Just as important as boldness in creativity is the ability to be bold again the next day and the next. I've been a freelance writer since 1972. It's the only way I can imagine living. Yet periodically--for instance, now-- I feel a wavering in the ability to "do it again today." I suppose I could say "the hell with it for right now" and go out and play. But that's a little scary when the work is your day job. So I stay in the saddle.
I know why the wavering happens: it's when I've gone too long since the last burst of out-in-the-world feedback. Right now I'm waiting for two long-overdue phone calls. And that waiting is getting in my way.
Gandhi says we should do the work "and then step back." Don't look around for rewards. Let the focus be on the work alone. I can only do that for so long and then I start to fray.
What helps is refocusing on work. And the ability to do that once again is stamina. By now I have a million psychological tricks I play to keep that happening every day. Sometimes I have to try several. (Today I'm using this blog to get my frustrations off my chest.)
Finally, the process of living a boldly creative life is the ability to start again and start again. The same thing is true of meditation. When my mind wanders, I must kindly guide it back to the moment. The kindness is key. So I'm trying to speak nicely to myself about being so frustrated and give myself credit for getting to work again.
Friday, October 28, 2005
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5 comments:
Some thoughts out of my own struggles with this issue of how to stay with it, whatever it is:
1)I think it was Moise Feldenkreis or one of his followers who said, "no matter what the question is, the answer is always the pelvis."
2)Another tack: no matter what the question is, it is always a spiritual question, and one good answer is "Now."
3)To me, whether one putters or procrastinates, or hauls the boogie on some major identified by the world as important task, the question is always can I give myself fully to the present moment, and, in whatever I'm doing or not doing, can I be saying yes to life?
4) One thought that soothes me in times of resistance and blockage is that while writing is often really valuable and needed, not writing can also be valuable and needed. This insight allows me to show myself the kind of kindness Peggy talks about, to allow the reality of whatever the situation is to be enough, to allow myself to be enough.
You are writing to precisely where I am today!
One thing that helps when I'm waiting for the call/news/feedback from the outside world is to create my own smaller feedback loop.
For the past several days a good writer friend has supplied me with a daily email that inspires. I save it 'til late evening when I'm settling in to work, and when I get stuck, or feel that lack of stamina, I read it and respond.
Carries me through my little slump and provides a boost for him the next day, when he's working and slumping.
:)
And, I might say, reading this blog is another nice boost to my days, writing and otherwise.
Reading your comments is a boost to my day. Thanks, Amey and Billie.
I had to laugh when I read agent 007's latest blog entry - apparently they have the slumps too!!
agent007.blogspot.com
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