornfield atThe Creative Edge
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*Misplaced anger is a method that gives the illusion of control and safety. More on this from psychology professor Jennifer Freyd of the University of Oregon
*Pretense or pretentiousness. See Sarah Stewart comment on Intuitive Roots.
*Addictions and reflexive habits.
*Emotional numbness.
*"One of the worst ways we hide fear is by hiding behind our Bibles and theology. This happens when knowing all the right answers and being able to correct others becomes more important then knowing and loving God and knowing and loving people." From The Firehouse Church in Bremerton, Washington.
*Tension, muscular hyperreadiness.
*Stereotyping, rigid thinking about "the enemy" From The Center for Media Literacy
*General controlling behavior
*Phobias, replacing one fear with another. The Acadia Hospital
*Compulsive behaviors that give the illusion of order
*Anonymity
*"Going along"
"The best way to deal with fear is to stop pretending to be fearless. Paradoxically, the more you deny fear, the more likely it is to dominate you. Tune into your fear, give it a voice, enter into a dialogue with it, do what you can to reduce the risk, and you will find yourself more able to take risks....Behind fear lies excitement." From David Cornfield atThe Creative Edge
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Boddhisatva in Metro
Watch how this guy transforms the dour crowd in a subway car. You'd think, at the start of the film, that these people were on their way to their execution. Not so. The film is 6 minutes and 47 seconds that will embolden your day.
Made by Belgian director Christine Rabette in 2003. The actual title is Merci! The Boddhisatva title was added (in Russian) by whoever put it on Youtube.
Note: a boddhisatva is someone who has attained release from the cycle of rebirths but chooses to live human lives in order to help others.
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Made by Belgian director Christine Rabette in 2003. The actual title is Merci! The Boddhisatva title was added (in Russian) by whoever put it on Youtube.
Note: a boddhisatva is someone who has attained release from the cycle of rebirths but chooses to live human lives in order to help others.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Post-Memorial Day Post
I'm not good military material: don't care for violence, hierarchies, dressing alike, guns, or having a boss.
But hearing the stories of war yesterday on NPR stirred me, as it was supposed to. I thought about soldiers much of the day.
One of the things that struck me is how many of them think back to their wartimes as both the best and worst parts of their lives. The good part, it seems, was the intensity--the life-or-death seriousness--and the bonds with comrades, the willingness to risk literally taking a bullet for another.
Being whole-heartedly a part of something huge feels good to people. Acting with courage feels good, even on the home front, when it may seem that the stakes are smaller.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
But hearing the stories of war yesterday on NPR stirred me, as it was supposed to. I thought about soldiers much of the day.
One of the things that struck me is how many of them think back to their wartimes as both the best and worst parts of their lives. The good part, it seems, was the intensity--the life-or-death seriousness--and the bonds with comrades, the willingness to risk literally taking a bullet for another.
Being whole-heartedly a part of something huge feels good to people. Acting with courage feels good, even on the home front, when it may seem that the stakes are smaller.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Having To Wait
The dreadful condition of waiting, not-acting, and not-being-able-to-find-out is a hard one for me and for a lot of folks. I just ran across a list of stupid, energy-wasting things we tend to do to cope with this situation on "Tolerating Uncertainty."
1 Seeking excessive reassurance from others
2 List-making
3 Double checking
4 Refusing to delegate
5 Procrastination/avoidance
6 Distraction
These certainly are familiar to me. I saw this list and thought: Busted! I'm particularly fond of numbers 2 through 5. I think there's some value for me in seeing this list. It identifies a pattern I can be more careful to avoid.
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1 Seeking excessive reassurance from others
2 List-making
3 Double checking
4 Refusing to delegate
5 Procrastination/avoidance
6 Distraction
These certainly are familiar to me. I saw this list and thought: Busted! I'm particularly fond of numbers 2 through 5. I think there's some value for me in seeing this list. It identifies a pattern I can be more careful to avoid.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Getting Rid of the Fear of Success
"It is often when our futures look brightest that our resolve crumbles and we veer off course." From the Daily Om, "Boldly Growing Into Your Own Fear of the Future"
So what do we do about this? The Daily Om advises: Replaces negative thoughts with encouraging facts. "Tell yourself that the inevitability of your success is based not on luck or a universal mistake but on your already established talents, drive, imagination, and inner strength. Each time you overcome your fear of the future, you chip away at its very foundations. Eventually, you will clear a gap through which you can gaze upon the future with unhindered optimism."
I've never felt I had any fear of success. But I know that I can get agitated when more than one suitor, personal or professional, is competing for my attention. I also think that this kind of fear hides in the basement and sends obstacles up to the first floor. So I do think it's important to pay attention to whether such a fear might be getting in the way.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
So what do we do about this? The Daily Om advises: Replaces negative thoughts with encouraging facts. "Tell yourself that the inevitability of your success is based not on luck or a universal mistake but on your already established talents, drive, imagination, and inner strength. Each time you overcome your fear of the future, you chip away at its very foundations. Eventually, you will clear a gap through which you can gaze upon the future with unhindered optimism."
I've never felt I had any fear of success. But I know that I can get agitated when more than one suitor, personal or professional, is competing for my attention. I also think that this kind of fear hides in the basement and sends obstacles up to the first floor. So I do think it's important to pay attention to whether such a fear might be getting in the way.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Gutsy Honeysuckle
Yes, I know that honeysuckle is considered an environmental threat because it overwhelms native plants and a lot of gardeners rip it out.
