My First All-Nighter

Last night gives new meaning to the cliche: it's never too late.

At the age of 57, I did my first all-nighter--a rough deadline on an editing project. I worked straight through the night and now it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm about to leave the office and call it A DAY.

I'm pleased with the work. And feel proud,as if I held up reasonably well in some athletic competition like a triathlon. Hour after hour--kept pawing at the keyboard and after a while the sun started coming up. Just wanted to share this moment with you.

Inspiration from the Oscars

Watching the Academy Awards--an annual event of great importance for me--offers every year TWO KINDS OF INSPIRATION. The show flamboyantly demonstrates that:

1. Dreams do come true, in a huge way, and sometimes for people who didn't seem to have a chance from the start.

2. Even wildly successful people still have big disappointments that they cope with and then keep on working.

This year there was AN INSPIRATIONAL BONUS: the Coke ad campaign. One of the slogans was (something on the order of): "Live Life As If They're Wanting an Encore."

Imagine that. Literally. Not only does the audience love your song, they want you to sing another one. That's inspiring. That kind of thinking can keep you singing.

Ferociously Busy

Finished the latest draft of my new novel COBALT BLUE. And working nearly continuously (though I do sleep and eat) to get a line-edit done ASAP of another writer's novel. Wow!

At the same time, "literary lightning," a great rush of wonderful book-luck hit a friend of mine in the past week. So I took a multi-hour break to celebrate. She doesn't want her name used yet, because she's superstitious and feels it's too soon to talk about. But I think most of the nation will hear at some point not too far away.

And I want to highly recommend another excellent book, just out from a good buddy. Have a look at Dan Wakefield's THE HIGHJACKING OF JESUS. It tells exactly how the fundamentalist right-wing movement has used churches as a political base. Pretty juicy. You can click to Dan's website from my links list.

More later when the smoke clears.

"Literary Lightning"

You know those stories about megamillion-dollar literary luck? My local newspaper (The News & Observer in Raleigh) just ran a piece on the luck involved in huge success. It's about one author who has just been struck by "literary lightning" and about me, as an example of a writer who has had good luck, but not the million dollar kind.

As you can imagine, I was a little nervous about being an interviewed for an article where I could come off as the "designated loser," the one that luck was ignoring.

But the reporter, Bridgette Lacy, is a very good one, and a novelist herself. And as my husband reminded me "all publicity is good publicity." So I went ahead. And I was very pleased with the results. It felt like a kind of public wish for my good luck, for which I'm grateful.

If anybody has any ideas about how to bring on this kind of luck, do pass them on.

New from Anna Deavere Smith

Just heard on my local Shaw University radio station: an intriguing interview with actor-writer Anna Deavere Smith. Her new book Letters to a Young Artist has been out three weeks and sounds like the sort of thing we'd be interested in.
Sounds terrific, in fact, whether or not the artist is experienced or young. (Of course the practice of an art does keep a person young.)

The subtitle is Straight-up Advice on Making a Life in the Arts-For Actors, Performers, Writers, and Artists of Every Kind and the reviews are good.

The author is seriously smart and also very wide-ranging in her view of art--includes advice from a rodeo rider and a dentist. This point-of-view about art is, I think, good for writers and good for dentists.

Use The Promotional Resources You Have

My writer/artist-buddy Carrie Knowles brought into the office last night a tantalizing book Lost Secrets of the Sacred Ark that because of my metaphysical interest she thought I'd like.

Glancing over the flap copy I paused at this bit in the writer's bio: The author Laurence Gardner is "a Knight Templar of St. Anthony and Prior of Sacred Kindred of St. Columba." Moreover, at least one of his books has been a bestseller. I'm thinking maybe there's a connection

SO WHY HAVE I BEEN IGNORING MY OWN ESOTERIC CREDENTIALS, since my novels are all mystical adventures?

Here is my tenuous connection--based on my internet research--and you may well see this info noted on my next dust jacket.

My name Payne is a variation on the name Payen, etc. It comes from the word "pagan" and originally referred not to a family group but to the people in the British Isles who hid out in the boondocks (le pays) when the Romans arrived. These were the folks who didn't like being taken over and organized. So it's no wonder that I and most of my relatives are bull-headed, given to flights of fancy, and self-employed.

NOW HERE'S THE HEADLINE ITEM: The first recorded use of the name for a particular individual was Hugh de Payen (sometimes written Payens or Pagen)who was FOUNDER OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR

Not that I've tracked down any kinship to Sir Hugh.

