The wedding section of my Sunday paper carried a wedding announcement that said: "The groom is taking the bride's last name."
Now this bride, in traditional white gown and veil, was a debutante. The Reverend Doctor father of the groom officiated at the ceremony.
And the son and husband-to-be (who was Phi Beta Kappa in college) changed his name!!
Can you imagine the first conversation on that subject with his parents? His father and grandfather? Hoo-ey! Not to mention anyone else who knows him.
This man is bold. I've kept my maiden name instead of taking my husband's. And even in these enlightened times, I get a surprising amount of "feedback" about this. So I can just imagine what he faces and what he has been through. I expect he can handle it.
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Monday, October 13, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
GASP! Girlfriends Appalled about Sarah Palin
Here's the latest report from the three-week-old organization that's turning into a Raleigh, NC, campaign phenom. Their results are even better than I'd reported earlier. This group is beyond bold; they're on fire.
Greetings Fellow Gaspers!
Thank you for the phenomenal turnout on Wednesday night at Megg Rader's house, where we pledged to each other to truly make a difference in this, the most important presidential election of our lives.
GASP! originated from a meeting two weeks ago where a few friends gathered to vent their anger and frustration at John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate. We decided that we could not sit quietly, but should -- some of us for the first time -- play an active role in electing Barack Obama as our next President. The next week, 60 more women chimed in and this past Wednesday, 110. The spirit of GASP! (Girlfriends Appalled about Sarah Palin) goes far beyond Sarah Palin herself. We're much more about being for Obama than against McCain. But it was that one, profoundly cynical and insulting choice that hit a raw nerve for hundreds, probably thousands of women here in Wake County. We are moved to action!
We know there are countless other women like us, who -- banded together in a great cause -- can launch Obama to a double digit victory in Wake County. And we believe that as Wake County goes, so goes North Carolina. As North Carolina goes, so goes America. And as America goes, so goes the world.
Last week, we collectively contributed over 200 hours to the campaign
and over $3,000. It's a great start, but there's much more to do!
We have a rare opportunity here, and only 25 days left to seize it. So our commitments to each other can not be taken lightly. Until we meet again next Wednesday, we have challenged ourselves to:
· Volunteer in the Obama Campaign at least 2 hours. Canvas, phonebank, feed volunteers, stuff envelopes. Email Anne Franklin at annesfranklin@mindspring.com if you need help getting connected
· Contribute at least $5 to the NC Obama Campaign (https://donate.barackobama.com/page/contribute/ovfnorthcarolina). Put "GASP" in the "Referred By" box.
· Invite at least 5 friends to attend our meeting next week and bring a bottle of wine to share.
· Work on at least one Gasp "Big Idea" such as our benefit concert with the Swingin' Johnsons on Oct 23rd. Contact Elizabeth Benefield eabenefield@aol.com to sign up.
· Expand our reach to include more women of color. Our fight is their fight and we should stand together in this historic time. Email Megg Rader at mrader@bellsouth.net to strategize about this work.
· Reach out to Garner and Cary and North Raleigh to band with other women's networks all across Wake County. Contact Carol Lawrence at cjlawrence@nc.rr.com
· Tirelessly promote the early vote (Oct 16-Nov 1). We will tell our families, our neighbors, our cashiers and bagboys and anyone else who will listen! http://www.wakegov.com/elections/onestop/default.htm
· Donate or lend tables, chairs, computers, office supplies and phone sets to the new Obama field office at 600 St. Mary's Street. Call Leah Cowan at 802-8164 to arrange a drop-off.
Our next meeting will be:
Wednesday, October 15
at 7:00PM (1/2 hour earlier this week so we won't miss the debate)
at the new Obama field office at 600 St. Mary's Street (formerly Mitchell's)
BRING 5 FRIENDS, A BOTTLE OF WINE AND A LAWN CHAIR.
Homemade signs are optional, but wonderful if you have the time!