However, I love it. It's beautiful and it smells good and it brings back lovely memories from my childhood.
I'm blogging about it because, though I see the problems, I admire its tenacity and ability to gracefully flourish.
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However, I love it. It's beautiful and it smells good and it brings back lovely memories from my childhood.
I'm blogging about it because, though I see the problems, I admire its tenacity and ability to gracefully flourish.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Elizabeth Edwards Sets a Good Example
Here's to Elizabeth Edwards for speaking up and writing her book!
Her whole life has been made public and has been discussed all over the country by others, including John Edwards. I'm astonished at the critics who think that she should not weigh in on the subject herself.
She has done so in a manner that seems to me honest and dignified. I think it sets a better example for her kids than would hiding out from the whole world.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Her whole life has been made public and has been discussed all over the country by others, including John Edwards. I'm astonished at the critics who think that she should not weigh in on the subject herself.
She has done so in a manner that seems to me honest and dignified. I think it sets a better example for her kids than would hiding out from the whole world.
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Cayce on Intuition
From Edgar Cayce, "the 'sleeping prophet,' the 'father of holistic medicine,' and the most documented psychic of the 20th century":
"The more and more each is impelled by that which is intuitive, or the relying upon the soul force within, the greater, the farther, the deeper, the broader, the more constructive may be the result."
Edgar Cayce Reading 792-2 (This quote from the site of Melissa Alvarez, metaphysical writer.)
Cayce left not only thousands of readings and the health advice therein, but a center for continuing study at Virginia Beach (good choice of locations): Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.)
I've been to A.R.E. a couple of times, which has a spa run on Caycean teaching, with excellent massages, and a terrific metaphysical library, speakers and classes, etc.
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"The more and more each is impelled by that which is intuitive, or the relying upon the soul force within, the greater, the farther, the deeper, the broader, the more constructive may be the result."
Edgar Cayce Reading 792-2 (This quote from the site of Melissa Alvarez, metaphysical writer.)
Cayce left not only thousands of readings and the health advice therein, but a center for continuing study at Virginia Beach (good choice of locations): Association for Research and Enlightenment (A.R.E.)
I've been to A.R.E. a couple of times, which has a spa run on Caycean teaching, with excellent massages, and a terrific metaphysical library, speakers and classes, etc.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Intuition
In the last 24 hours, I've had a strong sense that I've lately neglected the intuition part of my operation: both for information gathering and decision making. I'd say that's been going on for 2 to 3 years.
I've been meditating again this year, after a long lapse. I once went seven years when I missed only a couple of days of meditating. Then I stopped. What I decided at that time was to do it when I felt like it. That turned out to be never.
So in January I started requiring 20 minutes a day of myself. Now, as during those earlier years, it's good for my writing. I also feel that that 20 minutes has led me the recognition that I've been ignoring a major resource. And that can make a person start feeling a bit parched.
So now I'm reminding myself to make sure I've consulted God and my unconscious and any other unseen forces when I'm wrestling with specific questions.
I've also been reading Judith Orloff's Second Sight. In fact, I brought it to my office to read with lunch. That's always a sign that a book really has hold of me.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
I've been meditating again this year, after a long lapse. I once went seven years when I missed only a couple of days of meditating. Then I stopped. What I decided at that time was to do it when I felt like it. That turned out to be never.
So in January I started requiring 20 minutes a day of myself. Now, as during those earlier years, it's good for my writing. I also feel that that 20 minutes has led me the recognition that I've been ignoring a major resource. And that can make a person start feeling a bit parched.
So now I'm reminding myself to make sure I've consulted God and my unconscious and any other unseen forces when I'm wrestling with specific questions.
I've also been reading Judith Orloff's Second Sight. In fact, I brought it to my office to read with lunch. That's always a sign that a book really has hold of me.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Do Your Own Thing
The fellow who runs this new Project Mojave undertaking seems to have a passion for helping people get loose from cubicles and pursue their own interests on their own time. Having been a freelancer since I was 22 (I'm now 60), I very much favor this.
Click to the site and learn how to set up an internet business using expertise you already have. Even if you don't want to do precisely that, it's worth a look, if you like the idea of doing your own thing.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Click to the site and learn how to set up an internet business using expertise you already have. Even if you don't want to do precisely that, it's worth a look, if you like the idea of doing your own thing.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Find the Right Risk
A discovery by Mamie, who is definitely the Quote Queen:
"If you have no anxiety, the risk you face is probably not worthy of you. Only risks you have outgrown don't frighten you." - David Viscott
I've also noticed that sometimes I go straight from scared to bored. Scared is better. But it would be nice to linger at comfortably interested. I'm always imagining other people are having that experience.
Another good quote from this Viscott fellow: "There is some place where your specialties can shine. Somewhere that difference can be expressed. It's up to you to find it, and you can."
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"If you have no anxiety, the risk you face is probably not worthy of you. Only risks you have outgrown don't frighten you." - David Viscott
I've also noticed that sometimes I go straight from scared to bored. Scared is better. But it would be nice to linger at comfortably interested. I'm always imagining other people are having that experience.
Another good quote from this Viscott fellow: "There is some place where your specialties can shine. Somewhere that difference can be expressed. It's up to you to find it, and you can."
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Boy Wonder Does Dorm Room Decor With Flair
What inspired the cleanup I posted about yesterday was a story in the design issue of New York magazine about a college senior and the way he has decorated his dorm room.