Nonetheless, I mean to mention this name thing prominently when COBALT BLUE comes out. Seriously. I think the Knights Templar founder will CONNECT me with readers who would like my work.

Writer's Block

Here's a good NPR show on writer's block and some ways to deal with it from the series "The Infinite Mind."

One of the most useful parts of the show is the quotes from writers like FLAUBERT, CONRAD, DANTE, etc. talking about their problems with blocking. It's encouraging to know that they had this problem and managed to do pretty well anyway.

Then there's best-selling satirist Fran Lebowitz, who could put most writers' writer's block problems into perspective: she had a multi-year phobia of going into the room where her desk sat.

For me, the songwriter Aimee Mann was the MOST USEFUL. One of her ideas for solving the problem is to write out how you're feeling. She wrote a song about "calling it quits" that got her to writing songs again.

"Living Out Loud"

My husband Bob who turns 64 tomorrow received the unlikely birthday gift of two tickets to Menopause: The Musical, which is now on a many-city national tour.

And what a burst of boldness this show is!
(It may seem an odd present for a man. But it's something any married man should see at some point. Also, Bob's a psychotherapist and deals with menopause issues in his practice.

So we went to this musical. And loved it, both of us.

WHAT AN UPPER!!! it is.

Four women--Iowa Housewife, Soap Star, Power Woman, and Earth Mother-- sing Boomer rock-and-roll songs with the words hilariously changed to such subjects as sex and hot flashes.

Essentially it's about the solidarity between women who are going through the sweaty, tumultuous experience of estrogen loss, who bond with an intensity like men's war friendships.

And it's about "living out loud," being bold. From the writer Emile Zola: "If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will answer--I CAME HERE TO LIVE OUT LOUD."

Each of the four women gives a fine performance. And when Power Woman, who is rather large, emerges at the end in a slinky little black dress and a lion-sized Tina Turner mane, the result in the crowd is a rush of giddiness, not unlike the moment when a gulp of champagne goes straight to the brainstem.

At the end of the performance, the entire audience was invited to the stage to join in the final kick line.

For anyone wanting to live with more intensity, daring, and authenticity, this is a delightful encouragement. And it's as much fun as any show I've ever seen.

Thanks for the tix, Ruth and Harry and sons.

(Lately this blog has become my thank-you notes. I guess there's nothing wrong with "thank you" writ large.)

The Gift of Boldness

I've decorated my desk with a couple of birthday presents I recently received in celebration of my turning 57.

One was a set of inspirational cards, (Isle of View Insight Cards). Next to my computer today is the one that plays off the word BOLD. The letters of the word are a reminder of the message: Believing Opens Life's Dream.

The idea, of course, is: BELIEVE YOU CAN ACHIEVE WHAT YOU WANT AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO.. I do believe that and I have, pretty much, found it to be so (although the jury's still out on a couple of matters). Much as I believe it, I also find it helpful to be reminded.

Then there's the Lady Godiva cup, which holds enough to feed Lady Godiva's horse, and came with some sumptuous Godiva cocoa. The image--of the naked woman on the horse--also brought along its thousand year-old history: Lady Godiva bared all in order to achieve her purpose.

What she wanted was for her husband, the Earl of Leofric, to lower taxes on the peasantry. He said he'd do it the day she rode through town naked. So she did.

What artists must summon again and again is the courage be as EMOTIONALLY BARE IN OUR WORK AS LADY GODIVA.

So I'm drinking deep out of this mug; of course the chocolate helps too.

And thank you, Joe Burgo and Karen Tam.

From Robertson Davies

Davies is one of my long-time favorite novelists, especially The Deptford Trilogy. His Jungian tilt intrigues me. Nobody does archetypes better.

Here's a thought from him that I found encouraging--especially for when a manuscript is at its muddy stage.


The best among our writers are doing their accustomed work of mirroring what is deep in the spirit of our time; if chaos appears in those mirrors, we must have faith that in the future, as always in the past, that chaos will slowly reveal itself as a new aspect of order.
Robertson Davies
A Voice from the Attic (1951)


The way I think about this is personal: "what is deep in my spirit" rather than what's in the spirit of our time. Often it's something I don't know about, and am shocked to find. Also, I don't try to "mirror" it. Instead I use it as a spark of energy that will start to lead me into a fictional story.

I chase the spark, do my best to keep it in sight.

ADDENDUM: Adapting bits of wisdom to suit me is necessary. A writer friend told me this definition of a writer: someone who, if present as God creates the universe, would stare at the final product then say, You know, God, it's nice, but it would be so much better if you just changed this...." I expect that definition applies pretty well to most humans.