We will sing, laugh, whoop, vent, share and welcome our newest members. We will pose for an historic GASP portrait. We will be entertained by amazing women! We will tally our accomplishments and set our next goals even higher.
It is an inspiration to be part of such an energetic and passionate group. I can't wait to see you all on Wednesday and hear your stories.
All the best,
Carter Worthy
carter@carterworthy.com
919-961-3595
Never doubt that a small group of energized Girlfriends can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has…
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Greetings Fellow Gaspers!
Thank you for the phenomenal turnout on Wednesday night at Megg Rader's house, where we pledged to each other to truly make a difference in this, the most important presidential election of our lives.
GASP! originated from a meeting two weeks ago where a few friends gathered to vent their anger and frustration at John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate. We decided that we could not sit quietly, but should -- some of us for the first time -- play an active role in electing Barack Obama as our next President. The next week, 60 more women chimed in and this past Wednesday, 110. The spirit of GASP! (Girlfriends Appalled about Sarah Palin) goes far beyond Sarah Palin herself. We're much more about being for Obama than against McCain. But it was that one, profoundly cynical and insulting choice that hit a raw nerve for hundreds, probably thousands of women here in Wake County. We are moved to action!
We know there are countless other women like us, who -- banded together in a great cause -- can launch Obama to a double digit victory in Wake County. And we believe that as Wake County goes, so goes North Carolina. As North Carolina goes, so goes America. And as America goes, so goes the world.
Last week, we collectively contributed over 200 hours to the campaign
and over $3,000. It's a great start, but there's much more to do!
We have a rare opportunity here, and only 25 days left to seize it. So our commitments to each other can not be taken lightly. Until we meet again next Wednesday, we have challenged ourselves to:
· Volunteer in the Obama Campaign at least 2 hours. Canvas, phonebank, feed volunteers, stuff envelopes. Email Anne Franklin at annesfranklin@mindspring.com if you need help getting connected
· Contribute at least $5 to the NC Obama Campaign (https://donate.barackobama.com/page/contribute/ovfnorthcarolina). Put "GASP" in the "Referred By" box.
· Invite at least 5 friends to attend our meeting next week and bring a bottle of wine to share.
· Work on at least one Gasp "Big Idea" such as our benefit concert with the Swingin' Johnsons on Oct 23rd. Contact Elizabeth Benefield eabenefield@aol.com to sign up.
· Expand our reach to include more women of color. Our fight is their fight and we should stand together in this historic time. Email Megg Rader at mrader@bellsouth.net to strategize about this work.
· Reach out to Garner and Cary and North Raleigh to band with other women's networks all across Wake County. Contact Carol Lawrence at cjlawrence@nc.rr.com
· Tirelessly promote the early vote (Oct 16-Nov 1). We will tell our families, our neighbors, our cashiers and bagboys and anyone else who will listen! http://www.wakegov.com/elections/onestop/default.htm
· Donate or lend tables, chairs, computers, office supplies and phone sets to the new Obama field office at 600 St. Mary's Street. Call Leah Cowan at 802-8164 to arrange a drop-off.
Our next meeting will be:
Wednesday, October 15
at 7:00PM (1/2 hour earlier this week so we won't miss the debate)
at the new Obama field office at 600 St. Mary's Street (formerly Mitchell's)
BRING 5 FRIENDS, A BOTTLE OF WINE AND A LAWN CHAIR.
Homemade signs are optional, but wonderful if you have the time!
We will sing, laugh, whoop, vent, share and welcome our newest members. We will pose for an historic GASP portrait. We will be entertained by amazing women! We will tally our accomplishments and set our next goals even higher.
It is an inspiration to be part of such an energetic and passionate group. I can't wait to see you all on Wednesday and hear your stories.
All the best,
Carter Worthy
carter@carterworthy.com
919-961-3595
Never doubt that a small group of energized Girlfriends can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has…
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
How To Be Bold Now
1. Ride out the stock market situation. Hold on to any investments you have. Trust that the value will come back. It's the gutsy and right thing to do for ourselves and each other.
