Monday, October 13, 2008

The Groom Changes His Name

The wedding section of my Sunday paper carried a wedding announcement that said: "The groom is taking the bride's last name."

Now this bride, in traditional white gown and veil, was a debutante. The Reverend Doctor father of the groom officiated at the ceremony.

And the son and husband-to-be (who was Phi Beta Kappa in college) changed his name!!

Can you imagine the first conversation on that subject with his parents? His father and grandfather? Hoo-ey! Not to mention anyone else who knows him.

This man is bold. I've kept my maiden name instead of taking my husband's. And even in these enlightened times, I get a surprising amount of "feedback" about this. So I can just imagine what he faces and what he has been through. I expect he can handle it.

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mamie said...

I know this boy and his family. The first thing I wanted to do when I read that was call my daughter and tell her. It seemed a silly statement to me, to tell you the truth.

And interestingly enough, I ran into his mother tonight at Whole Foods. I haven't seen her in a couple of years. I wanted to comment on the last name thing but all I said was, "Both boys married now. How does that feel?" It did seem that there was an elephant in the room. I mean on the sidewalk. Or was it my over-active imagination??

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who did this. He has always hated his own last name, plus he refused to make his new wife go through life saddled with the name "Arial Bus". So he took hers instead.

While there's lengths to which I think it's silly to go to reinvent yourself, if you don't like your name, why the heck not change it?

Peggy Payne said...

I see what you mean about the elephant, Mamie. I think I'd have been trying to restrain my curiousity about why he did it. I thought he had a perfectly fine name.

Not like Arial Bus, Anon. Which is a pretty scary thought. Short for Celestial Omnibus?

I do think that we're free to make all kinds of changes that we don't even think about.

In '72, when I first opted to keep my name, I had to get a lawyer and go to court to make it legal. The county clerk of court said, "You don't love your husband?"

MitMoi said...

Devil's advocate here. I mean, if I got married, I'd be keeping my last name - and there are endless people who just don't "get it". So I'd think about including it in the announcement in the (vain and useless) hope that I would have to mention it one less time when I ran into someone who hadn't been at the wedding.

It annoys me to no end the assumption is you don't LOVE your < insert correct title > because you choose not to share their last name.

< looks at soapbox, steps guiltily off >

Peggy Payne said...

It annoyed me pretty seriously too, Mitmoi. and feel free to get on a soapbox here any time. I've been living on one lately.

billie said...

I occasionally get comments about not taking my husband's last name. The last time it happened, at a car dealership, I was really surprised it was mentioned, and I said so quite loudly. In the 21st century keeping one's maiden name is still a big deal? I guess so.

I know an entire family who changed all their names to one new last name. Interesting way to get around the who was who and who will the children be named after.

Peggy Payne said...

Interesting idea to rename the whole crew. I'll bet the family discussion about what the name should be was entertaining.

And I'll bet your comments at the car dealership were too. I'm glad you were clear with them.

My husband has the kind of last name that inspires crank calls. It never surprises me when it's ten year-olds reacting that way; but there are also some middle-aged ten year olds around. (Being a late middle-aged 14 year-old I'm pretty disapproving of this kind of immaturity.)

I don't even like the term "maiden" name.