Recently a sign went up outside the place that I thought pretty bold, and delightful as well. The sign: "It's A Boy." And the little marquee was festooned with appropriate decorations.
It takes a bold biker to make a tender announcement.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
A Good Sign
A long-time biker bar (Hogs not ten-speeds) is on my route between home and office. I've never stopped there, though it has often crossed my mind.
Recently a sign went up outside the place that I thought pretty bold, and delightful as well. The sign: "It's A Boy." And the little marquee was festooned with appropriate decorations.
It takes a bold biker to make a tender announcement.
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Recently a sign went up outside the place that I thought pretty bold, and delightful as well. The sign: "It's A Boy." And the little marquee was festooned with appropriate decorations.
It takes a bold biker to make a tender announcement.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Obsessive-Compulsive Haircuts
My hairdresser, like me, has a touch of obsessive-compulsive disorder. So we tend to compare notes on meds and how we're doing.
Once she noted that we'd gone a whole haircut without touching the subject, and didn't that speak well of how we were both doing.
Today: haircut at 11:15. Forty-five minutes from now.
I'm doing fine with this OC stuff. And one small part of the reason is getting to talk about it as she and I do. Having a comrade-in-arms helps build all kinds of courage. And gets my bangs out of my eyes.
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Once she noted that we'd gone a whole haircut without touching the subject, and didn't that speak well of how we were both doing.
Today: haircut at 11:15. Forty-five minutes from now.
I'm doing fine with this OC stuff. And one small part of the reason is getting to talk about it as she and I do. Having a comrade-in-arms helps build all kinds of courage. And gets my bangs out of my eyes.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Courage to Face Death
Yesterday I was finishing an edit on a nonfiction book proposal from my three months in Varanasi, India. (I was there doing research for my novel, Sister India.)
In the proposal is a scene from the first time I visited "the burning place," the riverbank pyres where corpses are burned and ashes placed in the Ganges. Watching a human body catch fire is disturbing, even if it's a stranger, and seen briefly and from a little distance.
Hours after that experience, I felt as if the ballast in my interior was rolling around. I felt all atilt. I've read that material a number of times since. But yesterday it got to me again, as if I were seeing it for the first time.
The fact that we die and are physically destroyed is shocking. I find it incomprehensible.
We are all very brave to put up with it.
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In the proposal is a scene from the first time I visited "the burning place," the riverbank pyres where corpses are burned and ashes placed in the Ganges. Watching a human body catch fire is disturbing, even if it's a stranger, and seen briefly and from a little distance.
Hours after that experience, I felt as if the ballast in my interior was rolling around. I felt all atilt. I've read that material a number of times since. But yesterday it got to me again, as if I were seeing it for the first time.
The fact that we die and are physically destroyed is shocking. I find it incomprehensible.
We are all very brave to put up with it.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The Encouraging Largeness of the World
Foreign accents filter through the door from the office next to mine. My friend and colleague Carrie is taking part in a conference call/meeting. I think she's talking with Australians about some joint arts project.
I like hearing this murmur from the other side of the world. It reminds me that the world is large and the possibilities nearly infinite.
For a while when I was in my twenties, pre-Internet, whenever I felt low I went to a newsstand and bought a New York Times. It reminded me that the world was larger than whatever--
No, wait! The voices in the next room are from South Africa, I just heard a reference to Johannesburg.
Anyway, having a look at The Times reminded me that my options were larger than whatever limited set I was focused on that day. It inevitably worked, if only a little.
Yesterday I was posting about the power of following our particular passions where they lead, into deeper knowledge and engagement. Today, I remember that a wide view can also be greatly inspiring and exciting and en-couraging.
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I like hearing this murmur from the other side of the world. It reminds me that the world is large and the possibilities nearly infinite.
For a while when I was in my twenties, pre-Internet, whenever I felt low I went to a newsstand and bought a New York Times. It reminded me that the world was larger than whatever--
No, wait! The voices in the next room are from South Africa, I just heard a reference to Johannesburg.
Anyway, having a look at The Times reminded me that my options were larger than whatever limited set I was focused on that day. It inevitably worked, if only a little.
Yesterday I was posting about the power of following our particular passions where they lead, into deeper knowledge and engagement. Today, I remember that a wide view can also be greatly inspiring and exciting and en-couraging.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Follow Your Bliss
Follow an interest with passion and energy and it becomes very particular. Not just interest in dogs, but deepening interest in particular breeds or particular aspects of dog training or some such. Husband Bob is fascinated by big exotic breeds. Here's a Boerboel (a South African mastiff type) that we drove several hours to meet, never mind that we already have one at home.
I consider following an interest where it leads to be a bold and enriching exploration.
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I consider following an interest where it leads to be a bold and enriching exploration.
Monday, July 27, 2009
A Ten-Adventure Weekend
Just back from a 3-day weekend to the NC mountains and then to the Charlotte area with husband Bob. The itinerary was determined by two things he had in mind to do: go to a black-belt testing in Blowing Rock and then see some dogs at the home of a breeder who raises the same kind of exotic mastiffs he now has. (8 month old Aura is a Boerboel, which is a South African breed.)
My agenda was to hike in the mountains (that was Saturday) and to paddle my kayak in Lake Norman, the largest lake in the state, near Charlotte (that was Sunday). Today we had a spontaneous retail adventure in an Ikea, the bold Swedish business innovator that sells home and office stuff like nobody else in the world. I'd been to one once, Bob never had.
That worked out to three adventures for me, and four for Bob, and one more for each of us, if you count the rather intense conversation we had for an hour while waiting for check-in time at the Lake Norman Motel, Restaurant, and Marina to be ready. And possibly one more, if you count skidding in with minutes to spare in time for Bob to run his 5:30 psychotherapy group.
The number of adventures is my test of an excellent vacation. And it occurred to me this weekend that I could start looking at regular days that way as well.
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My agenda was to hike in the mountains (that was Saturday) and to paddle my kayak in Lake Norman, the largest lake in the state, near Charlotte (that was Sunday). Today we had a spontaneous retail adventure in an Ikea, the bold Swedish business innovator that sells home and office stuff like nobody else in the world. I'd been to one once, Bob never had.
That worked out to three adventures for me, and four for Bob, and one more for each of us, if you count the rather intense conversation we had for an hour while waiting for check-in time at the Lake Norman Motel, Restaurant, and Marina to be ready. And possibly one more, if you count skidding in with minutes to spare in time for Bob to run his 5:30 psychotherapy group.
The number of adventures is my test of an excellent vacation. And it occurred to me this weekend that I could start looking at regular days that way as well.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Adapt or Revolt?
"What shall we think of a well-adjusted slave?"
--Abraham Maslow
The answer to that question is not simple. In some situations, coping and making-the-best-of is all that can be done. And what's important is to avoid lingering shame at having done no more.
Other times, adapting is copping out.
How to tell the difference? I think we know in our guts which is which.
One exception: things that kids do to cope get a pass. As kids we simply don't have the resources to do everything we think we should have done back then.
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--Abraham Maslow
The answer to that question is not simple. In some situations, coping and making-the-best-of is all that can be done. And what's important is to avoid lingering shame at having done no more.
Other times, adapting is copping out.
How to tell the difference? I think we know in our guts which is which.
One exception: things that kids do to cope get a pass. As kids we simply don't have the resources to do everything we think we should have done back then.
Starting the Day Stupid
Overslept. By two hours! Then forgot I'd had a morning appointment at Autologic about a car problem. Then stumbled around trying to make sense of things. Finally, rolled out toward car shop and the rest of the day.
Now it's just past noon. People at AutoLogic quickly did the necessary check, and I was out of there and on to the next thing, as if I'd started the day in a smart and organized and capable way.
