Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Shipping a Grant Proposal

My own acts of courage are so minor that they're not even recognizable as such. I think the same is true for a lot of us who aren't living in poverty or war zones or currently raising kids.

Still the small daily triumphs do matter.

Take for, example, the hell I went through yesterday sending off a grant proposal to the proper government agency, using no stamps at all and no paper, using nothing but my computer.

Notices of Error, Notices of Corrupted Files flew at me. Hours passed. Hours! Still, I fought on. Clicking and clicking and calling 800 numbers and clicking.

My office partner congratulated me late in the afternoon for holding back on shouted obscenities during the half an hour that our upstairs neighbor Sarah had a small child in her office.

I kept thinking of Winston Churchill's phlegm-y voice saying, "Never give up. Never give up." And then at a little after 7 p.m. It went through! Received! Verified! And I dragged on home from the battlefield, weary but triumphant.

Now, transcending computing difficulties may not be like carrying people out of burning buildings. However, it's major in my world. Or was yesterday. (I was in a meditation group some time ago, and the leader asked others what their major current stresses were. One woman said, "This group and my computer.") So I'm celebrating--soon as I figure out how I want to do that.


billie said...


Congrats on getting it through and may it bring you that grant on a silver platter... :)

Have fun celebrating - you earned it with that perseverance!


Peggy said...

Thanks. The results aren't reported until December. So if I don't get it, I will at least have forgotten the frustration. I don't think I'd manage that news very well this week.

Erin Blaskie said...

Congratulations Peggy!

I too have recently suffered from computer issues and what I noticed was the more frustrated I became, the more I attracted computer issues and computer frustration. What I do to counter-balance this is I walk away from my desk for just a few short moments, think about what I am grateful for (great job, happy family, etc.) and then sit back down. It seems to help me when I'm struggling with a piece of technology! :)


Peggy said...

I agree. I think that computers are affected by anger and frustration. Maybe the electricity I give off is affected. I've gotten better computer behavior by praying for it. No doubt that changes my electromagnetic field as well. Pretty much the same approach as you're walking away and feeling grateful.