Kids scare me more than almost anything. What's troubling is the idea of being responsible for one or more, the trapped feeling of not being able to look away. This is no doubt a function of my touch of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which focuses on the fear of doing harm.
Tonight and tomorrow night, my husband and I are staying with my younger three nephews, ranging from age 5 to 12. They're lovely boys, every one.
Still... This is my vulnerable area, and I'll be there for at least two hours before Bob arrives. Intellectually I know it'll all be fine.
However, it still feels huge. Risky. Unsettling.
It's clear to me that one thing I need to do is give myself credit for doing it at all. Another is to let this remind me to have sympathy for people whose fears I don't share: of flying or public speaking or traveling alone.
I'll let you know how tonight goes. I expect that once I get there it will be fine.
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008
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