Just imagine having your old dorm room's decor featured in New York. Not mine, though I had a very nice paper goldfish hanging from the curtain rod, a Jackson Pollock poster on the wall and blue and green curtains I was proud of.
Maximilian Sinsteden has definitely outdone that decor. Moreover, he already has clients for a design business.
"By the time Sinsteden was 12 years old, he’d redecorated most of the rooms in his parents’ house a few times, and had started in on the guest bedrooms of family friends. He had a precocious understanding of the perfect detail." At 15 he was working for a designer, but has never had any formal design training. His first solo job--as a junior in college--was to do the interior of a 78 foot yacht.
Go look at what he has done to his room (click on New York above). This is one bold young man. It takes taste, imagination, and courage. Some money too, but money alone can't do this. And he knows his way around a thrift, as well as how to borrow well from friends and relatives. And how to ignore any social pressures on a guy to play football instead.
The word is getting around about his skills. The article about him ran last week and a Google search of his name plus the word "dorm" produced over 9,000 sites. Being-red has additional photos.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Just imagine having your old dorm room's decor featured in New York. Not mine, though I had a very nice paper goldfish hanging from the curtain rod, a Jackson Pollock poster on the wall and blue and green curtains I was proud of.
Maximilian Sinsteden has definitely outdone that decor. Moreover, he already has clients for a design business.
"By the time Sinsteden was 12 years old, he’d redecorated most of the rooms in his parents’ house a few times, and had started in on the guest bedrooms of family friends. He had a precocious understanding of the perfect detail." At 15 he was working for a designer, but has never had any formal design training. His first solo job--as a junior in college--was to do the interior of a 78 foot yacht.
Go look at what he has done to his room (click on New York above). This is one bold young man. It takes taste, imagination, and courage. Some money too, but money alone can't do this. And he knows his way around a thrift, as well as how to borrow well from friends and relatives. And how to ignore any social pressures on a guy to play football instead.
The word is getting around about his skills. The article about him ran last week and a Google search of his name plus the word "dorm" produced over 9,000 sites. Being-red has additional photos.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Cleaning Out My Closet
The exceptionally bold act of cleaning out the bedroom closet can be so liberating.
This past Sunday I set to it, and sent 18 articles of clothing away to new lives elsewhere. (including the rag bag.) Note the "going out" pile.
One item had to be commemorated with a portrait: the jaunty sunglasses skirt, which has traveled with me to many a memorable occasion. Unfortunately the black background has started getting that rusty green cast that aging black fabric gets.
I don't understand why cleaning out a closet, pruning a bit, is so invigorating. But it is. And I was so energized afterwards, I went outside and cut a few branches off of big shrubs, opened the place up to a little more light.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
This past Sunday I set to it, and sent 18 articles of clothing away to new lives elsewhere. (including the rag bag.) Note the "going out" pile.
One item had to be commemorated with a portrait: the jaunty sunglasses skirt, which has traveled with me to many a memorable occasion. Unfortunately the black background has started getting that rusty green cast that aging black fabric gets.
I don't understand why cleaning out a closet, pruning a bit, is so invigorating. But it is. And I was so energized afterwards, I went outside and cut a few branches off of big shrubs, opened the place up to a little more light.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Ambitious and Feminine
See, it's possible to be both ambitious and feminine. These graceful rambling roses are already to the second-floor of our house. And they're not strident or driven.
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Get Your Message Across
See this yellow-backed vehicle? The owner of this car was seizing an opportunity. Written on the back is a message that says, in essence: okay, while you're sitting in traffic behind me, why not write this phone number down so you'll have it when you need it. The number is for a towing company. I thought it was a fine piece of advertising. I felt as if I was being addressed personally.
(Sorry about the worse-even-than-usual quality of the photography: it was one shot with a cell phone on a rainy day while driving a car with a dirty windshield with hand-painted morning glories on the hood and my arm in the way.)
My own car has a license plate that says SISINDIA for my novel Sister India. But that's really more for fun, for vanity, than anything else.
I'm wondering what other surprising inventive everyday ways there are for a writer/artist/entrepreneur to get his/her message across. Some artists cringe at advertising and self-promotion. Though we vigorously want publishers and galleries to invest heavily in promoting our work. And some madly promote and then pretend to be shy.
To me, to create the work and then decline to help it out into the world is like not taking care of the dog. It's falling down on the job.
So this past week I started running a wee ad for my critique services for writers. Never did this before. It's one of those little boxes on the right side of a Google page, the copy below, but with lines around it.
Get Book Feedback
Intensive Report: Novel/ Nonfiction
From NYT Notable Writer
www.peggypayne.com/service.html
The "NYT Notable" means that Sister India was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. Google Advertising wouldn't allow me to use the whole name in the ad because of trademark worries or some such.
So far it has appeared 65,937 times (when someone enters a phrase like "feedback on my novel"), been clicked on 11 times, and cost me $9.59. Haven't heard yet, that I know of, from anyone who clicked it, but we'll see. It's kind-a fun, like having a fishing line in the water.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
(Sorry about the worse-even-than-usual quality of the photography: it was one shot with a cell phone on a rainy day while driving a car with a dirty windshield with hand-painted morning glories on the hood and my arm in the way.)
My own car has a license plate that says SISINDIA for my novel Sister India. But that's really more for fun, for vanity, than anything else.