Rejection Slip

Only one post ago, I was blythely writing about how we have to consider rejections, obstacles, setbacks as progress. Since it's inevitable that some come along, we just need to view them as part of the trip, not a reason to stop or slow down.

And then-- a favorite client of mine decided to cancel the project I'd already gotten deeply involved in. I'd written one draft of a booklet, a piece I'm especially proud of. Now: no booklet.

I got paid anyway, very well-treated. No hard feelings from me, and none from them that I know of.

Yet--that piece I like so much will likely never be read.

Indeed, A DISAPPOINTMENT.

I looked back ruefully on what I'd just so easily written about absorbing these blows. Well, the thing is I NEVER SAID THEY'RE NOT BLOWS.. The news hovered at the edge of my consciousness, like a pulled muscle, until mid-day the following day. I kept working, I'm proud to say.

Now once again I feel philosophical about the parts of this work I cannot control. I still wish, though, that that 20-pager was going to be published.

And I'm genuinely pleased to discover again that I still possess my RESILIENCE.

6 More Hints on Arts Marketing

*When you're having a booksigning or an art opening or some other career event, figure out who the people are whose presence would mean the most for your career. Write those people A PERSONAL LETTER of invitation, perhaps in addition to including them in an mass e-mail.

*LEARN ABOUT THE PERSON YOU WANT TO REACH, his or her interests and accomplishments, how you can fit into what that person is doing, what mutual friends or contacts you might have.

*COUNT ON A LOT OF REJECTIONS and setbacks in marketing, just as most of us do in the process of doing the work. Part of the day's work and the progress is getting the inevitable rejections. These are a step forward.

*OTHER ARTISTS' SUCCESSES show where there may be an opportunity for you. Find out how they did it, and how you can adapt that approach for yourself.

*In sending out UPDATES ON YOUR WORK, limit yourself to twice a year, and don't send announcements about your very small victories. You might save some of your mailing list, in announcing a book release or a long-running art show, until you have a good review to quote.

*COMMUNICATE YOUR PASSION about your work to the person you want to interest. Show your excitement and say what has drawn you to this project, what it means to you.

These ideas are brought to you from the Creative Capital seminar on strategic planning for artists, which I've been carrying on about for weeks now.

ADDENDUM: The picture is the view from my desk (isn't my office building wonderful?)with the glass I mentioned in my last post. Note the COBALT BLUE color. Every time I reach for this weak iced tea, I'm reminded of my novel and my goals for it.

Delicious Literary Promotion Gambit

I got a terrific suggestion from one of the writers at the Creative Capital alum reunion Sunday night:

****For promotion (and celebration)of my nearly-done novel Cobalt Blue, to create a drink called a Cobalt Blue.

This potion needs to be an ethereal blue--and sizzling good. If you HAVE IDEAS? for the recipe that you'd like to contribute, do feel free to pass them on.

I already have the perfect vessel for the testing: it's a martini glass with a cobalt blue rim and a cobalt blue stem that I picked up at a thrift shop for the color.

A hard version and a soft version of the drink are needed--since I can handle about three sips of wine and that's all. So, for myself at least, I'm going to create for this pretty-racy novel a Virgin Cobalt Blue.

Years ago I thought it was funny that the screen rights contract for my first novel, Revelation, included the soft drink rights. I couldn't imagine a Revelation soft drink. I was clearly too narrow in my thinking.

Visualize the Published Book

Visualizations of a goal work even better for me when I create the image of what I want and keep it before me.

Here's an example: my mock-up of COBALT BLUE, my novel-in-terrific-progress, as a published hardback. It's about a painter: note the paintbrush, and the color blue.
Those little gold seals on the cover are for national awards, including the Pulitzer. I also put some nice blurbs and a picture of me on the back.

This looks like a second grader did it. But you get the idea. And so does my unconscious. I've done this with my previous books; it hasn't missed yet.

Bold Artist Reunion

First, to the right: another piece of my artistic cross-training, the dabbling I do in visual arts and crafts to refresh my writing mind. This crazy quilt in our guest-room is hand-stitched, took months of reflective evenings: so it's a crazy project in more ways than one.

THE BREAKING NEWS: a gathering took place last night of the artists from my area who are alums from the nationally-offered Creative Capital seminars on strategic career planning for artists.

There were 7 of us: 5 visual artists, one writer/visual artist (our host Carrie Knowles), and novelist-me. Also two spouses and a 15 year-old son.