2. Continue to focus on your work, the substance of it, what you're here on earth to accomplish.
3. Enjoy the feeling of solidarity: for once, we're all in this mess together. And those of us who are artists have some familiarity with money worries; this time the English majors who decided to go to law school instead of being novelists are worrying with us.
4. Spend some time outdoors in the enlivening fall weather.
5. Indulge in some small luxury that makes you feel rich. (I'm personally keeping the Hershey's organization alive.)
6. Give some time or money to the needy. (See The Healing Power of Doing Good by Allan Luks with Peggy Payne.)
7. Campaign. (For Obama.)
8. Pray. Seriously. It helps.
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2. Continue to focus on your work, the substance of it, what you're here on earth to accomplish.
3. Enjoy the feeling of solidarity: for once, we're all in this mess together. And those of us who are artists have some familiarity with money worries; this time the English majors who decided to go to law school instead of being novelists are worrying with us.
4. Spend some time outdoors in the enlivening fall weather.
5. Indulge in some small luxury that makes you feel rich. (I'm personally keeping the Hershey's organization alive.)
6. Give some time or money to the needy. (See The Healing Power of Doing Good by Allan Luks with Peggy Payne.)
7. Campaign. (For Obama.)
8. Pray. Seriously. It helps.
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Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Hotheaded is Different from Bold
From Robert Greenwald, documentary director and producer, and his Brave New Films:
"During (Tuesday) night's debate, John McCain said we need "a cool hand at the tiller," but McCain has proven to be a loose cannon. He has accosted his Congressional colleagues on both sides of the aisle on everything from the federal budget to diplomatic relations. He is known for hurling profanities rather than settling disagreements calmly. His belligerence is legendary. Even conservative Senator Thad Cochran of Mississippi has said, "He is erratic. He is hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me."
When someone earns the nickname "Senator Hothead," the public ought to call his character into question. McCain's propensity to explode undermines his abilities as a rational decision maker, particularly on national security issues -- which could prove disastrous considering our country is already involved in two wars."
See the video.
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"During (Tuesday) night's debate, John McCain said we need "a cool hand at the tiller," but McCain has proven to be a loose cannon. He has accosted his Congressional colleagues on both sides of the aisle on everything from the federal budget to diplomatic relations. He is known for hurling profanities rather than settling disagreements calmly. His belligerence is legendary. Even conservative Senator Thad Cochran of Mississippi has said, "He is erratic. He is hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me."
When someone earns the nickname "Senator Hothead," the public ought to call his character into question. McCain's propensity to explode undermines his abilities as a rational decision maker, particularly on national security issues -- which could prove disastrous considering our country is already involved in two wars."
See the video.
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Support Group
Last night I went to the Raleigh Arts Commission's awards ceremony for the annual Medal of the Arts and came away inspired to do things! make art! persevere!
I also heard about an informal campaign group I was initially asked to join: a bunch of women getting together to ponder how to support Obama. At the time I said: I'm already doing all I have time to do; in truth I could have made time for more.
Last night, I heard about how, after two meetings, this group has evolved. It went from a few women to 60-some between meetings one and two. The name is: GASP. Girlfriends Appalled by Sarah Palin. And as my friend at the party told me, "we aren't just bitchin'." They're all taking assignments to register, drive voters, take food to volunteers, etc. It's impressive.
Which brings me to my point: the support of the group. My campaign efforts have faltered, I think, because I feel like a solitary clipboard wandering the streets. No fault of the campaign's; I just haven't attended the get-togethers that I could have.
Whereas, for my writing I've always had the support of various groups. From parents and teachers in my childhood, to my writer-buddies and my weekly writing group now.
It makes a huge difference. So, if you find your bold creative efforts faltering, if your commitment seems to be fraying, try getting a few kindred spirits to cheer you on. It's amazing what booster rockets a few knowledgeable buddies can be.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
I also heard about an informal campaign group I was initially asked to join: a bunch of women getting together to ponder how to support Obama. At the time I said: I'm already doing all I have time to do; in truth I could have made time for more.
