--from the wondrously fine writer Marilynne Robinson, in an interview in The Paris Review, as reported in an essay by Meghan O'Rourke in a column for The Week.
And I thought I was the only one who feels I failed if I'm unhappy. Apparently, everybody and their sister feels the same way. The logic for this faulty conclusion is clear: if I'm not happy, then I've been unable to arrange things the way I want them. Which makes me feel like a schlump. But what mortal can arrange everything the way she wants?
I like Robinson's approach much better. It's a lot less arrogant. And it could be a huge relief -- if I ever entirely convince myself.
3 comments:
Hey, Peggy, I like thinking of feeling bad sometimes as a necessity.
Given my family history and personal experiences, it sure beats thinking of feeling bad as impending depression!
...interesting concept. I felt compelled to respond but upon the initial reading, I needed to leave it alone for awhile. I took a walk; that movement helped generate the idea that yes, sadness is extremely neccessary to refocus our priorities,and take inventory of our lives for sure. But I wonder if we aren't 'afraid' of it because that might mean the people in our lives aren't capable or unwilling of filling that void for us?
Good reframing, Greta. And I think it makes a difference in the outcome.
Tracy, I'm impressed by the thoughtfulness of your response. I never took a walk before responding; might be a good idea if I did. And what you came up with I never thought about that before. I do think I'm upset by other people's sadness because I can't do anything about it.
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