It's tempting (for me at least) in the case of a screwup, to say: the hell with it, today's shot, or at least the car repair venture is. I try to rememember at such moments, large or small, that order may be reclaimable: do what I can as fast as I can.
Sometimes when I've dropped something valuable and fragile, I have a quarter-second thought: that's lost; and I'm already starting to grieve before it hits the floor. And then the next quarter-second thought kicks in and I grab it and sometimes "save the day".
Important to remember: first do what can be done, on matters large and small.
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Now it's just past noon. People at AutoLogic quickly did the necessary check, and I was out of there and on to the next thing, as if I'd started the day in a smart and organized and capable way.
It's tempting (for me at least) in the case of a screwup, to say: the hell with it, today's shot, or at least the car repair venture is. I try to rememember at such moments, large or small, that order may be reclaimable: do what I can as fast as I can.
Sometimes when I've dropped something valuable and fragile, I have a quarter-second thought: that's lost; and I'm already starting to grieve before it hits the floor. And then the next quarter-second thought kicks in and I grab it and sometimes "save the day".
Important to remember: first do what can be done, on matters large and small.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Degrees of Anxiety
"Most people believe only in degrees of jeopardy and live in degrees of greater and lesser anxiety, but never in true relaxation."
quoted on Gaiam
from Paul Richards, co-author with Patricia Richards of Wild Attraction, a Ruthlessly Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationship- a book about the effects of subtle energy on relationships.
Note from Peggy: It never occurred to me that what I think of as relaxation might be merely a reduction in tension. Maybe this relaxation is a place I've never visited. Will explore further.
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quoted on Gaiam
from Paul Richards, co-author with Patricia Richards of Wild Attraction, a Ruthlessly Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationship- a book about the effects of subtle energy on relationships.
Note from Peggy: It never occurred to me that what I think of as relaxation might be merely a reduction in tension. Maybe this relaxation is a place I've never visited. Will explore further.
Risk Analysis
Going to the moon probably requires some boldness.
The 40th anniversary of the first moon landing was yesterday. I was twenty when it happened and it still seems unbelievable to me that anyone has done that. I like the idea that something can be permanently amazing. And that anyone has the nerve to visit another celestial body. Or to put up with a loved one making the trip.
I doubt if I'm going to the moon. Not my brand of gumption. Not what I'd risk everything for.
It's not that we have a finite quantity of courage and if we use it up it's gone. Quite the reverse. Bravery, even in small daily things, engenders more of the same.
But risk is another matter altogether. Lots of things that require some nerve--making a difficult phone call, perhaps--don't have any real risk. I once knew a fellow travel writer who waited as late as possible to head out to the airport for a flight; so there was always a mad rush on the road. She did it on purpose, saying she was "a risk-taker." I thought that was pretty stupid.
She was risking missing the flight. The gain was a few more minutes at home. Not a good trade-off.
When faced with something that scares me, the real risk involved is one thing I think about. That, and the potential gain.
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The 40th anniversary of the first moon landing was yesterday. I was twenty when it happened and it still seems unbelievable to me that anyone has done that. I like the idea that something can be permanently amazing. And that anyone has the nerve to visit another celestial body. Or to put up with a loved one making the trip.
I doubt if I'm going to the moon. Not my brand of gumption. Not what I'd risk everything for.
It's not that we have a finite quantity of courage and if we use it up it's gone. Quite the reverse. Bravery, even in small daily things, engenders more of the same.
But risk is another matter altogether. Lots of things that require some nerve--making a difficult phone call, perhaps--don't have any real risk. I once knew a fellow travel writer who waited as late as possible to head out to the airport for a flight; so there was always a mad rush on the road. She did it on purpose, saying she was "a risk-taker." I thought that was pretty stupid.
She was risking missing the flight. The gain was a few more minutes at home. Not a good trade-off.
When faced with something that scares me, the real risk involved is one thing I think about. That, and the potential gain.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Media Trend: Tough Women Who Triumph
"Getting By With Brassiness" was the headline of the story in my local News and Observer yesterday.
It pointed out a change that I'm surprised I haven't noticed: the string of new female lead characters who are gutsy and tough, yet still star. They're not fallen women, or drugged-out, or whores with hearts of whatever. They're clear-eyed and outspoken, see the emperor's new clothes, and yet they don't get punished for it. They're attractive women.
Edie Falco as Jackie is one. I always thought she was sturdy and attractive as Carmella Soprano; I even named my 1992 flower-painted gotta-keep-on-ticking automobile Car-mella Camry.
But as Nurse Jackie, Mon Dieu! What a force! And yet still feminine and a healer.
This is delightful progress, both on TV and in books: "The new breed of brash, audacious woman has pushed into literature as well. Lisbeth Salander, heroine of the best-selling mystery novel The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, is 'prickly and irksome' but somehow still alluring: 'She was like a nagging itch, repellent and at the same time tempting,' the narrator notes in the book by the late Stieg Larsson, published last month in paperback by Vintage."
Not that I wish to be a nettlesome person myself. Or brusque or brassy or even no-nonsense.
But I like the fact that I have that choice, and that the freedom doesn't have to come at such a devastating cost as one's femininity or a happy ending.
Here's to Julia Keller of The Chicago Tribune who noticed and wrote the syndicated article.
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It pointed out a change that I'm surprised I haven't noticed: the string of new female lead characters who are gutsy and tough, yet still star. They're not fallen women, or drugged-out, or whores with hearts of whatever. They're clear-eyed and outspoken, see the emperor's new clothes, and yet they don't get punished for it. They're attractive women.
Edie Falco as Jackie is one. I always thought she was sturdy and attractive as Carmella Soprano; I even named my 1992 flower-painted gotta-keep-on-ticking automobile Car-mella Camry.
But as Nurse Jackie, Mon Dieu! What a force! And yet still feminine and a healer.
This is delightful progress, both on TV and in books: "The new breed of brash, audacious woman has pushed into literature as well. Lisbeth Salander, heroine of the best-selling mystery novel The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, is 'prickly and irksome' but somehow still alluring: 'She was like a nagging itch, repellent and at the same time tempting,' the narrator notes in the book by the late Stieg Larsson, published last month in paperback by Vintage."
Not that I wish to be a nettlesome person myself. Or brusque or brassy or even no-nonsense.
But I like the fact that I have that choice, and that the freedom doesn't have to come at such a devastating cost as one's femininity or a happy ending.
Here's to Julia Keller of The Chicago Tribune who noticed and wrote the syndicated article.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sports and Lipstick...at Any Age
My elderly husband (67) and I (60) had dinner in a sports bar Friday night, the Salem Street Pub. I never did that before--though I once edited a story that importantly took place in one--and didn't do it this time on purpose. It looked like a cafe sort of place, and the patty melt had been reviewed as the best in my local three-city area.
It was very, very loud. There were many large TV screens showing different kinds of games.
And it was kinda cool, though I've never been much for spectator sports. Women's fastpitch softball was an inspiration. I was pleased to see that one excellent batter was wearing make-up. I love the idea that you have don't have to give up lipstick to play ball. That we can combine whatever elements suit us individually, which makes the terrain more interesting for everyone.
The patty melt was excellent, too.
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It was very, very loud. There were many large TV screens showing different kinds of games.
And it was kinda cool, though I've never been much for spectator sports. Women's fastpitch softball was an inspiration. I was pleased to see that one excellent batter was wearing make-up. I love the idea that you have don't have to give up lipstick to play ball. That we can combine whatever elements suit us individually, which makes the terrain more interesting for everyone.