Last night, I heard about how, after two meetings, this group has evolved. It went from a few women to 60-some between meetings one and two. The name is: GASP. Girlfriends Appalled by Sarah Palin. And as my friend at the party told me, "we aren't just bitchin'." They're all taking assignments to register, drive voters, take food to volunteers, etc. It's impressive.
Which brings me to my point: the support of the group. My campaign efforts have faltered, I think, because I feel like a solitary clipboard wandering the streets. No fault of the campaign's; I just haven't attended the get-togethers that I could have.
Whereas, for my writing I've always had the support of various groups. From parents and teachers in my childhood, to my writer-buddies and my weekly writing group now.
It makes a huge difference. So, if you find your bold creative efforts faltering, if your commitment seems to be fraying, try getting a few kindred spirits to cheer you on. It's amazing what booster rockets a few knowledgeable buddies can be.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
"A Writer's Struggle for Emotional Freedom"
A couple of years ago, I posted about a tactic I was using to help myself keep writing through a sticky place in my novel:
"...When I was feeling shocked by what I was writing, I read bits of an autobiography by a friend, Lucy Daniels, With a Woman's Voice: A Writer's Struggle for Emotional Freedom , which was startlingly personal and disclosing. I kept thinking: if she can do this, I can surely keep on spinning this fiction."
Tonight I'm going to the ceremony for Lucy to receive the Raleigh Arts Commission's Medal of Arts for 2008. Boldness rewarded!
I'm telling how I used her book for encouragement on a documentary about her career that they'll be showing. (Which I haven't seen yet, and I'm indeed curious.)
Again, the technique, which worked very well: About every 45 minutes or so, when my courage would be fading again, I'd stop work on my own book, and read a few pages of Lucy's, and think, "Well, if she can do this...."
You probably know of a book or piece of music or some such that has done or could do the same thing for you.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
"...When I was feeling shocked by what I was writing, I read bits of an autobiography by a friend, Lucy Daniels, With a Woman's Voice: A Writer's Struggle for Emotional Freedom , which was startlingly personal and disclosing. I kept thinking: if she can do this, I can surely keep on spinning this fiction."
Tonight I'm going to the ceremony for Lucy to receive the Raleigh Arts Commission's Medal of Arts for 2008. Boldness rewarded!
I'm telling how I used her book for encouragement on a documentary about her career that they'll be showing. (Which I haven't seen yet, and I'm indeed curious.)
Again, the technique, which worked very well: About every 45 minutes or so, when my courage would be fading again, I'd stop work on my own book, and read a few pages of Lucy's, and think, "Well, if she can do this...."
You probably know of a book or piece of music or some such that has done or could do the same thing for you.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Send Message: Big-Time
In my neighborhood thrift shop, clothes are grouped, not by size, but by color. So it takes a while to shop, but the gradations of yellow to orange, etc. are mouth-wateringly appealing.
I was taking my weekly wander-through recently and the print skirts section seized my eye. Here's the one I bought: pansies made large. Even the modest little face of the pansy can be monumental.
When you want to go bold, super-sizing is the no-brainer of techniques. And it's oddly easy to forget the no-brainer.
I did some research once on how to write about the sacred. Theologian Rudolf Otto in his book The Idea of the Holy suggested that among other things, making a symbol big is a good start toward representing the holy.
I was doing that research in order to give a lecture on Moby Dick at Banaras Hindu University in Varanasi, India. I wound up writing my novel, Sister India, which I was researching on that trip, about a woman who weighs over four hundred pounds.
I didn't set out to do that. It was the Ganges I was thinking about as the sacred in the novel, and certainly it is large. I wound up with a character on the same scale. Obviously, Otto got his message across.