I'm wondering what other surprising inventive everyday ways there are for a writer/artist/entrepreneur to get his/her message across. Some artists cringe at advertising and self-promotion. Though we vigorously want publishers and galleries to invest heavily in promoting our work. And some madly promote and then pretend to be shy.
To me, to create the work and then decline to help it out into the world is like not taking care of the dog. It's falling down on the job.
So this past week I started running a wee ad for my critique services for writers. Never did this before. It's one of those little boxes on the right side of a Google page, the copy below, but with lines around it.
Get Book Feedback
Intensive Report: Novel/ Nonfiction
From NYT Notable Writer
www.peggypayne.com/service.html
The "NYT Notable" means that Sister India was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. Google Advertising wouldn't allow me to use the whole name in the ad because of trademark worries or some such.
So far it has appeared 65,937 times (when someone enters a phrase like "feedback on my novel"), been clicked on 11 times, and cost me $9.59. Haven't heard yet, that I know of, from anyone who clicked it, but we'll see. It's kind-a fun, like having a fishing line in the water.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Term Paper? Essay? Help Is at Hand
The bad kind of bold: a website called Free Essays that offers 32,000 "Free Essays for All Students."
The student who is eager for knowledge can find a paper on any of a huge and sometimes hilarious selection of subjects. For example: "Plagerism" (sic). And a search for papers that deal with personal courage turned up 317 choices, one labelled Values.
Click on PeerPapers on this site and you'll find an archive of 190,000. "Less Work, More Weekend" is the slogan. Browsers are informed that using one of these papers as a guide is not plagiarism, copying it is.
Type in the keyword "honor," and a list of an even 1,000 essays and term papers comes up. One of them begins: "Why do students cheat? This is an age-old question...."
It's even possible to find a paper on "Why I Want to Become a Nurse." Surely, if one wants to be a nurse, one is the authority on why.
...Though I once knew a man whose first writing success was a grade school personal essay on the assignment "Why I Love the Detroit Symphony." He was having trouble writing it. His much-older sister helped him with it a lot. He won a highly-publicized award for the work. His sister asked him if he had any doubts about accepting full credit. He absolutely did not. He went on to become a respected novelist.
I doubt if his story is typical.
A few other ironic topics in the essay libraries:
Apathy
Critical Thinkin (sic)
The Time I Made a Fool of Myself
Are We More Creative Today
How People Learn
And some charmingly specialized ones:
Slime Molds
Raving Is A Lifestyle
Biotreatment Of Wastewater Using Aquatic Invertebrates, Daphnia Magna And Paramecium Caudatum
Pear Culturing in India
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc.
Visitors are invited to donate papers and to alert headquarters if any papers on the sites are discovered to be of questionable quality.
Custom essays are available starting at $19.95 a page.
Approximately 368,000 google searches were done in April for the phrase "term paper" and over 9 million for "essay."
This rant is making me feel like a back-in-my-day old blowhard. So I'm doing a search for a paper on the hackneyed "old-fart" question: what's the world coming to? All I get was a paper on Mad Cow Disease.
So I look up "hookups" and get an essay: "Is The Traditional Date Dying" It's worth a visit.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
The student who is eager for knowledge can find a paper on any of a huge and sometimes hilarious selection of subjects. For example: "Plagerism" (sic). And a search for papers that deal with personal courage turned up 317 choices, one labelled Values.
Click on PeerPapers on this site and you'll find an archive of 190,000. "Less Work, More Weekend" is the slogan. Browsers are informed that using one of these papers as a guide is not plagiarism, copying it is.
Type in the keyword "honor," and a list of an even 1,000 essays and term papers comes up. One of them begins: "Why do students cheat? This is an age-old question...."
It's even possible to find a paper on "Why I Want to Become a Nurse." Surely, if one wants to be a nurse, one is the authority on why.
...Though I once knew a man whose first writing success was a grade school personal essay on the assignment "Why I Love the Detroit Symphony." He was having trouble writing it. His much-older sister helped him with it a lot. He won a highly-publicized award for the work. His sister asked him if he had any doubts about accepting full credit. He absolutely did not. He went on to become a respected novelist.
I doubt if his story is typical.
A few other ironic topics in the essay libraries:
Apathy
Critical Thinkin (sic)
The Time I Made a Fool of Myself
Are We More Creative Today
How People Learn
And some charmingly specialized ones:
Slime Molds
Raving Is A Lifestyle
Biotreatment Of Wastewater Using Aquatic Invertebrates, Daphnia Magna And Paramecium Caudatum
Pear Culturing in India
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc.
Visitors are invited to donate papers and to alert headquarters if any papers on the sites are discovered to be of questionable quality.
Custom essays are available starting at $19.95 a page.
Approximately 368,000 google searches were done in April for the phrase "term paper" and over 9 million for "essay."
This rant is making me feel like a back-in-my-day old blowhard. So I'm doing a search for a paper on the hackneyed "old-fart" question: what's the world coming to? All I get was a paper on Mad Cow Disease.
So I look up "hookups" and get an essay: "Is The Traditional Date Dying" It's worth a visit.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Thinking (and Acting) Outside the Therapy Session
I'm a huge fan of psychotherapy. One stretch of 11 sessions over a few months when I was 32 years old led me to start writing fiction and to get (happily) married. We celebrated our 25th anniversary in December. And, BTW, I married a therapist.
At the same time, I think it's important not to act like the whole world is a therapy group. Both self-questioning (to which I'm prone) and processing every human interaction can get really annoying--and counterproductive!-- if they turn into a full-time thing.