The patty melt was excellent, too.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
In a Maslow Mood
The famous "growth psychologist": Abraham Maslow is someone who is in huge agreement with me (but he got there first.) He's the guy who went global with the idea of "self-actualization." Another guy, Kurt Goldstein, actually came up with the idea.
It's not a very sexy term, but it's a dazzling goal. Essentially, it's making the choices and doing the things that will best lead us each toward full potential, in mind, body, and spirit, in work and in love. Who could argue with that?
On the other hand, who consistently lives by it? Maybe two percent of us do it most of the time, Maslow said at one point. And that's partly because much of the world's population is occupied with trying to be safe and well-fed, which has to come first.
But even on a full stomach, it's not so easy. I find that some of his bits of wisdom remind me of my self-actualizing intentions. Here are a couple of my favored Maslow quotes:
“We fear to know the fearsome and unsavory aspects of ourselves, but we fear even more to know the godlike in ourselves.”
“The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short.”
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It's not a very sexy term, but it's a dazzling goal. Essentially, it's making the choices and doing the things that will best lead us each toward full potential, in mind, body, and spirit, in work and in love. Who could argue with that?
On the other hand, who consistently lives by it? Maybe two percent of us do it most of the time, Maslow said at one point. And that's partly because much of the world's population is occupied with trying to be safe and well-fed, which has to come first.
But even on a full stomach, it's not so easy. I find that some of his bits of wisdom remind me of my self-actualizing intentions. Here are a couple of my favored Maslow quotes:
“We fear to know the fearsome and unsavory aspects of ourselves, but we fear even more to know the godlike in ourselves.”
“The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short.”
Friday, July 17, 2009
Brass
Browsing the magazine-swap corner at my local library, I ran across a small treasure that I, a magazine junkie, had never heard of: Brass Magazine. Publishing for five years, it appears to be a financial/inspirational magazine for young people. Mantra: "young today * rich tomorrow."
If it were just about money in conventional numerical terms, an old English major like me would be bored. But I started freelancing full-time when I was 22 (that's 38years ago now), and I could have used this info and encouragement about running my one-person business. (My best help on this was my entrepreneur mom, but at that age I wasn't greatly inclined to seek too much help from a parent.)
In the Feb. 2007 issue I picked up, the point seemed to be helping people get started at "doing their thing" and doing good as well as well. And the cover story was about, of all things, a poet, Carlos Andres Gomez!
The column "I'm Young, Not Dumb" by CEO Bryan Sims showed some of the ironic difficulties the young entrepreneur faces. When he applied as a student for "independent" study credit for running his own business, he was asked to call the work an internship and have one of his "more experienced" employees to sign off as his supervisor.
The advice he gives: "...We all find ourselves in frustrating situations that seem unfair. Keep going. And along the way, make sure you don't make the same mistakes. Don't judge people by their appearance or age...And if someone tells you your dreams are impossible, go do something about it. Go prove them wrong."
I need to be reminded myself not to discriminate based on age; I very often make negative assumptions about people under twelve who are not my nephews.
Probably most of us can use some encouragement to keep on paddling toward our dreams. Might be some help also to people of any age who are still novices at the financial part of dream-realization.
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If it were just about money in conventional numerical terms, an old English major like me would be bored. But I started freelancing full-time when I was 22 (that's 38years ago now), and I could have used this info and encouragement about running my one-person business. (My best help on this was my entrepreneur mom, but at that age I wasn't greatly inclined to seek too much help from a parent.)
In the Feb. 2007 issue I picked up, the point seemed to be helping people get started at "doing their thing" and doing good as well as well. And the cover story was about, of all things, a poet, Carlos Andres Gomez!
The column "I'm Young, Not Dumb" by CEO Bryan Sims showed some of the ironic difficulties the young entrepreneur faces. When he applied as a student for "independent" study credit for running his own business, he was asked to call the work an internship and have one of his "more experienced" employees to sign off as his supervisor.
The advice he gives: "...We all find ourselves in frustrating situations that seem unfair. Keep going. And along the way, make sure you don't make the same mistakes. Don't judge people by their appearance or age...And if someone tells you your dreams are impossible, go do something about it. Go prove them wrong."
I need to be reminded myself not to discriminate based on age; I very often make negative assumptions about people under twelve who are not my nephews.
Probably most of us can use some encouragement to keep on paddling toward our dreams. Might be some help also to people of any age who are still novices at the financial part of dream-realization.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Split Personality
Overtly being oneself is a great thing and necessary, I think, for a happy life and having any kind of satisfying success in the world.
At the same time, I'd like to think it was possible for all of me to fit in at one place sometimes. With my most high-serious chums, the flip, brash part of my nature kicks in; I'm all McDonald's and bubblegum music. On the other hand, with my most unhesitating, just-do-it, no-nonsense friends, I'm more likely to become Ms. Brooding Artist.
Probably just a playing out of my own conflict about having such disparate halves. I'm actually pleased that it's so, serves me well in a lot of ways. But it creates a sort of friction too; I'm ever pulling the wrong club out of my golf bag. And, curiously, doing it on purpose.
Decades ago, I told my therapist Nick Stratas as we walked out his office door that I had a strong identification with two people: 1) his famous-opera-singer sister Teresa Stratas and 2) the then-governor of North Carolina, Jim Hunt. Different jobs. And it would appear, very different temperaments. Therapist's response in short: "inner conflict."
I had the same conversation around that time with my brother Franc Payne; I told him that my problem was that I had our father's tumultuous interior and our mother's stoic exterior. He said, "you've got your daddy's hormones and your mama's Methodism." Neither of those descriptions do justice to either of our parents. But they do make a fair sketch of me. I'm assuming something of this sort of mixed-bag-ness is true for everyone. Which is one of the challenges of "being one's self."
How about you? How many people do you embody? Or do you feel yourself to be all-of-a-piece?
(In any event, thanks for listening. This has been a great relief.)
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At the same time, I'd like to think it was possible for all of me to fit in at one place sometimes. With my most high-serious chums, the flip, brash part of my nature kicks in; I'm all McDonald's and bubblegum music. On the other hand, with my most unhesitating, just-do-it, no-nonsense friends, I'm more likely to become Ms. Brooding Artist.
Probably just a playing out of my own conflict about having such disparate halves. I'm actually pleased that it's so, serves me well in a lot of ways. But it creates a sort of friction too; I'm ever pulling the wrong club out of my golf bag. And, curiously, doing it on purpose.
Decades ago, I told my therapist Nick Stratas as we walked out his office door that I had a strong identification with two people: 1) his famous-opera-singer sister Teresa Stratas and 2) the then-governor of North Carolina, Jim Hunt. Different jobs. And it would appear, very different temperaments. Therapist's response in short: "inner conflict."
I had the same conversation around that time with my brother Franc Payne; I told him that my problem was that I had our father's tumultuous interior and our mother's stoic exterior. He said, "you've got your daddy's hormones and your mama's Methodism." Neither of those descriptions do justice to either of our parents. But they do make a fair sketch of me. I'm assuming something of this sort of mixed-bag-ness is true for everyone. Which is one of the challenges of "being one's self."
How about you? How many people do you embody? Or do you feel yourself to be all-of-a-piece?
(In any event, thanks for listening. This has been a great relief.)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
A Writer's Platform
I've just discovered a book I'm wildly excited about: Get Known Before the Book Deal: Use Your Personal Strengths to Grow an Author Platform.
This addresses what seems to be a Catch-22 for a lot of writers at various career stages: the current need to be semi-famous in your field to help an agent sell the book. The author has to bring ever more to the table in the way of a waiting audience.
This book is the best thinking I've seen on the subject of how to do it. And it's aimed at both fiction and nonfiction, extrovert and introvert. You don't have to be techie to understand it. And it doesn't make me feel bad, as some experts do, that I haven't done all the suggested things already.