The energy and excitement were as inspiring as at the original seminar, which teaches artists of all kinds HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY AND MANAGE THE BUSINESS SIDE OF AN ARTS CAREER.

Bryant Holsenbeck, a mixed-media sculptor, asked everyone to announce their goal for 2006. These included: get a six-figure book deal (two wanted that), settle down in one place, get work acquired by a museum, increase annual income by $15,000, become 50% less irritable, solve the health insurance problem, get Queen Latifah to play the heroine in the film, and become fluent in Hebrew.

At the very least, the question and the answers were quite a good party ice-breaker. (Not that there was a lot of ice.) But it was more than that: I'd bet that we're all seriously committed to these goals we've declared and are taking steps today to get there.

It's hard, of course, to figure the steps to a $100,000 contract. But one useful one is to FINISH THE NOVEL.

So I'm about to hit "Publish Post" and start on today's work on mine: without berating myself that it's already past 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

One way or another, time always seems to be an issue: getting it, using it, reaching a goal by a deadline, etc.

For me, the dinner was a double reminder: yesterday was my 57th birthday. My time, it's now clear to me, is not infinite. If this is true for you as well, feel free to join me in getting moving NOW on the NUMBER ONE PROJECT, and get a bit more done on it TODAY.

The Missing Piece for the New Year of Writing

After much pondering, I set out three resolves for the new year that all have to do with allowing me to work more effectively and write with more freedom.

And I LEFT OUT THE OBVIOUS: finish my novel COBALT BLUE and have it scheduled for speedy publication by an appreciative editor with deep pockets for my advance and for an unparalleled promotion budget.

How did I manage to leave that out? It's a mistake I've made before: forgetting the most obvious and pressing and important thing. I discovered that finishing my book isn't on my to-do list either. Jeez! Well, that has changed.

Now I formally add to my resolves for 2006: finish COBALT BLUE, and get a terrific deal that will set the book up for next year's resolution about New York Times bestsellerdom.

And in the future,I'm going to KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. To the contrary of conventional wisdom, it's quite possible to miss it.

Now, ABOUT THE PICTURES: They show more samples of my cross-training in the visual arts--playing at it with no standards at all to refresh my creative engines. And being so bold as to have the results on display all around our house, even when company comes.

On our shed is the Buddhist image of the Eyes of God which I saw so often in Nepal, when I visited there after my winter in Varanasi to research SISTER INDIA. The way the boards were falling off the wall and door suggested this image, which has long hung in my mind.



The pages of squiggles are nothing but that. However, the impulse to make those marks is relevant, because COBALT BLUE is a novel about the mysterious rising of psychic energy called kundalini. Looking at them, I feel that I'm visualizing that movement, and I've had a strong impulse lately that has led to the covering of many pages with these swirls.

A NOTE ON CREATIVE CAPITAL STRATEGY RESULTS: The seminar I went to in December has kept me excited about running my writing consulting business in a way that is better for me and for my work. I've been putting the lessons I learned into effect as fast as I can.

I decided to make a comparison. How did my income compare this December with last December? the holiday season being an invariably slow month for me for any kind of business. Well, I can't directly attribute most of the improvement to the new strategies--or to my new-in-October office with my friend Carrie; but I am pleased to say that my INCOME INCREASE was 275%. That sure dashed the notion that the writing business is always slow in December.

New Year--New Leaf--New Artistic Resolves

Some time back I was promoting here the idea of CROSS-TRAINING FOR ARTISTS of all sorts: doing some work/play in an art form other than the one that's the main focus of serious ambitions.

FOR THREE REASONS:
*It's fun and refreshing to be entirely playful with art.
*It's good practice; that playfulness, which is so productive, will come more easily than otherwise during the "serious work."
*It keeps the engines of creativity, the source of new ideas, well-oiled.

So this is why I have this picture of my personally-hand-beaded leaf here. Or at least it's how I'm justifying showing you this.

My work is words. I fool around, with no standards to meet, with lots of kinds of visual arts and crafts.

Last summer I beaded this roughly 3x4 foot item you see hanging from a tree next to my driveway (we live in a cabin in the woods.) Sewing on this many loose beads allowed me to play with colors and filmy material and gave me lots of time for thoughts to float up. Which they did.

I got the thing ready in time for a party at my house in July. I thought of it as my New Leaf party, though I wasn't really turning over any new leaves at the time. Now I am.

Now this leaf is my New Year's New Leaf: reminding me every time I come and go of my fresh career strategies I learned in the Creative Capital workshop that I've been detailing here for the last month.