So I was delighted to find a wise blogger who agrees with me: a singer who writes about vivid living. Christine Kane's blog has lots of good lists of tips. Here's item number 7 from "10 Ways to Set a Powerful Intent."
"Move out of therapy thinking and into forward thinking.
Therapy is and has been a great help to many of us, AND it can be easy to get stuck in seeing yourself as flawed. It’s a habit. Therapy thinking says, “I have to get it all fixed before I can move on to better things.” Forward thinking says, “What would happen if I acted in spite of how I’m feeling about my life, or my capabilities?”
When it comes right down to it, we’re all complete train wrecks. Have a little celebration about your own train-wreck-ed-ness (invite the rest of us too), and then move forward, take actions, and learn that it is possible to function well without having figured it all out."
My fellow train wrecks, she's right. My own wise Mom tends to say: "Life is not about getting ready." And: "Do something, if it's wrong." This shorthand does not mean to go rob a bank, it means take some action that would appear to be toward the good and if that doesn't work, modify it or try something else. In other words: rock on!
(And have a Happy Mother's Day today.)
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
At the same time, I think it's important not to act like the whole world is a therapy group. Both self-questioning (to which I'm prone) and processing every human interaction can get really annoying--and counterproductive!-- if they turn into a full-time thing.
So I was delighted to find a wise blogger who agrees with me: a singer who writes about vivid living. Christine Kane's blog has lots of good lists of tips. Here's item number 7 from "10 Ways to Set a Powerful Intent."
"Move out of therapy thinking and into forward thinking.
Therapy is and has been a great help to many of us, AND it can be easy to get stuck in seeing yourself as flawed. It’s a habit. Therapy thinking says, “I have to get it all fixed before I can move on to better things.” Forward thinking says, “What would happen if I acted in spite of how I’m feeling about my life, or my capabilities?”
When it comes right down to it, we’re all complete train wrecks. Have a little celebration about your own train-wreck-ed-ness (invite the rest of us too), and then move forward, take actions, and learn that it is possible to function well without having figured it all out."
My fellow train wrecks, she's right. My own wise Mom tends to say: "Life is not about getting ready." And: "Do something, if it's wrong." This shorthand does not mean to go rob a bank, it means take some action that would appear to be toward the good and if that doesn't work, modify it or try something else. In other words: rock on!
(And have a Happy Mother's Day today.)
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Bold Roses
Came home from work last night to find that my rambling roses had exploded into bloom. They're very pale pink and they looked spectacular (by the standards of my garden) even in the dark as I drove up.
Last year (first season) they bloomed a little, and then grew like crazy everywhere, up to the second floor, pushing up against a window, etc.
I like their doing this all at once, instead of tiptoeing out, a few and then a few more. It seems both bold and generous.
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Last year (first season) they bloomed a little, and then grew like crazy everywhere, up to the second floor, pushing up against a window, etc.
I like their doing this all at once, instead of tiptoeing out, a few and then a few more. It seems both bold and generous.
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Friday, May 08, 2009
Itchy for a Call
Since Monday I've been on the alert for a phone call. Monday is when the itching started. First my head, then an arm...and so on. It took me four days of scratching to think what is usually my first thought about any physical complaint: could this all be IN my head rather than on it?
That thought, as well as a chat at dinner with psychologist/hypnotist husband Bob put a sudden and total end to Itchy-and-Scratchy. The problem was gone. It should always be so easy.
And: I should refrain from using my creativity and magic in this way. There's no end to the trouble I can make for myself. Better to make up novels.
Bob reminded me of a New Yorker article on itching and the mind, aptly titled "The Itch." that talks about how the mind may be filling in info from tiny bits of data: connect-the-dots. Called the "brain's best guess."
My research also turned up someone who itched during yoga, another whose feet itched when she washed dishes, and one who itched whenever her hands were full with two bags.
With me and the business of a phone call, I think it may come down to the fact that I'd rather be active than passive, rather do something than wait. Surely I can find something better to do.
I'm starting to feel a faint tickle as I write this. Must stop now.
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That thought, as well as a chat at dinner with psychologist/hypnotist husband Bob put a sudden and total end to Itchy-and-Scratchy. The problem was gone. It should always be so easy.
And: I should refrain from using my creativity and magic in this way. There's no end to the trouble I can make for myself. Better to make up novels.
Bob reminded me of a New Yorker article on itching and the mind, aptly titled "The Itch." that talks about how the mind may be filling in info from tiny bits of data: connect-the-dots. Called the "brain's best guess."
My research also turned up someone who itched during yoga, another whose feet itched when she washed dishes, and one who itched whenever her hands were full with two bags.
With me and the business of a phone call, I think it may come down to the fact that I'd rather be active than passive, rather do something than wait. Surely I can find something better to do.
I'm starting to feel a faint tickle as I write this. Must stop now.
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Thursday, May 07, 2009
New Flavor, New Law
Four times a day forever, a friend of mine has to drink a tall glass of water with a vile pink powder stirred into it. It's medication.
Yesterday she called the manufacturer, their Customer Service Department, and asked if they would please develop a new flavor. The customer rep fumbled about and then sent her call to the Regulatory Department. They're probably not going to be the ones to add mango or licorice or bubble gum to their stock. But someone may. I wouldn't be surprised.