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Thursday, October 02, 2008
Just Breathe Here
Oh, you must try this. I just happened across it. It's a breathing room online. A site where you can breathe in concert with everyone else who goes there, so there's a companionable feeling. And it slows the breath, relaxes the body (a bit), and helps to clear the mind. Wow! All this and I can still stay online.
I have the synchronized world breath in my ears now. My shoulders just relaxed--even though I'm typing!!!
(It's hard to be bold in an effective way, if you're not fundamentally calm and operating from your solar plexus. My shrink husband Bob is ever saying to me: Breathe! Breathe!)
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I have the synchronized world breath in my ears now. My shoulders just relaxed--even though I'm typing!!!
(It's hard to be bold in an effective way, if you're not fundamentally calm and operating from your solar plexus. My shrink husband Bob is ever saying to me: Breathe! Breathe!)
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Laptop Gone Wild
The mind of my laptop has taken off on its own. I don't favor this in a laptop. I want absolute fidelity from all my machines.
What's happened is that when I type "e," what shows up is both "e" and the letter next to it, so that I get "ew." Which is not always what I want to say.
And it's happening at scattered locations all over my keyboard.
(If anybody knows anything about this problem, I would love to hear from you!)
Otherwise, I'll be writing at a public computer in the Chapel Hill Library, as I am now. Or I'll be writing items like this:
It'sd sdomewtimnewsd vewry sdifficult to dsesal ewith thew inmdsewpewnmdsewnmcew of othewrsd.
Translation: It's sometimes very difficult to deal with the independence of others.
Especially those as close as one's computer.
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What's happened is that when I type "e," what shows up is both "e" and the letter next to it, so that I get "ew." Which is not always what I want to say.
And it's happening at scattered locations all over my keyboard.
(If anybody knows anything about this problem, I would love to hear from you!)
Otherwise, I'll be writing at a public computer in the Chapel Hill Library, as I am now. Or I'll be writing items like this:
It'sd sdomewtimnewsd vewry sdifficult to dsesal ewith thew inmdsewpewnmdsewnmcew of othewrsd.
Translation: It's sometimes very difficult to deal with the independence of others.
Especially those as close as one's computer.
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Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Writing: Bold Characterization
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When I teach character development in fiction writing, I rely on an exceedingly clever (personally assembled) acronym, TOADS.
To show what a character is experiencing from the inside, use that person's:
*Thoughts, in the ragged language of thought
*Observation, what the person notices
*Action
*Dialogue
*Sensation
What not to do: explain and summarize the person's personality.
I like to make the TOADS point clear in the most vivid, bold, and tangible way. I've done this before by bringing a live toad to class and setting the little fellow loose.
Lately I've been gathering a collection of thrift-shop toy toads, to give students or clients as memory devices.
Here are a few of them on my arts-and-crafts spot at home, irresistibly colorful and distinct, every one of them a real character.
In addiion to offering writing advice, any one of them can be a desk toy reminder to be one's own vivid self.
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Labels:
authenticity,
business of writing,
self-expression
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Dream Up an Innovative Response
Grabbed a tape I'd had for years yesterday to listen to riding in to my office: "The Wild Woman Archetype" from Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run with the Wolves.
The tape is billed as "Myths and Stories about the Instinctual Nature of Women."
Now, I'm one who thinks that guys are pretty instinctual, too.
But it's also true that women historically have had much less freedom to exercise their/our instincts. The sexual double standard of my growing-up years, for one annoying example.
What stuck with me from what I listened to was about how to react in a crisis, or a situation where you're stuck with severe limits. What Estes advises is: don't be a martyr, be innovative. Stick with your dreams and plans and passion, and figure out ways to get where you're going, or as close as you can, even though you may be working with some tough conditions. Like financial pressure, burdensome obligations, illness, any of that stuff.
If we can't use it, we gotta figure how to work around it.
Get where we're going, anyway.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
The tape is billed as "Myths and Stories about the Instinctual Nature of Women."
Now, I'm one who thinks that guys are pretty instinctual, too.