Author Christina Katz, also known as Writer Mama, has been "Empowering Writers Since 1998."
You'll likely be hearing more about this book from me. Or maybe you'll just see the dazzling results.
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This addresses what seems to be a Catch-22 for a lot of writers at various career stages: the current need to be semi-famous in your field to help an agent sell the book. The author has to bring ever more to the table in the way of a waiting audience.
This book is the best thinking I've seen on the subject of how to do it. And it's aimed at both fiction and nonfiction, extrovert and introvert. You don't have to be techie to understand it. And it doesn't make me feel bad, as some experts do, that I haven't done all the suggested things already.
Author Christina Katz, also known as Writer Mama, has been "Empowering Writers Since 1998."
You'll likely be hearing more about this book from me. Or maybe you'll just see the dazzling results.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
"...There Are Always Difficulties..."
"Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them."
Ralph Waldo Emerson discovered at Wisdom for the Soul
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Ralph Waldo Emerson discovered at Wisdom for the Soul
Monday, July 13, 2009
She Writes
For women writers: a brand-new info, networking, and promotion resource, SheWrites.com has gathered 5 short of 2,000 members in its first two weeks. I joined. I think you might find it inspiring, useful, and one more place to "show your stuff."
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Frost's Freedom
Today's inspiration:
Freedom lies in being bold. ~ Robert Frost
from: Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching
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Freedom lies in being bold. ~ Robert Frost
from: Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Climb Every Mountain?
"When a door opens, walk through it. Trust that the door has opened for a reason and you have been guided to it....Every time we walk through an open door, we create a sense memory that encourages us to move into the new fearlessly. When we enter the new space, we almost always feel a thrill and a new feeling of confidence, in ourselves and in the universe."
From Friday's Daily Om
I'm not so sure about this one. I made a vow years ago to refrain from taking dares; they tend to lead me in the wrong direction.
On the other hand, when a door opens and I feel I might not go through it because of fear, then I force myself. I had some hesitation about taking on co-authorship of The Healing Power of Doing Good. A buddy of mine said to me as we stood in the line at the K&W Cafeteria: "Don't weird out on this." I'm glad I didn't.
What do you think about this walk-through-every-door idea? Am I just taking this too literally? If I pay attention, I can see that doors are opening every day and it's impossible to go through all of them.
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From Friday's Daily Om
I'm not so sure about this one. I made a vow years ago to refrain from taking dares; they tend to lead me in the wrong direction.
On the other hand, when a door opens and I feel I might not go through it because of fear, then I force myself. I had some hesitation about taking on co-authorship of The Healing Power of Doing Good. A buddy of mine said to me as we stood in the line at the K&W Cafeteria: "Don't weird out on this." I'm glad I didn't.
What do you think about this walk-through-every-door idea? Am I just taking this too literally? If I pay attention, I can see that doors are opening every day and it's impossible to go through all of them.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Hot Pink
Hanging over my office building's door this morning. 
Even the gentlest pastel can go bold.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
The Courage To Hand Out Hamburgers
I've long thought that the people who work the fast-food drive-through windows are superheroes. They have to take an order at the same time they're delivering another order and making change. If I hadn't seen it a thousand times, I'd swear it was humanly impossible. I think it takes a lot of gumption to take up that kind of juggling at all.
There are a examples everywhere of such everyday courage. Flipping through an old Sun magazine last night, I ran across an essay about the kind of emotional fuel such work requires.
From "They Always Call You 'Miss'" by Alison Clement:
"There's more to waiting tables than you might think. It takes courage, for one thing. You walk up to a table, and everyone turns to look at you, as if you're about to deliver the opening line of a play....You have to act as if you know what you're doing and everything is going according to a plan....You have to remember: Gin and tonic to table 8; man at 12 is late for a meeting; nut allergy on 5. You have to remember it all and not get overwhelmed."
If I start to feel down on human nature, I think about the ordinary things that people muster the courage to do every day.
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There are a examples everywhere of such everyday courage. Flipping through an old Sun magazine last night, I ran across an essay about the kind of emotional fuel such work requires.
From "They Always Call You 'Miss'" by Alison Clement:
"There's more to waiting tables than you might think. It takes courage, for one thing. You walk up to a table, and everyone turns to look at you, as if you're about to deliver the opening line of a play....You have to act as if you know what you're doing and everything is going according to a plan....You have to remember: Gin and tonic to table 8; man at 12 is late for a meeting; nut allergy on 5. You have to remember it all and not get overwhelmed."
If I start to feel down on human nature, I think about the ordinary things that people muster the courage to do every day.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Courage Quote
Offered by Mamie, the Quote Queen:
The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
- John Lancaster Spalding, First Bishop of Peoria, 1840-1916.
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The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
- John Lancaster Spalding, First Bishop of Peoria, 1840-1916.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
The Many Brands of Courage
What's bold for one person is routine for another. We all know that, but I find it so easy to forget--until once again I see someone confidently run a multi-team project that would make me want to retire to a quiet room like a rock singer with exhaustion. Or until I see someone quaking over something I don't blink at--like flying or public speaking.
I find it very hard to wrap my mind around being worried about flying. No effort is necessary, no getting-it-right. One need only sit there and flip through a magazine. To understand that kind of fear, I need the sharp memory of some of my own kinds of nervousness: about entertaining, or being a house guest, or steering someone wrong somehow. Those are stupid fears, the first two anyway.
We all manage to do and finally enjoy things we're scared of. It's a triumph we ought to give ourselves credit for. And it's a marvel and a delight how differently we're each put together.
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I find it very hard to wrap my mind around being worried about flying. No effort is necessary, no getting-it-right. One need only sit there and flip through a magazine. To understand that kind of fear, I need the sharp memory of some of my own kinds of nervousness: about entertaining, or being a house guest, or steering someone wrong somehow. Those are stupid fears, the first two anyway.
We all manage to do and finally enjoy things we're scared of. It's a triumph we ought to give ourselves credit for. And it's a marvel and a delight how differently we're each put together.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Gavriel Lipkind, Carrie Knowles, and the B.C.O.
I don't know how to say this properly, because I know so little about classical music. I'm a fan of hip-hop and old rock and roll. I play the serious stuff mainly as background while I'm reading, and go to classical concerts mainly to get dressed up and go out on the town with friends and sit under nice chandeliers and listen to pretty music that I don't usually recognize.
But last night I went to a concert that was extraordinary. Even for a clunk like me.
Israeli cellist Gavriel Lipkind played with the Brussels Chamber Orchestra (of Belgium) in Raleigh in the official opening night of the Cross Currents Chamber Music Arts Festival, an international chamber music festival created and put on single-handedly by my friend and office partner Carrie Knowles whose son Neil Leiter plays viola in the Brussels group.
For most of the last year, Carrie has sat in the office next to mine and raised money and gotten visas and such and made this ten-day festival happen. What she has done is an amazing demonstration of what one person can accomplish (in spite of my telling her repeatedly and unhelpfully that she was mad to attempt such a thing. Just watching the process from next door was like having an office next to a heliport)
Well, the Brussels Chamber Orchestra, a conductor-free group of a dozen or so young musicians from half a dozen countries, played beautifully and were intriguing to watch. Then they brought out their soloist, Lipkind, whom I'd had no special interest in because I was mainly listening for Neil whom I've known since he was a wee fellow. The Belgium-based musicians had met the Israeli cellist in Norway.
Lipkind and the BCO together were an astonishing treat. And at intermission, I caught sight of Mamie, a regular here, who called out: I'm looking forward to reading about how bold he is.
