Sunday, September 20, 2009

Part of Self-Actualizing is Tossing Extraneous Stuff

Sitting in my husband's office, I'm keeping him company while he embarks on a massive and daunting cleanup.

His style is to have books and papers and interesting objets strewn everywhere. And that has its charm, but lately the expression of this style has gotten a tad out of hand. There's a finite amount of floor space, after all. It's an office for psychotherapy, not an Office Max.

I'm impressed that he's plunging in. Especially on a Sunday afternoon. It takes a surprising amount of spunkiness to pick a part of a mess and start organizing. Very easy to instead sink into reading some stray item, or do some other pressing errand "first."

Just told him I was blogging on this subject. He was so deep into the sorting that his upcoming fame wasn't of great interest, though he absent-mindedly assured me he didn't mind. A good sign. Makes me want to clean something up too.



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Saturday, September 19, 2009

Bold Living: A Lesson from the Recession

A curious little discovery. Being a writer and so far not a bestselling one, I usually earn less than friends who are not in the arts. My car rolled off the line in '92, etc. I never thought that embarrassed me at all. It's merely a cost of my calling in life, and most of the time worth the trade.

But during this past year of recession with almost everyone economizing, I've discovered that other people's scrimping feels very companionable to me. For one thing, I notice that I now compare notes with friends on the subject more than I used to.

So maybe the social aspect of my miserliness did bother me, changing my behavior in ways I wasn't aware of. It's interesting to find I was unsettled by something without knowing it -- and unconsciously restricting myself. Now I'm wondering what else might be working on me that way, without my knowing it.



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Friday, September 18, 2009

Bold Living: "Nice 67 Y.O. male has brush with mortality."

You must go to Salon.com and read Garrison Keillor's story about having a stroke.

It is GK at his best, which is very very good.

And he makes this brush with death charming and funny, as well as, with a deft hand, profound and an argument for political action.

Tough to do under any circumstances. But even faced with bouquets of carnations and admitted uneasiness, he followed his calling in life and did what GK does.

A splendid example of courage and fear. Funny as hell too.

Glad you're OK, GK. And I'm glad you're not retiring.



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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Fear and Courage in the Stars

My astrologically-minded friends tell me that we are in the period of "Mercury in retrograde," one of the times of year that is famous for weird glitches in the operations of gadgets and schedules and systems.

I'm open to the general concept of astrology. If the moon can create tides, surely the heavenly bodies can influence me. But I'm largely unconvinced on the details; my horoscope has too often predicted for me fabulous successes that haven't quite lived up to their descriptions.

However, the tide of cyberglitches I've encountered with my email lately has brought the concept to mind. So I did a little research and found what I wanted: a positive spunky approach to mechanical-glitch Mercury in retrograde season, should that season in fact exist. I always want to wring some value out of obstructions.

In short, this time (through Sept. 29) is a period of course corrections and rethinkings that will go into action at the beginning of October. And that's a mere two weeks away. A tolerable notion. So I'm looking forward to emerging from retrograde and seeing all my rethought messages soaring to their best destinations.

And if you didn't get a reply to your email, please send again...by Pony Express.




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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Pleasant Oddness of a Geographical Passion

One of my office partners has gone to South Africa for three weeks. She's teaching, studying, and helping to organize an event. She has long wanted to go there and has been working on arranging it for years. I'm not sure why that was the spot in all the world.

Why are some Americans Anglophiles and some Francophiles? Why did I become obsessed with India? These are not purely rhetorical questions. I do wonder what in my personality or background or DNA pointed me to South Asia, produced in me an Indomania. But much more important than ever figuring out why is following bliss in whatever directions it points, in figuring out how to get there and what needs to be made of the experience.


South Africa - Music Legends - Ladysmith Black Mambazo




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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Chronic Bold Living

Email trouble is like running into a large spider web in the dark. Can't quite see what has hold of me.

And it still has hold of me. I hope to have my new address sent out to my whole list soon. But if you were expecting to hear from me and didn't. Please send again.

Dealing with mysterious computer problems gives me a lot of respect for people dealing with mysterious illnesses. It has to take a lot of courage: long-term boldness, which doesn't get all the credit it deserves.



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Monday, September 14, 2009

Portents, Omens, and Signs


After my ten minute meditation break this afternoon, I opened my eyes and saw a tiny rainbow over the doorjamb. A little comet. Or an idea arriving. We get to interpret signs and symbols as we wish.

Basic principle of interpretation of all things: choose the option that's the most helpful, the one that would do the most to encourage creativity, spur decisive action, lead to good things.

A rainbow comet on a gold wall heading straight for my desk is the very embodiment of optimism. It is A Good Sign.

Note from Rainbow Links: "The rainbow is a symbol of hope, security, and dreams for future teaching and healing. The rainbow has ancient meanings. The seven colors symbolize not only the rainbow in the sky, but also the spiritual chakras for human and world healing. The circular mandala symbolizes the endless flow of the colorful life force."



