Saturday, October 31, 2009

Bold Costume

Tonight's the night.

Here's my rig.

It's not too late for you to break out yours.

Clue: try the Goodwill. I found my ensemble at the Apex, NC, location for six bucks. I think that boils down to a millionth of a penny per shiny red dot.

And so the devil walks tonight!







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Friday, October 30, 2009

Go To O!

At the recommendation of Anonymous on the previous post, I just read a stunning article by a brave woman. "I Will Never Know Why" is Susan Klebold's story of living with the fact that her son committed murder-suicide at Columbine High School.

This is one full-time brave woman. I hope her telling the story is helpful to her.



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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Why All Comparisons Are Odious

The business about comparing people being bad is a cliche.

Ever wonder why?

It's because it's always apples and oranges. There are no equivalent situations. Even identical twins growing up in the same house have different aims and different sets of problems to solve.

I think we all know that at a gut level. But it's easy to forget, especially in the case of self-judgments.

The practice of measuring is "odious" because it's always inaccurate. When I do it, it simply distracts me from doing the things I need to do while here on Earth.



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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Big Courage and Little Courage

My friend with an ovarian tumor had surgery yesterday, and the news was: BENIGN.

What a huge relief, and wash of gratitude.

It occurred to me that in the challenges in life that require the most courage, we have no choice but to proceed.

It's with the easier stuff--hang-gliding, public speaking, returning tricky phone calls--that we have a choice and can get wobbly. Maybe we should remember that when it comes to courage: we're all marathoners. That very recognition could make the easier stuff easier.





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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Boldly Unwinding

Seems that letting go of the usual self-imposed structure leads to some serious sleeping. Not what I expected, but entirely predictable.

I've always found that as long as I work intensely, I don't get sick. Colds, etc., happen after deadlines. And that can make a person delay in letting up.

But pressing on and on is ultimately counterproductive, personally and professionally. Right now I'm finding this going-slack business really nice.

Religion and politics blogger Doug Muder has a wonderful post on this subject called The Stages of Rest.

Note: when I glanced back at the title of this post just now, I read it as Bodily Unwinding. Of course, it's more than that.



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Friday, October 23, 2009

Boldly Taking a Day Off

Been overworking for about a year. This morning I woke up, knew I didn't have a deadline or an appointment today, and decided against doing anything terribly productive until Monday. (Email and blogging don't count)

So I'm having Ferris Bueller's day off. Husband Bob has been rambling about with me; he's half-retired and already had the day off. We've poked around in Carrboro, the Paris of the South: thrift shops, used books, a camera store, a bead store (he was patient), a run through McDonald's for sweet tea, now the Chapel Hill Library. Soon a Mexican hole-in-the-wall restaurant (the Fiesta Grill, which seats 13) that's supposed to be amazingly good. (There's nothing like warm gooey cheese in my estimation.)

Probably Bernanke will announce early next week that my taking a day off is yet another sign of the receding recession.



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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bold Color

What is it about orange that makes it a "bolder" color than the others? Bolder even than red. A field of pumpkins for example, is much more vibrant than a great pile of cucumbers or eggplant.

There's probably some optical reason.

In the absence of knowing what that might be, I dare to guess: orange arrives at the eye sooner than indigo? there's less orange in the typical background? it has some innate charisma?

My hope is that when I figure it out, I'll know something about forthrightness that I didn't know before.

My research turns up the following:
About.com says the color is mentally stimulating, less aggressive than red, sociable, and associated with change.

Color expert Kate Smith says orange is more controversial than any other color; people have strong feelings about it one way or another. Also, it's fun and flamboyant. (I think we know what side she's on.)

Orange is the color linked with the second chakra, which is in turn associated with creativity and sex, happiness and courage.

Got anything orange in your closet?



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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

This Has Nothing To Do With Boldness

This is an example of why we sometimes grind our teeth and then rush to watch Jon Stewart. This is a reminder (as if it were needed) that sometimes we are beyond the reach of caricature and satire. Here is an actual quote from an online help desk individual who couldn't answer my question.

"...Your concern will need to be taken care by the Concerned department."





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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Ultimate Adventure

My writing group is showing its age, as one of our number pointed out last week. The group has been meeting on Thursday afternoons for 26 years and we weren't kids when we started.

Recently one of the gang said she would in the future be coming only very occasionally. She has a serious chronic ailment that limits her mobility. Another has a pacemaker and continuing heart trouble. One wears hearing aids. Yet another has some surgery scheduled for Monday and I had a round of that myself a few years ago.

We range in age now from 51 to 71, and have been lucky so far. No deaths. No malignancies unless you count a wee skin cancer, which I don't (and it was mine, so I get to decide.) I'm 60 and have dodged all large bullets so far.

It's a truism that "old age is not for sissies." No kidding. Getting old is an adventure of the tallest sort. Much more dangerous than rock-climbing, for example. Harder to beat than any casino.

I don't want to rush it, of course. I do have a sense of calling here on Earth, to tell particular stories. I know that's grandiose, but it helps me plan my time. I'd like to get further along with my assignment before having to quit. I'd also like a bestseller or two, but that's a different adventure.