I hadn't even thought about writing of the experience. Sitting on the second row, I was too overwhelmed. Lipkind, in a black "bat" shirt and long gold curls, is the most physically expressive, playful, and joyous musician I've ever seen. It's not reaching for a metaphor to say that he was making love to the music.
I can't tell you a thing about his or anyone's pizzicati (and I'm not sure if that's a word or if it's a word meaning little pasta), but it was thrilling music to watch and to listen to. And the interaction between him and the other musicians was like watching a celestial drama.
Seriously bold. Nobody holding back.
And this group of musicians and Carrie did their job well, at least in my case, since it's part of their mission to bring chamber music to new audiences.
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But last night I went to a concert that was extraordinary. Even for a clunk like me.
Israeli cellist Gavriel Lipkind played with the Brussels Chamber Orchestra (of Belgium) in Raleigh in the official opening night of the Cross Currents Chamber Music Arts Festival, an international chamber music festival created and put on single-handedly by my friend and office partner Carrie Knowles whose son Neil Leiter plays viola in the Brussels group.
For most of the last year, Carrie has sat in the office next to mine and raised money and gotten visas and such and made this ten-day festival happen. What she has done is an amazing demonstration of what one person can accomplish (in spite of my telling her repeatedly and unhelpfully that she was mad to attempt such a thing. Just watching the process from next door was like having an office next to a heliport)
Well, the Brussels Chamber Orchestra, a conductor-free group of a dozen or so young musicians from half a dozen countries, played beautifully and were intriguing to watch. Then they brought out their soloist, Lipkind, whom I'd had no special interest in because I was mainly listening for Neil whom I've known since he was a wee fellow. The Belgium-based musicians had met the Israeli cellist in Norway.
Lipkind and the BCO together were an astonishing treat. And at intermission, I caught sight of Mamie, a regular here, who called out: I'm looking forward to reading about how bold he is.
I hadn't even thought about writing of the experience. Sitting on the second row, I was too overwhelmed. Lipkind, in a black "bat" shirt and long gold curls, is the most physically expressive, playful, and joyous musician I've ever seen. It's not reaching for a metaphor to say that he was making love to the music.
I can't tell you a thing about his or anyone's pizzicati (and I'm not sure if that's a word or if it's a word meaning little pasta), but it was thrilling music to watch and to listen to. And the interaction between him and the other musicians was like watching a celestial drama.
Seriously bold. Nobody holding back.
And this group of musicians and Carrie did their job well, at least in my case, since it's part of their mission to bring chamber music to new audiences.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
An Annual Celebration of Courage
The Fourth of July is a celebration of boldness. From one year to the next, I forget that it’s more than a day that the mail doesn’t come, more than a day of vacation. (Though I’m self-employed, I generally loaf on the same days the rest of my world does.)
But yesterday both Prairie Home Companion and the celebration on the Mall in D.C. stirred once again my pride in the best of the U.S., and that includes having shaken loose to become an independent nation. It took some serious and costly shaking to make that happen. Some of my scrappy old relatives were in on it—all but one on the side of Independence (and that one Royalist had to have had a bold streak as well).
This legacy isn’t all good; one of the same relatives led a company of soldiers that destroyed several Native American villages.
I’ll probably never pick up a musket myself—or a handgun. I’m lucky never to have been faced with the decision. A big piece of that “luck” is that others have insured my independence. My responsibility is merely to have the courage to fully—and wisely—use it. Once again, the fireworks and the music remind me.
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But yesterday both Prairie Home Companion and the celebration on the Mall in D.C. stirred once again my pride in the best of the U.S., and that includes having shaken loose to become an independent nation. It took some serious and costly shaking to make that happen. Some of my scrappy old relatives were in on it—all but one on the side of Independence (and that one Royalist had to have had a bold streak as well).
This legacy isn’t all good; one of the same relatives led a company of soldiers that destroyed several Native American villages.
I’ll probably never pick up a musket myself—or a handgun. I’m lucky never to have been faced with the decision. A big piece of that “luck” is that others have insured my independence. My responsibility is merely to have the courage to fully—and wisely—use it. Once again, the fireworks and the music remind me.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Ropes Courses and Such
I have a friend who, with her husband, has raised three exceptional children. One of her philosophies is, instead of giving children toys, to give them "real things." They didn't do skateboards or TV (except for the World Series). But if a kid wanted a banjo, he got a real one, not a baby version. And instead of playing board games of risk, he competed by volunteering in a real political campaign.
I thought of this again when I saw last week in my local paper a story on mountain climbing as a way to develop the goal orientation and other qualities needed to start a business. My philosophy is: skip the mountain challenge (unless you're in it for the fun) and go straight to starting the business.
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I thought of this again when I saw last week in my local paper a story on mountain climbing as a way to develop the goal orientation and other qualities needed to start a business. My philosophy is: skip the mountain challenge (unless you're in it for the fun) and go straight to starting the business.
"The Man on The Radio in the Red Shoes"
A stirring way to celebrate the bold occasion of Independence Day: Prairie Home Companion's live show tomorrow at 5:00 Central Time in the Wobegon-like town of Avon, Minnesota. The program also celebrates the 35th anniversary of Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home creation, as well as "the birth of freedom," as GK says on the promo on the website. For those who can make their way to Avon, the show is free, as it also is on its regular NPR stations.
And if you're a GK fan, as I am, make sure to see the new documentary on his life: The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes. It aired two night ago on PBS' American Masters series, and you can order the DVD. This portrait shows a bold imagination at work and will at the same time make you feel happy to be American and human.
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And if you're a GK fan, as I am, make sure to see the new documentary on his life: The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes. It aired two night ago on PBS' American Masters series, and you can order the DVD. This portrait shows a bold imagination at work and will at the same time make you feel happy to be American and human.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Call Your Congressman Monday
An invitation arrived here that's open to anyone who has things to say about improved health insurance coverage:
"Event: National Strike for Health Care Reform
"Put an end to murder by spreadsheet. Demand an alternative to private, for-profit health insurance. Demand public, universal health care coverage."
What: Protest
Host: You -- and as many fellow citizens as you can assemble
Start Time: Monday, July 6 at 8:00am
End Time: Monday, July 6 at 6:00pm
Where: Everywhere in the United States of America
To see more details and RSVP, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?event.php&eid=93893269141&mid=a8e182G4b0e108aG8f29dbG7"
I don't have a detailed plan in mind myself for health care insurance reform. But I know for sure that we need it.
This invitation, as you'll see if you follow the link, suggests staying home from work and buying nothing and calling Congressmen all day.
I disagree, especially in this economy, with the idea of skipping out on a job and boycotting already-endangered retailers.
I do heartily endorse the idea of a nation-wide call-in insisting on reform that makes sure everybody has good affordable health insurance, with coverage that is pro-health rather than a Catch-22 system where, for example, it's impossible to know whether a procedure is covered until it's done.
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"Event: National Strike for Health Care Reform
"Put an end to murder by spreadsheet. Demand an alternative to private, for-profit health insurance. Demand public, universal health care coverage."
What: Protest
Host: You -- and as many fellow citizens as you can assemble
Start Time: Monday, July 6 at 8:00am
End Time: Monday, July 6 at 6:00pm
Where: Everywhere in the United States of America
To see more details and RSVP, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?event.php&eid=93893269141&mid=a8e182G4b0e108aG8f29dbG7"
I don't have a detailed plan in mind myself for health care insurance reform. But I know for sure that we need it.
This invitation, as you'll see if you follow the link, suggests staying home from work and buying nothing and calling Congressmen all day.
I disagree, especially in this economy, with the idea of skipping out on a job and boycotting already-endangered retailers.