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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Don't Give Up!

A heartening tale: a friend whose agent has been circulating her first novel to editors for three years and three months just got a two-book deal.

Here's to discovering one's calling in life and keeping on! I find that such occurrences encourage me, not just at work but in every part of the day.

Here's to that loyal agent as well.



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Friday, September 11, 2009

Spunkiness in the Book Business

It takes some bold individuals to start an independent bookstore of any sort at this time in history. All Booked Up not only opened this past May, but after only four months in business, they moved down the street to a larger location. The place sells gently used and antiquarian books and collectibles. It has the feel of a Victorian house and is located in the turn-of-the-previous-century historic district of the little downtown.

Congratulations to booksellers Janice Monaco & Shiloh Burnam, and thanks for creating this delightful spot.

BTW, I'll be giving a wee talk there this coming Monday night at 7:30, focusing on my novel Sister India. Fly in if you can.



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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Another Self-Actualizing, Pump-Up Technique

A variation on yesterday's idea: for moments when you need encouragement, keep a file in your desk drawer of nice notes or reviews or even a letter from your mother that reminds you that you're dazzling and your work is important and worthwhile.

--This idea came from psychologist husband Bob.



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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

A Self-Actualizing, Pump-Up Technique

What I've discovered from writing the fellowship application I was blogging about yesterday:

Affirmations work. Or they can at least stoke the passions and build confidence.

You know what I mean by affirmations, yes? The empowering sayings we're encouraged to repeat to ourselves, such as: I am a calm and capable person. I am a person who doesn't even like sugar and caffeine.

I've never much been into repeating those items. I meditate and I blog and I exercise and do my work and that's all the discipline and structure I can stand.

Plus a screenwriter pal of mine once had an affirmations false alarm. She told me that repeating her declarations were giving her an amazing feeling of peace. But then the screenwriters' strike ended and she discovered that the peace was coming not from affirmations but instead from not listening for the phone. She quickly returned to amazing frazzlement.

However, I've spent the afternoon carefully wording my Career Narrative, which is every good thing I've done professionally in my life, and that amounts to a two-page affirmation. I have succeeded in dazzling myself. I am now so full of beans that it's just a shame it's the end of the day and time to quit and go home. (When I woke this morning, I was distinctly not-so-dazzled by me.

But now I know how a quick pump-up is done. Seriously. If I want to take charge, beat procrastination, make a step toward bold living, I could write down some good things I've actually done. These, I'm happy to say, do not include steering clear of sugar and caffeine.



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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Following Bliss Upstream

Two recent bits of bold living that I'm proud to claim:

1. Took the whole Labor Day weekend off and caught up on reading and sleep (in order of importance.)

2. Am now at work on my application for a Guggenheim fellowship, which is a very prestigious and sought-after plum. I just ran across a not-so-encouraging item saying that as of 2006 only two people in the history of NC State University have received one of these. Oh, dear.

I didn't need to know this figure; I was already going to produce the best application I could. So I am now putting that potentially daunting info aside. I'm watching that miserable factoid slide out of sight.

Now back to boldly writing my Career Narrative.

Consistently keeping on is a crucial component in following any calling in life. It's more difficult, I think, than daring.



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Friday, September 04, 2009

Decisive Action--With an Attitude

It appears that some alien has messed with my email addresses...causing a variety of confusions and miscommunications.

Decisive action was called for: new email address.

I spent the day semi-successfully working at viewing the complications as a "challenge" and an "opportunity." Mentally tiring. But do-able, both the fix and the positive mindset.





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Thursday, September 03, 2009

September Energy and Fresh Resolve

All grownups need the fresh start of the first day of the school year. Kids have this, of course. And my academic pals do, too.

For me, time seems weirdly seamless. Gardening season eases into kayak season which cools back into gardening. And work is the same year-round: except that in August a lot of people are hard to get hold of.

New Beginning

Now August is over, and yesterday and today here are suddenly crisply September-the-way-it's-supposed-to-be. Makes me want to start fresh, buy a ring binder and a Sheaffer cartridge pen and some Blue Horse notebook paper (the basics of my long-ago school days.)

I did clean out some files yesterday (only because my computer was "in the shop") and it was almost as good as new school supplies.

Because of the change in weather, September--not January--feels the proper time for new resolve. Got any new goals or resolutions for this semester? I plan to have my nailed down by Labor Day.



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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Making Changes and Experimenting

This blog is spiffing up a bit. As with human make-overs, the change is not happening in an instant. Instead, with much help, I'm sorta playing with it. Trying this and that, learning a tiny bit about the inner workings. I never thought I'd be interested in such a thing, but it keeps calling me back.

So, expect a few days of shifting elements and pictures and such. And count on the same jolly philosophy of creative freedom and daily courage.




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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Making Changes and Experimenting

This blog is spiffing up a bit. As with human make-overs, the change is not happening in an instant. Instead, with much help, I'm sorta playing with it. Trying this and that, learning a tiny bit about the inner workings. I never thought I'd be interested in such a thing, but it keeps calling me back.

