Sunday, February 01, 2009

Getting Up the Nerve to Be Genuine

I've just come from my friend Laurel's 70th birthday brunch, held by the members of her Thursday afternoon writer's class/group, which I have been a member of for 26 years.

In advance of the day, we put together a small album in which we each had six pages to use as we wish to express our appreciation to her. As I said in this book, these kinds of productions make me nervous. Too much untempered emotion, I suppose. But I got into it. We all did. She was overwhelmed. It was very satisfying for everyone involved.

Regularly and easily expressing emotion of the warm fuzzy kind-- for me that would be truly bold. What takes courage is so different for each of us. I tell myself that when I see someone go bonkers over a spider.

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Debra W said...

Peggy, I need to begin by saying how sorry I am about the loss of your beloved dog, Nikko. Losing a furry family member is almost as difficult, in some ways, as losing a human. We had to put our fifteen year old cat, Harley, to sleep two weeks ago and the pain is still so raw. He was suddenly struck down with a voracious form of cancer and it would have been cruel to try the invasive treatments. Ultimately, our decision was correct, but it was very hard on both Mark and myself. Seems we have suffered way too much loss in such a short amount of time. Mark has been taking it in a particularly hard way, and it's usually me who takes the longest to heal. I guess there is no knowing how someone is going to respond to a certain loss. Please send Bob my deepest sympathies and allow yourselves to grieve as much as you need to. Nikko was a family member for fourteen years. He was a companion and a friend, as well. He will be missed for a long time to come. I truly am sorry about your loss and I do understand. I wanted to send this to you in a separate email, but I misplaced your email address. I hope that it was okay for me to post it here.

You are so fantastic at expressing your emotions in so many other ways! Yes, I am more of the 'warm/fuzzy' kind, but it's the only way I know. I don't go bonkers over spiders(just scoop them up and put them outside where spiders belong!), but I can get rather mushy at times. I suppose that is part of the reason that I don't have my dad read anything I write these days. He would tell me that I am all "airy-fairy", but hey, seeing the world through those types of eyes has kept me rather sane, so no harm!

Good job at putting together a wonderful tribute for your friend. I am sure it is something she will cherish for a long time to come.

Be gentle with yourself, my friend. Loss can hit us in ways that we never expected.


Anonymous said...

You are a purveyor of genuine emotion through your written word.
I felt your grief at the loss of your doggie, and sensed the complexity of the "ominous" side of 60. Take care.

Peggy Payne said...

Debbie and Anon, Thank you so much for your sympathies. And for your two wonderfully distinct ways of expression. I like them both very much.

It's useful to see once again how feeling really comes through, when we proceed each in our own way. Warm and fuzzy can take a lot of different forms. In every area of life, I cherish the fact that there's no one way.

And a personal thank you to you both.

Debbie, I'm really sorry about Harley, for you and for Mark. Also, I love your marvelously emotional blog. I find it a real up to visit, even when you're dealing with heavy stuff.

Debra W said...

Thank you, Peggy. You are very kind.