I do heartily endorse the idea of a nation-wide call-in insisting on reform that makes sure everybody has good affordable health insurance, with coverage that is pro-health rather than a Catch-22 system where, for example, it's impossible to know whether a procedure is covered until it's done.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Making Waves
Out in my kayak on Jordan Lake on Sunday, I made several dozen efforts to shoot a picture of a wave.
This is not an ocean wave. It's a lake wave on a fairly calm day; mostly it's wake from a motorboat. But up close from a little rubber boat, such waves can look and feel pretty impressive.
Which is how it is with making waves in daily life. Moments of unaccustomed speaking up can seem huge, disruptive. But the water does calm down again.
Water movement in a pond can make life better there; keeps it from getting stagnant.
(Speaking of appearances, the water in this lake is more blue-brown than cerulean most of the time. I didn't see it as this blue when I was taking this picture. And I didn't enhance the color of the photo with my computer. Just a bit of kayaking magic, I guess.)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Busy Reading Manuscripts
Today's the last day of my Big Bold Sale, after having cut my prices for manuscript critiques by 40% for these past four weeks of June.
Now I'm reading and reading. I'm glad to be doing the work, and it's nice to make a Bold Gesture and get big response. I've met some new writers from both halves of the globe (all English-speaking) and heard from a lot of people I've worked with before.
So now there's the matter of finishing the work itself, which feels not so much bold as step by step by step. That's what often happens, I think, when a Bold Move turns out well.
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Now I'm reading and reading. I'm glad to be doing the work, and it's nice to make a Bold Gesture and get big response. I've met some new writers from both halves of the globe (all English-speaking) and heard from a lot of people I've worked with before.
So now there's the matter of finishing the work itself, which feels not so much bold as step by step by step. That's what often happens, I think, when a Bold Move turns out well.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Bloom Whereever You're Rolling
I'm fond of cars that are highly personalized, having done shocking things to my own '92 Camry, my "shabby chic" artcar.
Last week, teaching at Meredith, I had the pleasure of parking next to an especially jaunty and charming one. Its owner, writer Beth Browne, bought it with its decorations already attached; however, it seemed to have been designed specifically for her. Imagine every car in a parking lot being a personal work of art. There'd be an ever-changing party in every lot.
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Last week, teaching at Meredith, I had the pleasure of parking next to an especially jaunty and charming one. Its owner, writer Beth Browne, bought it with its decorations already attached; however, it seemed to have been designed specifically for her. Imagine every car in a parking lot being a personal work of art. There'd be an ever-changing party in every lot.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Boldly Catching Up
Just slept 11 hours. The last week, with the five-day, nine-to-three workshop plus a few other things happening and coming due, was intense. When I woke up midday today, I thought: is there anything better than this? the luxury of lying here?
A friend once said that she enjoyed being tired once she gave in to it. I don't at first, because at first it feels like illness. But being well into recovery feels great. And I'll be back to full steam probably late this afternoon when I get out in my little paddle boat. All emails to be returned tomorrow.
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A friend once said that she enjoyed being tired once she gave in to it. I don't at first, because at first it feels like illness. But being well into recovery feels great. And I'll be back to full steam probably late this afternoon when I get out in my little paddle boat. All emails to be returned tomorrow.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Parting
Saying good-bye makes me nervous. Maybe it's because it's the last chance to have everything said, at least for a while.
Today was the last of my 5-day workshop at Meredith on writing fiction. I've spent 35 hours with this group of writers in the last week, and, inevitably, we talk about some fairly intimate stuff. Writing brings that sort of thing out.
So it feels strange to finish the last lunch and maybe not see some of them again at all. My impulse is to dodge good-bye, grab up my picnic-basket-briefcase and run.
Maybe somewhere there are workshops in saying goodbye. Perfectly reasonable that such a thing would exist. If we can take lessons in leadership and assertiveness and stopping smoking, surely it's possible.
Probably lesson number one is: pause and at least say something before running out the door. I'm happy to say I did boldly manage to do that much.
It's so hard to know what to do with emotion, at least for chatty introverts like me.
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Today was the last of my 5-day workshop at Meredith on writing fiction. I've spent 35 hours with this group of writers in the last week, and, inevitably, we talk about some fairly intimate stuff. Writing brings that sort of thing out.
So it feels strange to finish the last lunch and maybe not see some of them again at all. My impulse is to dodge good-bye, grab up my picnic-basket-briefcase and run.
Maybe somewhere there are workshops in saying goodbye. Perfectly reasonable that such a thing would exist. If we can take lessons in leadership and assertiveness and stopping smoking, surely it's possible.
Probably lesson number one is: pause and at least say something before running out the door. I'm happy to say I did boldly manage to do that much.
It's so hard to know what to do with emotion, at least for chatty introverts like me.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Refreshing Without Relaxing
This week of teaching regular hours is both a break in my usual routines and a much more regimented new routine. The class day runs from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., with a nice lunch buffet at noon.
Unlike my usual daily arrival at my office, I have to get to the classroom on time, stop for lunch at the assigned time, and then wrap it up at the expected moment. I'm not used to thinking: mustn't be late, or having the pleasure of the sudden school's-out feelig when the class ends. Usually I leave my office between 7 and 8 at night and usually I'm in the middle of something; it's not with a sense of completion that I go.
Also a change, I'm driving to a different location this week, a different set of flowers and stoplights and vistas and traffic bumps.
The brief change even toward stricter routine is refreshing. I'm not one who thinks all change is good, but temporary change can certainly help to clear the haze off the vision. It's worth getting up the energy to make such changes for ourselves.
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Unlike my usual daily arrival at my office, I have to get to the classroom on time, stop for lunch at the assigned time, and then wrap it up at the expected moment. I'm not used to thinking: mustn't be late, or having the pleasure of the sudden school's-out feelig when the class ends. Usually I leave my office between 7 and 8 at night and usually I'm in the middle of something; it's not with a sense of completion that I go.
Also a change, I'm driving to a different location this week, a different set of flowers and stoplights and vistas and traffic bumps.
The brief change even toward stricter routine is refreshing. I'm not one who thinks all change is good, but temporary change can certainly help to clear the haze off the vision. It's worth getting up the energy to make such changes for ourselves.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Free to Pontificate
Useful talk today in the writing workshop I'm leading this week at Meredith College--useful for me, as it happens. We were talking about writing dialogue, and the vocabulary and sentence construction that makes a person sound authoritative or timid.
I said I use "I think..." too much before making my pronouncements while giving feedback on people's work. What I'm trying to do is not be bossy, which my younger brothers have observed I'm capable of. But I overdo the soft-pedaling. One of the writers in the group said she doesn't need all that I-think kind of preamble.
What a relief to hear someone say that. Now I feel free to be as bossy and commanding/assertive as I want to, since others do know without my telling them that they are free write any way they want.
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I said I use "I think..." too much before making my pronouncements while giving feedback on people's work. What I'm trying to do is not be bossy, which my younger brothers have observed I'm capable of. But I overdo the soft-pedaling. One of the writers in the group said she doesn't need all that I-think kind of preamble.
What a relief to hear someone say that. Now I feel free to be as bossy and commanding/assertive as I want to, since others do know without my telling them that they are free write any way they want.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Too Revealing? Oh, Well
Second class day at the Meredith Writers Workshop. This afternoon we held the faculty readings. The three of us--poet Betty Adcock, novelist and memoirist Nancy Peacock, and I--all chatted and read for about 15 minutes each to an audience of the combined classes.
I read the opening few pages of my novels Sister India and Revelation and told the group where the idea had come from for each. Well, that's fairly personal. They now know a lot more about me than they did. I often wonder whether I've gone too far, offered Too Much Information. That's probably true for at least a few people in any audience.
