This is my announcement that, if offered, I will accept the post of American Idol judge recently vacated by Ms. Paula Abdul.
I bring many assets to the position. At 60, I am of a demographic not currently represented on the panel. Having no musical ability, I will be in no way competitive with the performers. I am not cowed by Cowell, in fact, think he's kinda cute (note: viewers love chemistry!!)
My Southern accent is a plus for any television job. Am able to be sarcastic as needed. Can roll eyes. Can well up with tears. Can make bold pronouncements. Am surprisingly open to make-over advice. Can raise eyebrows (and how!)
I am equipped with live on-camera experience. On public TV.
Can start now. Producers, I am awaiting your ring-a-ding.