What I like is her taking the initiative to go to the source and ask for a change. It costs nothing to dial an 800 number and sometimes it works.
By contrast, another friend said to me once, "But it's the law. You can't change the law."
Yes, you can. I covered the NC state legislature for years for the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot newspaper and on NC public TV. This gave me the opportunity to see that laws are made up, just like fiction except that lawmaking is done by committees. In this country, we elect the committees, and we can go talk to them. See: "How to Lobby a Bill into Law." It's a lot of work, but it can be done. Realizing that is a reminder of how many other things are also possible.
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Yesterday she called the manufacturer, their Customer Service Department, and asked if they would please develop a new flavor. The customer rep fumbled about and then sent her call to the Regulatory Department. They're probably not going to be the ones to add mango or licorice or bubble gum to their stock. But someone may. I wouldn't be surprised.
What I like is her taking the initiative to go to the source and ask for a change. It costs nothing to dial an 800 number and sometimes it works.
By contrast, another friend said to me once, "But it's the law. You can't change the law."
Yes, you can. I covered the NC state legislature for years for the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot newspaper and on NC public TV. This gave me the opportunity to see that laws are made up, just like fiction except that lawmaking is done by committees. In this country, we elect the committees, and we can go talk to them. See: "How to Lobby a Bill into Law." It's a lot of work, but it can be done. Realizing that is a reminder of how many other things are also possible.
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Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Creating for a New Generation
Since posting about star designer Philippe Starck, I learned that he gave one of those famous TED speeches, where you give the talk of your lifetime in 18 minutes: a great concept and a great series.
So I went to listen to Starck's TED talk. A little frustrating, a lot inspiring. This man looks at the truly big picture in order to design the humblest objects (he has also designed some pretty grand ones.)
To design a toothbrush, he says, you have to think of the mouth and the species the mouth belongs to. And that subject took him back to the origins of life about 4 billion years ago. The bacteria back then had no idea what we would be like today. "Today we have no idea what we'll be in 4 billion years....Every generation thinks he's the final one."
But we're not the final one, and we're still evolving. So, the job of each of us is "to be a good mutant," and help to create the tools that the next generation will need to do their best for those who succeed them. That's what keeps him working, he says, even when he's designing something as lowly as a toilet brush.
It seems to me that that kind of thinking can take the pressure off. If what I'm doing is just taking the next step, then I'm simply playing my part in a group effort. Starck says that we don't have to be geniuses, we just have to participate.
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So I went to listen to Starck's TED talk. A little frustrating, a lot inspiring. This man looks at the truly big picture in order to design the humblest objects (he has also designed some pretty grand ones.)
To design a toothbrush, he says, you have to think of the mouth and the species the mouth belongs to. And that subject took him back to the origins of life about 4 billion years ago. The bacteria back then had no idea what we would be like today. "Today we have no idea what we'll be in 4 billion years....Every generation thinks he's the final one."
But we're not the final one, and we're still evolving. So, the job of each of us is "to be a good mutant," and help to create the tools that the next generation will need to do their best for those who succeed them. That's what keeps him working, he says, even when he's designing something as lowly as a toilet brush.
It seems to me that that kind of thinking can take the pressure off. If what I'm doing is just taking the next step, then I'm simply playing my part in a group effort. Starck says that we don't have to be geniuses, we just have to participate.
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Tuesday, May 05, 2009
One Brave Flower
This year's crop of irises at my house turned out to be a total of one. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, whether it's the increasing shade, the fact that the rhizomes are buried in periwinkles or the wrong fertilizer, but my once lush iris patch has pretty much given up. (And I have divided them!)
Still, this year there is the one bold yellow iris that has the spunk to stand alone.
I just googled this iris and the website I read said it's a pest and told how to get rid of it. I don't need help with making things not grow. I say: celebrate this hardy individual.
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Still, this year there is the one bold yellow iris that has the spunk to stand alone.
I just googled this iris and the website I read said it's a pest and told how to get rid of it. I don't need help with making things not grow. I say: celebrate this hardy individual.
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Monday, May 04, 2009
Your Formula for Creativity
The astonishing designer Philippe Starck told Fast Company magazine his formula for creativity: "Every morning, take royal jelly and omega-3 oil, eat oysters, and have a good sexual life. Don't care about anything, and never listen to anybody. Be free."
Do you have a formula for creativity? Mine is show up and write. But I've yet to reach the Starck level of success. Maybe I should rethink.
(Royal jelly is produced by the salivary glands of worker bees and fed to up-and-coming queen bees.)
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Do you have a formula for creativity? Mine is show up and write. But I've yet to reach the Starck level of success. Maybe I should rethink.
(Royal jelly is produced by the salivary glands of worker bees and fed to up-and-coming queen bees.)
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Sunday, May 03, 2009
The Puppy Portrait
The puppy-in-the-garden-with-Bob portrait is a tradition at my house. I've taken a picture of Bob holding each subsequent pup, but we waited too late to shoot this one.
Aura at 5-ish months weighs about 75 pounds. She may look uncomfortable, but she was fine. Bob, on the other hand, says he's not hoisting any more dogs this size.
Aura will weigh in at about 140 when she's grown. It takes a bold dog person to take on a dog this size. And he already has another mastiff type dog who outweighs me. It's a team of canine Clydesdales.
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Aura at 5-ish months weighs about 75 pounds. She may look uncomfortable, but she was fine. Bob, on the other hand, says he's not hoisting any more dogs this size.