But I'm pretty much past actually worrying about it, which is a relief. Because once you start second-guessing what people in an audience think, you're in for a lot of wasted time and energy.
I think a part of why I like public speaking is that trying to do it just right for everybody is so obviously impossible that I don't worry about it and say what I want. It's paradoxically freeing.
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I read the opening few pages of my novels Sister India and Revelation and told the group where the idea had come from for each. Well, that's fairly personal. They now know a lot more about me than they did. I often wonder whether I've gone too far, offered Too Much Information. That's probably true for at least a few people in any audience.
But I'm pretty much past actually worrying about it, which is a relief. Because once you start second-guessing what people in an audience think, you're in for a lot of wasted time and energy.
I think a part of why I like public speaking is that trying to do it just right for everybody is so obviously impossible that I don't worry about it and say what I want. It's paradoxically freeing.
Monday, June 22, 2009
First Day of School
Sylvan setting; bold students.
I'm teaching a one-week fiction-writing class for adults on the summer-lovely campus of Meredith College in Raleigh this week. Today was the first day.
Sometimes people in a newly formed group hang back a little at being among the first to read from their work, or the first to comment on someone else's work.
Not these ten women. They launched in from the first instant, and didn't seem to think anything of it. Promises to be a good week.
Today we talked about plot, what makes a story a story. (Answer: a main character with an urgent problem that has to be resolved in spite of dreadful obstacles, internal and external, by the end of the story. And the problem needs to be one that threatens the character's identity, her sense of who she is.)
I've taught at this annual writing week before, but hadn't planned to do it this summer. And then my friend who was scheduled to teach had to drop out. I dropped in. (Bold of me, yes?)
Tomorrow: developing characters from the inside out. These ten bold women already know a lot about that.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Getting High School Dropouts to Save the World
Van Jones, described as "a genius from the hood," is founder of an environmental group called Green For All. He is aiming to "'green the ghetto.'" A New Yorker article shows him giving a talk to a group of high school dropouts gathered in a public library.
"'I love Barack Obama,' he said. 'I'd pay money just to shine the brother's shoes. But I'll tell you this. Do you hear me? One man is not going to save us. I don't care who that man is. He's not going to save us.And, in fact, if you want to be real about this--can y'all take it?I'm going to be real with y'all. Not only is Barack Obama not going to be able to save you--you are going to have to save Barack Obama.'"
What he's saying is: help "the brother" save the economy and the planet. He needs you. Everybody needs you. And you can prosper and flourish in the process.
Jones goes on to say: "'The challenge is making this an everybody movement,...that kid on the street corner putting down his handgun, picking up a caulk gun."
I have to say, I'd be happy to shine this brother's shoes, especially if he pulls it off. He's using the energy of support for Obama in people who've rarely cared who the president is to take on global warming, poverty, delinquency, apathy, and crime, all in one swoop. Bold and brilliant!
Addenda: The photo's from my sunset paddle out on NC's Jordan Lake yesterday.
Obama has appointed Jones special advisor for green jobs, enterprise and innovation.
Jones's book is The Green Collar Economy.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Some Background on Being Bold
I've always hated speeches that start off: "According to Webster's, the word (honor, graduation, success, character, etc.) means..."
However, it does say a lot about a concept to look at where it came from. And after all, a lot of us here do some writing. So here's BOLD from Merriam-Webster:
"Pronunciation:
\ˈbōld\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Middle English, from Old English beald; akin to Old High German bald bold
Date:
before 12th century
1 a: fearless before danger : intrepid b: showing or requiring a fearless daring spirit 2: impudent, presumptuous 3obsolete : assured, confident4: sheer, steep5: adventurous, free (a bold thinker) 6: standing out prominently7: being or set in boldface"
Just reading that definition/history makes me feel like being intrepid and impudent and dressing in medieval clothes. And now that I think about it: the artist Elisabeth Chant whose biography I've been researching for some time spent the last decades of her life wearing medieval-style clothes--and in my then-conservative hometown of Wilmington, NC. That woman was truly bold.
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However, it does say a lot about a concept to look at where it came from. And after all, a lot of us here do some writing. So here's BOLD from Merriam-Webster:
"Pronunciation:
\ˈbōld\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Middle English, from Old English beald; akin to Old High German bald bold
Date:
before 12th century
1 a: fearless before danger : intrepid b: showing or requiring a fearless daring spirit 2: impudent, presumptuous 3obsolete : assured, confident4: sheer, steep
Just reading that definition/history makes me feel like being intrepid and impudent and dressing in medieval clothes. And now that I think about it: the artist Elisabeth Chant whose biography I've been researching for some time spent the last decades of her life wearing medieval-style clothes--and in my then-conservative hometown of Wilmington, NC. That woman was truly bold.
Friday, June 19, 2009
A Hidden Cost of Chickening Out
"The fascinating thing about self-sabotaging behavior is that it actually takes an enormous amount of energy and mental stress, much more than if you just took the action you wanted or needed to do in the first place. The mental stress of feeling behind or beating yourself up for how a situation in your life could have been better is a lot more work than moving forward with your original plan of action."
From Maureen Keyte of the Spirited Woman.
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From Maureen Keyte of the Spirited Woman.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
How to Stand Waiting for News
A curious thing about waiting: some research I read recently said that people who've recently learned they have cancer are in better shape emotionally and show less physiological sign of stress than those who are waiting to hear their biopsy results.
So when waiting is wearing us down, here's a bold thought: there's no reason to fear, because we're already going through the worst of it. Getting the news, whatever it is, will provide some relief.
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So when waiting is wearing us down, here's a bold thought: there's no reason to fear, because we're already going through the worst of it. Getting the news, whatever it is, will provide some relief.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Hair Grows Back: Help with Decision-Making
Just got my every-six-weeks-or-so trim and it made me think of the hesitation many of us have about making radical recreational hair changes.
For decades, I had long straight hair. It was a sort of signature. After a couple of years thinking about it, I got it cut to chin-length; and this was before advancing age might have inspired me to make this move.
One of my buddies kept saying to me back then: "It's just hair. It'll grow back."
This morning I started wondering how many decisions I ponder lengthily actually fall into the no-big-deal-it's-only-hair category, which is to say: have fairly brief consequences even if the choice goes bad.
I remember torment over deciding whether to take another year of French in ninth grade. Definitely a haircut decision. I've seen people go into stall mode over which book to write next. One of the books would have been well underway in the time spent deciding.
On the other hand, my choice of colleges ultimately affected where I would live and who I would marry, among other things.
It's almost never possible to have all the data for a decision.
One small test is to ask: is it just hair? will it grow back?
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For decades, I had long straight hair. It was a sort of signature. After a couple of years thinking about it, I got it cut to chin-length; and this was before advancing age might have inspired me to make this move.
One of my buddies kept saying to me back then: "It's just hair. It'll grow back."
This morning I started wondering how many decisions I ponder lengthily actually fall into the no-big-deal-it's-only-hair category, which is to say: have fairly brief consequences even if the choice goes bad.
I remember torment over deciding whether to take another year of French in ninth grade. Definitely a haircut decision. I've seen people go into stall mode over which book to write next. One of the books would have been well underway in the time spent deciding.
On the other hand, my choice of colleges ultimately affected where I would live and who I would marry, among other things.
It's almost never possible to have all the data for a decision.
One small test is to ask: is it just hair? will it grow back?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Marketing Art
Bold self-expression can be even more satisfying when you're able to make a living at it: that way you can do it full-time, and get it out into the world.
Jackie Battenfield is an expert on how visual artists can do that. Writers and other artists can learn from her as well; I've attended a couple of her classes and found her thinking inspiring and her suggestions specific and useful--and applicable to what I'm doing as a writer.