The important thing about the aging adventure so far is that it's a team sport, much better done with friends. My writing group, which BTW has produced quite a good pile of good books with more to come, is "in it for the long haul," including any who have to come only occasionally. I'm proud of this bold set of pals.





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Monday, October 19, 2009

A Procedural Question

I've had report that it has recently been hard/confusing/impossible to leave a comment here.

If you've had such difficulty, would you email me and let me know? ppayne51@cs.com.

Thanks.




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Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Courage to Make a Controversial Stand

A new hero of mine: Olympia Snowe, Republican senator from Maine.

She's the only senator of her party to vote for the Obama-backed healthcare reform bill this week. And she has ignored right-wing doctrine before: voting against a bill to ban gay marriage.

Hail, Ms. Snowe.

I hope her courage and her thinking set a good example for others on votes to come. I'd never heard of her before this week, but I won't forget her now.




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Saturday, October 17, 2009

Step Outside the Walls

Brisk weather is, for me, enlivening. It's the season of new resolves, freshly sharpened pencils, and perkier energy. Perhaps that's just in North Carolina, where the mugginess tends to lift by mid-October.

In Chapel Hill, the temp just now is 56. The wind is north at 5 mph, and the humidity is 56%. We should arrive at 59 before the day is out--not exactly sweaty.

To take advantage of any perkifying effects, however,it's important to actually step outside one's door.

A sobering detail from Science Daily:

"...People in industrialized countries, on average, spend 93 percent of their time indoors, making them largely disconnected from the impact of changing weather outside."

The Science Daily article seems to favor warm weather, BTW. Perhaps the researchers are based in Lake Wobegon. I for one am emboldened by crispy air.



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Friday, October 16, 2009

Dare to Stand Out

University professor meets with student to go over his work. (on Halloween) See previous post: Feeling Like the Only One? Got your Halloween costume yet?








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Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Daring and Beauty of "Dear & Yonder"

Surfer women are the subject and the stars of a charming and inspiring new movie I went to see last night. "Dear & Yonder: Daring Stories of Ladies United by the Sea" had its Pittsboro, North Carolina premiere at Pittsboro General Store Cafe.

This inland village(pop.2525), 20 minutes from my house, is where one of the auteurs grew up. Andria Lessler came back to town with her movie (three years in the works) and it played to a crowded and delighted house.

It's rare that a piece of art feels all at once sunny and delightful and seriously inspiring, without being sentimental. Dear & Yonder, the story of women in surfing all over the world, manages this feat.

If you want a glimpse at some role models for daring, athletic skill, careful artistry in any field, or the creation of a new category/identity, watch the trailer here or go to the Dear & Yonder website. (DVDs will be available in early December.)

This film is also a tribute to the gorgeousness of people, the ocean, and the planet. Next showing is in Portland, Oregon.







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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Why We Should Celebrate Failures

From Success Magazine this month:

"When is the last time you rewarded yourself for failing? Probably never. Instead of mentally punishing yourself for not succeeding, buy yourself an ice cream cone and say, 'Great job! I'm one step closer to success!" On the surface this sounds silly, but celebrating failure is one of the best ways to stop letting no have a negative hold on your thoughts and emotions."

--from "YES Is The Destination; NO Is How You Get There" by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz



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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Baby Blue Courage

A young couple who live down the other fork of my dirt road had a baby a few weeks ago. Their first one died in infancy a couple of years ago and it was very, very hard. I'm so proud of them and their courage for starting again.

They have one huge celebratory blue bow on their mailbox in the otherwise nondescript row of boxes out by the main road. Possibly the biggest and perkiest looking baby bow I've ever seen.



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Monday, October 12, 2009

Boldness in Crisis

I'm watching a friend go through a crisis and handle it in a manner that is thoughtful and purposeful and yet emotionally in touch.

This same friend gets into a fury if she misplaces her sunglasses.

I'm impressed. And I'm also encouraged by the thought that real trouble may call up resources we didn't know we had. I happen to get unhinged if my email doesn't do right. And I hate to think about a proportionate response to a crisis that's many times larger.

Maybe we expend our furies safely on the little stuff and haul out our best in the face of the most daunting.




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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Several Reasons to Seize the Day

Hyper-alive today. Partly the blue sky and October air. Mainly it's being reminded by the waiting-for-news friend I posted about yesterday and then seeing last night another pal who is increasingly disabled. I'm worried for both of them and yet overwhelmingly glad we're all three alive.

And one more thing, I just left the reunion of participants in a June writing workshop at Meredith University. (I led the fiction-writing group that week.) Today people read from what they're working on--and reported an impressive number of stories and poems accepted for publication. Hearing all that also felt enlivening to me: plus, of course, there was the fruit/cheesecake tart and the cookies, the gustatory equivalent of blue skies and fall air.

So to recap, reasons for seizing the day:
*weather
*good buddies
*cookies and other pastries
*art
*progress
*time is short.



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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Looking for Meaning

A buddy got some worrisome news. And now has the anxiety of waiting for more info.