Aura will weigh in at about 140 when she's grown. It takes a bold dog person to take on a dog this size. And he already has another mastiff type dog who outweighs me. It's a team of canine Clydesdales.
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Saturday, May 02, 2009
Sunlight Shining Through Cobalt blue
Simply because my new novel is called "Cobalt Blue" and I'm in a novel-aggrandizing mood...
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Friday, May 01, 2009
Launch Your Own Adventure
It's Friday, day of the planet Venus, the Roman goddess of love. It's spring. The weather is gorgeous, at least here in Raleigh. So think of a good adventure to launch, large or small, to celebrate the day and the season. (The beauty bush at the edge of my woodland garden is celebrating.)
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Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Godwinks
I never heard the term before yesterday, but now I'm completely charmed by the idea. "Godwinks" (on Beliefnet.com) encourage courage. How could they not?
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Live at "Dancing Like the Stars"
On Sunday afternoon, Ruth Sheehan, one of my intrepid sisters-in-law, engaged in a public dance competition at the N.C. State Fairgrounds on behalf of children with special needs and the honor of the newspaper industry. She and her dance partner won!
That's her in the pink sequins, as photographed on my phone by her nine year old son Tucker who was sitting beside me at Dancing Like The Stars. She's dancing with Dick Hensley, a dance instructor who performed in the movie Dirty Dancing.
Ruth is a columnist at Raleigh's News & Observer, and she was competing against TV people (accustomed to performing in person). Each of the media contestants had a professional dance partner who rehearsed with her/him for six weeks. Then they all got dolled up like those on the TV show, "Dancing With the Stars" and each couple danced for the live audience.
People could vote on-line, after watching a video of a rehearsal, or at the performance. Votes cost $10 for the first and $1 for any additional. The money went to the Bubel/Aiken Foundation, for programs that promote inclusion of kids with special needs. The show was emceed by Clay Aiken's mother, Faye Parker. (Clay's from here in Raleigh.)
Ruth and Dick got the most votes. No way could a devout newspaper person let a broadcaster win. Never mind that one of them was a former Washington Redskins cheerleader and Ruth has long been known for bumping into doorjambs and the edges of things. But you can't beat a crusading columnist like her; as one of the judges, a waggish Simon Cowell wannabe, said: Ruth, your dancing, like your column was all over the place and leaning a little to the left.
I don't know how much money the children's foundation took in, but I'm guessing it was a fair amount. Because the competition was seriously bold. One 6'5" sportscaster did "the worm" across the stage and jumped over his partner. The dancers went all out, and what a lot of fun it was.... There's nothing like getting fiercely competitive and bold in pink sequins--and for a good cause.
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That's her in the pink sequins, as photographed on my phone by her nine year old son Tucker who was sitting beside me at Dancing Like The Stars. She's dancing with Dick Hensley, a dance instructor who performed in the movie Dirty Dancing.
Ruth is a columnist at Raleigh's News & Observer, and she was competing against TV people (accustomed to performing in person). Each of the media contestants had a professional dance partner who rehearsed with her/him for six weeks. Then they all got dolled up like those on the TV show, "Dancing With the Stars" and each couple danced for the live audience.
People could vote on-line, after watching a video of a rehearsal, or at the performance. Votes cost $10 for the first and $1 for any additional. The money went to the Bubel/Aiken Foundation, for programs that promote inclusion of kids with special needs. The show was emceed by Clay Aiken's mother, Faye Parker. (Clay's from here in Raleigh.)
Ruth and Dick got the most votes. No way could a devout newspaper person let a broadcaster win. Never mind that one of them was a former Washington Redskins cheerleader and Ruth has long been known for bumping into doorjambs and the edges of things. But you can't beat a crusading columnist like her; as one of the judges, a waggish Simon Cowell wannabe, said: Ruth, your dancing, like your column was all over the place and leaning a little to the left.
I don't know how much money the children's foundation took in, but I'm guessing it was a fair amount. Because the competition was seriously bold. One 6'5" sportscaster did "the worm" across the stage and jumped over his partner. The dancers went all out, and what a lot of fun it was.... There's nothing like getting fiercely competitive and bold in pink sequins--and for a good cause.
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Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Dancing Like The Stars
The dancer in pink took action beyond-bold for a good cause on Sunday. More to come on this story tomorrow.
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Monday, April 27, 2009
Never Shake a Baby
Seems like it's either Pickle Day or Fork Lift Operator Month or some such, every time the calendar page turns over.
This month is one we might take notice of: National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Here's something you can do in observance that is so easy it barely counts as bold. But it's important: Go to the site of the Child Abuse Prevention Center and take the Never-Shake-A-Baby pledge, on the right below the kiddo with enormous eyes and a pacifier. Raising awareness of the danger will help to educate and pacify babysitters and parents who have run out of patience.
Here are a few other actions you can take. Intervening in child abuse is truly bold.
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This month is one we might take notice of: National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Here's something you can do in observance that is so easy it barely counts as bold. But it's important: Go to the site of the Child Abuse Prevention Center and take the Never-Shake-A-Baby pledge, on the right below the kiddo with enormous eyes and a pacifier. Raising awareness of the danger will help to educate and pacify babysitters and parents who have run out of patience.
Here are a few other actions you can take. Intervening in child abuse is truly bold.
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Sunday, April 26, 2009
Raising Children Who Shine
"I want their lives to always feel full and purpose-driven. I want to watch them as they continue to sprout new feathers on their wings and as they share their gifts with the world." From the blog of regular contributor Debbie, who writes about her "four angel daughters."