And so my New Year's Resolve, which is: value myself (more and in ways that I can feel.) The pieces to put this into practice are:
*increase my income by 20% this year
*spend a minimum of one hour a week organizing my house better, so that everything I use is easily accessible, uncluttered, and pleasant to live with. This hour will, of course, turn into more than one, but if I start with a high requirement I'm likely to put off getting started.
*stop berating myself about anything. Do or don't do--but no wasting energy and time on self-nagging. My plan for doing this is to write down every time I start haranguing myself, and congratulate myself on having caught it. (This tactic came to me at lunch today from the creative mind of my friend and fellow writer Stephanie Bass.)

I will report here how I fare. And I'd like your encouragement.

Happpy New Year and New Resolves to you. I'd love for you to use this space to commit yourself to small definite steps toward what you want most this year.

The Courage to Flourish

At a bonfire last night, standing close as I could get for the warmth, I took part in a small wonderful celebration of the solstice, the longest and darkest night of the year.

Kelley Harrell, author of Gift of the Dreamtime, led this ceremony. The heart of it was her reminder that: OUT OF THE LONG DARKNESS CAN COME CREATIVITY. (I certainly have felt a burst of creativity after a difficult time, and then the same pattern again: almost like stitches in a fabric, the thread sinking, then reappearing.)

In last's night's cold, we each tossed into the fire some symbol of whatever we wished to be finished with from the past year. Because OUT OF DESTRUCTION, SOMETHING NEW must inevitably come.

I threw in a handful of dead leaves; I'd forgotten to bring a home-made symbol. Those leaves stood in for the dead, dry images of the "starving artist" stereotype, whatever limited ambitions I have had that allowed me to run a business that "gets by." This choice had emerged weeks ago from the Creative Capital seminar I've been writing about these recent days.

Now those no-longer-useful ideas are smoke that has dispersed out of existence. I replace them with practices that will allow me and my work to flourish.

For once, I do not fear that this is a New Year's Resolution that will go away. I know it's here to stay.

After solemnizing this vow, I warmed myself with a new taste sensation: hot chocolate made of white chocolate and laced with Triple Sec. Mon Dieu! it was good. A toast to all the births and re-births of the season!

An Uplifting Thought about Artistic Productivity

Here's a piece I (significantly) forgot to mention when I posted the writer work-day recommendation from the Creative Capital seminar.

Part of the 60% of our time we're advised to spend on productive work should be UNCONVENTIONALLY PRODUCTIVE.

That means that taking a walk to clear my head counts.

In a comment to my previous post, "Billie" described ending her work day with a bath in which a MISSING PIECE for the revision of her book popped up in her mind. Obviously, that counted. But this time need not be immediately productive to be crucial.

The RULE OF THUMB advised for unconventional productiveness (whether it produces immediately or not) is 20% of total productive time. For an 8-hour day, that works out to be roughly AN HOUR. I think that's right; feel free to check my math.

I didn't always know about the value of this kind of time. Years ago, I did a lot of work for ad agencies. I remember times I worked in agencys' offices and saw a copywriter sitting at her desk flipping through magazines, and another making paper airplanes and sailing them out a window.

Pretty brassy, I thought, to be loafing like that with the door open. Then I saw how much faster and easier it is to come up with an ad concept and headline with a variety of visual stimulation coming from a lot of different unrelated directions.

So take a walk or a bath for an hour, or more precisely for 57.6 minutes, if I've figured correctly.

And another thing--thanks for visiting here. I feel your presence and I'm glad you're here. Please won't you leave a comment about your own experience. It would help a lot of other people (not to mention keeping the wonderfully-wise-and-frequent-commenter Billie and me company)

Writer Work-Day Report

Today, as promised, I tracked my work-time to see how closely I came to the Creative Capital guideline for a good writer's workday.

What was recommended was 60% of the time spent in production, and 20% each on administration and promotion.

MY OUTCOME: Today I spent half my time on production, about 20% on administration, about 6 percent on promotion, and nearly a quarter on personal errands.

MY REACTION: Well, could be worse since it's almost Christmas.

The awareness of time was very interesting. I did those personal phone calls, last Christmas cards, etc. a lot faster than I might have. I was terribly efficient.

BOTTOM LINE: This practice is going to be useful to me. I do think I got more done, with less lying to myself. And I felt LESS STRESS. Paradoxical, but true.

More later on the lessons from the Creative Capital seminar on Strategic Planning for all kinds of artists.