Maybe the worrisome-news category of events exists to put things like email problems into perspective, for all concerned.

However, I can easily conceive of a universe in which there's never a bad biopsy and no vexing computer problems either. That would do a lot for my perspective.

I guess the bold thing, though, is to "get" in a gut way the fact that that universe isn't the one we currently have. And then figure out how to manage, moment by moment, as gracefully as possible in the one we do have.



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Friday, October 09, 2009

Feeling Like the Only One?

An English professor of my acquaintance was teaching a freshmen class on a day that fell on Halloween. She assumed that surely the students would dress for the occasion. And so she rigged out in witch regalia, including silver mask and tall blue diaphanous cone hat.

None of the students dressed up. She swears that she didn't flinch, just proceeded comfortably teaching the class as a witch.

Obviously she has magical powers.



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Thursday, October 08, 2009

Feeling Timid?

Standing in line at lunch today at one of the hip green lite fast-food places called Evo's, waiting for my low-fat chocolate shake, I picked up one of their hip magazines, Paste, which carries the slogan: "Signs of Life in Music, Film, and Culture."


"African Queen"
was the story I started browsing, and then seriously reading. This article about Malian singer and businesswoman Oumou Sangare had not a trace of jaded attitude to it. It was old-fashioned dazzlingly inspiring (well-written to boot.)

This woman sings in the language Bambara about justice and reform. Doesn't sound like a money-maker to me, but she has become an international music sensation (though without my having heard of her before.) And she truly "speaks truth to power."

Here's an example of her courage:

"She once sang an anti-polygamy song to the King of Swaziland—'he had three wives on one side and four wives on the other!' Sangare laughs before getting serious. 'Polygamy is the worst thing that anyone can possibly do to a woman. I respect the choice of women who say they know what they’re doing and want to jump into the fire, but often they don’t have a voice. Their opinion isn’t asked for. For 20 years, I’ve been singing directly to women in Mali and Africa, telling them what’s really important is to have self-confidence. They can become autonomous and independent.'"

Feeling inspired by her example? I am. Paste is right: she's definitely a sign of life.



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Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Halloween Is a Holiday to Lift the Spirits

Do you have your Halloween costume yet?

I found mine by happy accident a couple weeks ago at a local Goodwill. I'd already been invited to a party. And then a few days later what do I see on one of the acres of racks but a sparkling floor-length red number, tagged Sultry Devil. It was $6 and amazing: a strapless sheath shining from top to bottom with see-through red bat sleeves and a small hooded cape as a wrap.

I've been so excited about this that I have the feeling I've posted about it already, though I don't find it on my blog.

If you want to add an enlivening tidbit to your schedule this month make a fun little to-do this year about this paradoxically playful celebration.

(My husband Bob has a pair of glittering red devil horns he always wears on Halloween in his office all day while seeing patients.)






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Monday, October 05, 2009

Self-Actualizing Bouquets

Flower arranging once seemed to me an impossible art. That was back when I tried to make the posies fall into the places I had in mind.

I gave that up.

Now I let the stems pretty much have their way. And I put in some of most everything that's blooming. This approach produces a sort of oddness, and doesn't reach levels of doing weddings or of ikebana, but it's a great pleasure to me and keeps a little something live on the table.

That big round thing on the right is a mock orange, BTW, a wonderfully eccentric plant. The fruit has the fuzz of a peach and the size of a plum, smells like an orange, and maybe I'll get emboldened and taste one.





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Creative Doodling: Three-Dimensional


A piece of anonymous folk art was standing in front of my drugstore Saturday when I pulled into the parking lot.

There on the grass was an edifice built of plastic knives. I think the elements might have already have pushed it a little out of shape. Nonetheless, it remained luminous, a nice little discovery to happen upon.

I like the idea of turning disposable knives into a bit of art. In general, I like evidence of people looking at things in more than one way.

And after all, I live in the area that recently became famous for the Barrel Monster, the late night creation of another imaginative person who created a national sensation out of some traffic markers.

Once one person opens the door, all kinds of stuff starts happening.



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Saturday, October 03, 2009

Enraged and Obsessed

With the email horrors that I've been having increasingly for months now, TRULY BOLD would be thinking about anything else.



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Friday, October 02, 2009

A Bold Man

Today is the birthday of Gandhi, a man who faced unending heartbreaking frustrations and yet changed the world radically and for the better. He was also notably nice to people, including his jailers, most of the way. A sterling example of bold living. This sculpture of him sits three blocks from my office.





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Thursday, October 01, 2009

A Recommendation for Writers

You know that website called Publishers Marketplace? You can get a lot of info at no charge there, including a free newsletter about the publishing industry, what book just sold by what agent to what editor for what price level.

I've generally ignored the $20 a month membership option for additional info there, thinking that one way or another I could find what I want for free. That may be true, but it takes a long time.

I just ponied up the $20 for a month and, goodness gracious, it was worth it. Want to know who's representing who and what the email is? I don't know of a faster way to get it. I was amazed. And membership is month by month, so you don't have to keep paying once your need is past.





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