You have to see the photos of "Little Miss Fierce," Angel Daughter Number Four dancing hip-hop. They're as good as hearing the beat of the music itself. You'll want to dance to your own lively beat.
And don't miss what their momma has to say. On an earlier post, she talks about the kind of encouragement she received:
"My dad is a tough man, but he is also an incredible cheerleader. In so many ways, I am who I am because of him. A realist who chooses to believe that we can all do great things.
Strive to do something great. Not perfect, just fantastic."
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You have to see the photos of "Little Miss Fierce," Angel Daughter Number Four dancing hip-hop. They're as good as hearing the beat of the music itself. You'll want to dance to your own lively beat.
And don't miss what their momma has to say. On an earlier post, she talks about the kind of encouragement she received:
"My dad is a tough man, but he is also an incredible cheerleader. In so many ways, I am who I am because of him. A realist who chooses to believe that we can all do great things.
Strive to do something great. Not perfect, just fantastic."
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Friday, April 24, 2009
Stand By Someone
Take some inspiration from street musicians around the world who "Play for Change." Listen to "Stand By Me." Click on the big screen-filling picture of Grandpa Elliott in New Orleans.
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Thursday, April 23, 2009
Small Changes in Routine
Blogging outdoors in my bathrobe, sitting in my car in our driveway, where reception is better than inside. The air is room-temp, so I've left the car door open; birds are happily chirtling in the trees, nice liquid-y sounds. A horse fly madly buzzs against the inside of windshield, trying to get out.
Even small changes in routine are great for the creativity and sense of adventure: I've gotten a lot of pretty good work done this morning. Now off to the writers' group I've been meeting with for 26 years: some good things to be said for routine as well.
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Even small changes in routine are great for the creativity and sense of adventure: I've gotten a lot of pretty good work done this morning. Now off to the writers' group I've been meeting with for 26 years: some good things to be said for routine as well.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009
"Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood..."
Today I'm in the particular swivet known as "Which Should I Work On?". I'm talking about my own writing, not clients' projects which follow a more easily-decided schedule. I have two unfinished projects of my own (more than that actually, but two that are extremely timely) and last night at dinner with another novelist I got great encouragement to focus on the one I hadn't been thinking about lately.
"Do you know how much money you can get for a YA paranormal romance these days?" she said. She described this time as the "golden age" of Young Adult books. I happen to have a draft of such a novel.
So after dinner I went searching round the house for it. Found it in only the second room I tried. It was under the guest room bed. The colleague I had lunch with today responded to this story with, "Talk about hiding money under the mattress."
We'll see.
I started reading my old draft last night, thought it pretty good, though I know it's going to need a stronger ending. This afternoon my ambition is to make good progress on some book or another, and not fritter too much of my time asking myself which one.
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"Do you know how much money you can get for a YA paranormal romance these days?" she said. She described this time as the "golden age" of Young Adult books. I happen to have a draft of such a novel.
So after dinner I went searching round the house for it. Found it in only the second room I tried. It was under the guest room bed. The colleague I had lunch with today responded to this story with, "Talk about hiding money under the mattress."
We'll see.
I started reading my old draft last night, thought it pretty good, though I know it's going to need a stronger ending. This afternoon my ambition is to make good progress on some book or another, and not fritter too much of my time asking myself which one.
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Anger Strategy
How does one boldly handle irritability that arises for no particular reason or at least has nothing to do with the innocents who cross one's path?
I have an idea that total withholding of the snappishness that longs to surface isn't good for the relationships. But neither is the full-strength snapping.
Intellectually I know that the right thing is to say: I'm in an irritable mood. Then the other person can proceed forewarned. But that doesn't feel particularly satisfying. In fact, the prospect annoys me more.
Exercise is always good, gardening in particular. But I need to work just now.
Looking out my office window to the deck of the house door next has possibilities. The 46 year-old woman who lived there died two weeks ago of pancreatic cancer. As I sit here, that approach is starting to work.
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I have an idea that total withholding of the snappishness that longs to surface isn't good for the relationships. But neither is the full-strength snapping.
Intellectually I know that the right thing is to say: I'm in an irritable mood. Then the other person can proceed forewarned. But that doesn't feel particularly satisfying. In fact, the prospect annoys me more.
Exercise is always good, gardening in particular. But I need to work just now.
Looking out my office window to the deck of the house door next has possibilities. The 46 year-old woman who lived there died two weeks ago of pancreatic cancer. As I sit here, that approach is starting to work.
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Monday, April 20, 2009
Let Your Mind Rock and Roll
Today I'm fulminating primarily on the Mystic-Lit blog. The title is "The Greasy Elements Approach to Writing." Doesn't that title entice you?
The basic idea is to improve creativity by visually dislodging and breaking up the frozen clusters of words and images so that they interact in new ways. Doing Word Jumbles is my laboratory for this technique.
While you're over at Mystic Lit, do check out some of the other essays on writing. A lot of interesting writers have contributed there, including Greta James who is a regular visitor here.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
The basic idea is to improve creativity by visually dislodging and breaking up the frozen clusters of words and images so that they interact in new ways. Doing Word Jumbles is my laboratory for this technique.
While you're over at Mystic Lit, do check out some of the other essays on writing. A lot of interesting writers have contributed there, including Greta James who is a regular visitor here.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
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