Now she has a book out: The Artist's Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love. She knows what she's writing about. She has been a self-supporting painter for over 20 years, and launched her career visiting Washington galleries with newborn in tow.
You might also have a look at Jackie Battenfield's art. I particularly like her Water Series.
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Jackie Battenfield is an expert on how visual artists can do that. Writers and other artists can learn from her as well; I've attended a couple of her classes and found her thinking inspiring and her suggestions specific and useful--and applicable to what I'm doing as a writer.
Now she has a book out: The Artist's Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love. She knows what she's writing about. She has been a self-supporting painter for over 20 years, and launched her career visiting Washington galleries with newborn in tow.
You might also have a look at Jackie Battenfield's art. I particularly like her Water Series.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Bold Proposition
I just made a daring offer to an eminent institution of higher learning. I won't burden you with the details just now. But I'm feeling very pleased with my ingenuity, resourcefulness, and daring. There's satisfaction in coming up with and presenting a bold idea, whether it works out or not.
I remember when I was an undergrad at Duke, I wrote a letter to the local Durham Herald, offering to write editorials for them for $10 apiece. I pointed out that during my summer as an intern at Star-News in my hometown of Wilmington, I'd written editorials and received a $5 bonus for each one that was published; and they'd published a stack of them, including my wisdom on the Kennedy-Kopechne-Chappaquiddick situation. (I was against it.)
The Durham editor didn't take me up on my offer, but wrote me a most charming letter. Now the head of that paper is a guy who graduated in my class and started work at the same time I did at The Raleigh Times. A lot of newspapers have rolled out between then and now. I still cherish the memory of that offer I made back then, as much as I do other little adventures that did work out.
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I remember when I was an undergrad at Duke, I wrote a letter to the local Durham Herald, offering to write editorials for them for $10 apiece. I pointed out that during my summer as an intern at Star-News in my hometown of Wilmington, I'd written editorials and received a $5 bonus for each one that was published; and they'd published a stack of them, including my wisdom on the Kennedy-Kopechne-Chappaquiddick situation. (I was against it.)
The Durham editor didn't take me up on my offer, but wrote me a most charming letter. Now the head of that paper is a guy who graduated in my class and started work at the same time I did at The Raleigh Times. A lot of newspapers have rolled out between then and now. I still cherish the memory of that offer I made back then, as much as I do other little adventures that did work out.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Dare to Unwind: It's a Summery Thing to Do
From the Daily Om, "Tied in Knots":
"We don’t have to tie ourselves in knots. Instead, we can let the ribbons of our energy unfurl to gracefully direct us...."
I think that probably means: go swimming. Which I did in the ocean at Wrightsville Beach, NC, on Saturday. Bright sun, low tide with big waves breaking close to shore and a current running parallel with the beach. Briefly chilly, then blissful, with wonderful ocean sand underfoot. I could feel my ribbons of energy unfurling....
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"We don’t have to tie ourselves in knots. Instead, we can let the ribbons of our energy unfurl to gracefully direct us...."
I think that probably means: go swimming. Which I did in the ocean at Wrightsville Beach, NC, on Saturday. Bright sun, low tide with big waves breaking close to shore and a current running parallel with the beach. Briefly chilly, then blissful, with wonderful ocean sand underfoot. I could feel my ribbons of energy unfurling....
A Morning Sabbatical
Self-employment is supposed to offer the advantage of setting one's own hours. In practice, most of us work a lot more hours than we would on a job.
This morning, however, I went hog-wild; stayed home and picked up around the house and did a summer's worth of ironing, etc. You might not view that as the boldest move; but boldness is relative. For me, it was an adventure. And I'm now feeling quite satisfied and accomplished.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
A Technique for Freeing the Imagination
This is a rerun of a guest post I did a while back for Mystic-Lit:
Writing or practice of any art form—or, for that matter, any kind of problem-solving—relies heavily on one intermediate skill: Greasing the Elements.
I realized this while doing the Word Jumbles in my local News & Observer. As you probably know, these puzzles are scrambled letters that must be unscrambled to make a word.
The hardest way to do a Word Jumble is to sit and think hard in a methodical way. That is finally effective and so it’s my fallback strategy, but it’s the slow laborious route: the number 3 way.
The quickest method (number 1) is when the word magically leaps out of the jumble at first glance. That works with both art and word puzzles. The answer simply appears. With fiction, these pop-up ideas usually pop out of prepared ground: I’ve worked on the scene, then put it aside and done something physical like driving or gardening, organizing objects or taking a shower. Then the ideas burst forth.
But of course that doesn’t always happen. So there’s number 2, the middle way, the Greasy Elements method, halfway between magic and hard labor. Using this technique with a Word Jumble, I view the five or six letters as big detached forms, each about six feet high. Pale green and translucent, as it happens, but that’s not so important. What’s important is that they’re slippery and wobbly. They slip and slide all over each other until they come to rest in the right order. Takes a minute longer than magic but is faster and more effective than say trying out each letter as Letter One and so on….
So in writing fiction, it works the same way. Let the elements of a scene—the people and place and circumstances slip and slide all over each other until they click into place on the page.
Remember the movie Apollo 13? Tom Hanks and crew were up in the spacecraft and something went wrong, and he radioed in an unforgettable tone of totally-controlled emotion: “Houston, we have a problem.”
What happened then on the ground was that the head guy threw together in a pile all the physical elements that the astronauts had available to them in their cabin. Engineers gathered around that pile of stuff and started fitting pieces together in different combos. They pulled together the gizmo that was needed and just in the nick of time, and were able to tell the characters in the air what to do.
That’s how it works with objects. With words and ideas, it’s the same: you throw the elements in a heap and see how things act on each other and combine and recombine. It's amazing what energy they carry.
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Writing or practice of any art form—or, for that matter, any kind of problem-solving—relies heavily on one intermediate skill: Greasing the Elements.
I realized this while doing the Word Jumbles in my local News & Observer. As you probably know, these puzzles are scrambled letters that must be unscrambled to make a word.
The hardest way to do a Word Jumble is to sit and think hard in a methodical way. That is finally effective and so it’s my fallback strategy, but it’s the slow laborious route: the number 3 way.
The quickest method (number 1) is when the word magically leaps out of the jumble at first glance. That works with both art and word puzzles. The answer simply appears. With fiction, these pop-up ideas usually pop out of prepared ground: I’ve worked on the scene, then put it aside and done something physical like driving or gardening, organizing objects or taking a shower. Then the ideas burst forth.
But of course that doesn’t always happen. So there’s number 2, the middle way, the Greasy Elements method, halfway between magic and hard labor. Using this technique with a Word Jumble, I view the five or six letters as big detached forms, each about six feet high. Pale green and translucent, as it happens, but that’s not so important. What’s important is that they’re slippery and wobbly. They slip and slide all over each other until they come to rest in the right order. Takes a minute longer than magic but is faster and more effective than say trying out each letter as Letter One and so on….
So in writing fiction, it works the same way. Let the elements of a scene—the people and place and circumstances slip and slide all over each other until they click into place on the page.
Remember the movie Apollo 13? Tom Hanks and crew were up in the spacecraft and something went wrong, and he radioed in an unforgettable tone of totally-controlled emotion: “Houston, we have a problem.”
What happened then on the ground was that the head guy threw together in a pile all the physical elements that the astronauts had available to them in their cabin. Engineers gathered around that pile of stuff and started fitting pieces together in different combos. They pulled together the gizmo that was needed and just in the nick of time, and were able to tell the characters in the air what to do.
That’s how it works with objects. With words and ideas, it’s the same: you throw the elements in a heap and see how things act on each other and combine and recombine. It's amazing what energy they carry.
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