So, expect a few days of shifting elements and pictures and such. And count on the same jolly philosophy of creative freedom and daily courage.



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Boldly Overcoming Fear of Code (Scroll Down to See More)

Why this blog looks peculiar today: Last night I decided that I'd go into the inner workings, fiddle with the html code and make a few changes.

I'd never touched any code in my life before. Amazingly, I was somewhat successful. I made the changes I wanted.

Plus, obviously, a few that I could do without. Sorry for any inconvenience. I will get this straight eventually. Sooner, I hope.



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Monday, August 31, 2009

Fairy Encounters and the Courage to See and Speak

About yesterday's class in Remedial Fairy Viewing: for those who are open to the possibility, it was a class in ordinary practical techniques for attempting something nearly unbelievable.

For anyone who isn't open to the idea(and you probably did not attend), instructor Megan Mitchell still offered some wisdom. It was a talk about "the expansion of the possible" and learning to pay extraordinary attention.

Techniques for Better Fairy Viewing

Lesson 1: Become aware of which of your senses is dominant and expect the most revealing information (about anything) to come through that window. Mitchell doesn't see fairies; if she closes her eyes, she doesn't even visualize the room she's in. So if she hasn't taken in what the chairs and floor look like, how could she see something subtle and evanescent? Instead, she hears--and gets translations in her dreams.

Lesson 2: The better vocabulary you develop for the fleeting things you observe, the more detailed your experience will be. We do tend to deny the existence of things that don't fit; as in, "I didn't really see that" or "I made that up" or "That could not have happened."

Lesson 3: Recall the imaginary friend of your childhood--or create one--and tell that friend what you want to see.

Lesson 4: Before going to sleep, ask your dreams to answer a specific question you have about a plant or bush or tree. Expect the answer to be cloaked in surprising symbolism.

Also:
*"Natural intelligences want to communicate with you."
*Leave food offerings in private garden spots. Butter is "wildly popular" with the nature spirit world.

The Courage to Say What You See

Now, about the matter of speaking up: I once wrote a novel (Revelation) about a minister who hears God speaking out loud in English in his back yard in Chapel Hill. Does he rush to tell his congregation? No. He's embarrassed; he doesn't believe in this sort of thing. Plus, people will think he's crazy.

One member of the audience yesterday disclosed that years ago he had started seeing elfin creatures and he was put in a hospital for a couple of weeks. He decided that he would not see them any more, because it was too frightening.

Total disclosure:

*I once saw a floating orb of light above a woman's head. About the size of a pearl onion and just as real as anything else in the room.
*I once felt a hawthorn tree sending me a warm current of communication, about six or eight inches wide. It went into my chest, looped around, came out and headed back toward the tree.
*I once felt sharp puffs of air against my cheek with no discernible explanation.

That's my whole catalog. I wish it were larger. As a self-employed novelist, I really don't risk anything by saying things that some might consider loony.

I'm working on expanding my sense of the possible, so I can take in whatever is now out of my reach. Probably it would help if I ever managed to talk in person about these things without a hint of an eyeroll or sardonic tone.

Seen/felt/heard anything extraordinary lately?

I've found lots of stories of seeing fairies online. Hearing about someone else's experience is one way any of us can expand our ideas of what's possible.





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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Courageous Admission

Bold act for today: mentioning here that I'm on my way to a class in Remedial Fairy Viewing. More later.



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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Fear, Daring, Working Blind

Being a magazine junkie, I was flipping through an old issue of American Libraries this morning, and a folded poster slid out, large enough to cover all the cartoons and taped items on a professor's door.

It said: "Do I Dare Disturb the Universe?" This quote from T.S. Eliot's "Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" was writ large in celebration of last April as National Poetry Month.

Wisdom had actually fallen into my lap. And a dare: to say what I feel I'm here to say, and then "let the chips fall...."

Any writer or artist,innovator of any sort, risks making trouble. While I don't believe in disturbance as a goal in itself, ideas and art run the risk of being upsetting. Of drawing fire.

The Categories of Disturbing Creativity

What provokes is something new that either:
*brings change in tow
*points out a previously unnoticed enticing alternative
*tampers with a revered tradition
*breaks a taboo
*exposes something we don't want to know about ourselves
*insults an icon
*hurts feelings
*diminishes or devalues something that others have greatly invested in.

Most of these can be positive or negative. And it's surprisingly hard to know in advance what the responses will be.

Also, it isn't easy to disturb the universe these days. There are already lots of disturbing things going on, and we are able know them almost instantly. Getting a bit of attention can be like pushing a barge up a hill.

Even so, a lot of us hesitate in our work, worrying about the outcome, or trying to control it.

If I were to revise Eliot here--cheeky, I know, and the universe is no doubt trembling-- I'd likely make the question: do I dare to steadily work, without knowing the outcomes?




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