But it's also true that women historically have had much less freedom to exercise their/our instincts. The sexual double standard of my growing-up years, for one annoying example.
What stuck with me from what I listened to was about how to react in a crisis, or a situation where you're stuck with severe limits. What Estes advises is: don't be a martyr, be innovative. Stick with your dreams and plans and passion, and figure out ways to get where you're going, or as close as you can, even though you may be working with some tough conditions. Like financial pressure, burdensome obligations, illness, any of that stuff.
If we can't use it, we gotta figure how to work around it.
Get where we're going, anyway.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Handling Fear of Whatever
Inspiring encouraging on-line play-anytime WebTalkRadio.Net interview on managing fear successfully:
Diane Brandon, formerly of Raleigh, now of Tennessee, on her show "Vibrant Living," talks with Jacqueline Wales, Scottish (faint but lovely accent) author of When the Crow Sings and the forthcoming Fearless Factor, as well as being the host of her own radio show, "Fearlessly Speaking."
This not-so-long conversation is a good thing to listen to in a time of dramatic economic crisis.
Wales talks about what she has been through--leaving home at 15, drugs, giving up her three-month old baby, and more-- then facing her fears to have a child many years later.
Both she and Brandon have a spiritual base to their thinking, both referring to a belief in an ultimately (though not instantly) benevolent universe, which can be a great cushion in dealing with fright.
A couple of other thoughts from Wales which I found memorable:
* "Love yourself and watch others love you more" because you're not seeking their approval and reassurance.
*"Fear is our passion dying to get out."
*Be kind to yourself when you're scared. No harsh self-talk.
And more.
What are your tactics for bold living in the current uneasiness?
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Diane Brandon, formerly of Raleigh, now of Tennessee, on her show "Vibrant Living," talks with Jacqueline Wales, Scottish (faint but lovely accent) author of When the Crow Sings and the forthcoming Fearless Factor, as well as being the host of her own radio show, "Fearlessly Speaking."
This not-so-long conversation is a good thing to listen to in a time of dramatic economic crisis.
Wales talks about what she has been through--leaving home at 15, drugs, giving up her three-month old baby, and more-- then facing her fears to have a child many years later.
Both she and Brandon have a spiritual base to their thinking, both referring to a belief in an ultimately (though not instantly) benevolent universe, which can be a great cushion in dealing with fright.
A couple of other thoughts from Wales which I found memorable:
* "Love yourself and watch others love you more" because you're not seeking their approval and reassurance.
*"Fear is our passion dying to get out."
*Be kind to yourself when you're scared. No harsh self-talk.
And more.
What are your tactics for bold living in the current uneasiness?
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Forgetful?
I did something so breathtakingly empty-headed I can't even believe it.
(This has nothing to do with being bold at all. Just following up on my boating adventures.)
I lost my boat. My sweet little inflatable kayak, in which I have traveled as much as 8 miles in an afternoon.
I lost it by walking off and leaving it, forgetting to put it back in the trunk of my car. It always takes me two trips to get the boat and gear from water's edge back into the car. On this occasion 2 weeks ago, I simply forgot to make the second trip. Instead I got into the car and drove off.
There's some excuse in the fact that I was a little addled, because the boat had sprung a leak. I discovered about 50 feet from shore that the right side was deflating fast. It was not a convenient day for swimming because, in spite of the 80+ degree weather I was wearing knee high rubber boots because I had a cut on my leg that wasn't supposed to get wet. But I got to shore with no problem because I was close and the wind and water were strongly heading that way.
I hadn't realized that if one of the compartments of the boat were to go flat, it would no longer be a boat, it would be a sort of raft. So perhaps I was unconsciously feeling "let down" and annoyed and thus walked off.
Sure didn't mean to leave it there.
Now I've posted signs at the boat ramp, called four government agencies, felt like a crestfallen fool. Somewhat forgiven myself.
The other excuse in this matter (other than aging) is that I take a wee bit of medicine for obsessive compulsive disorder which is supposed to help a person not check locks and burners over and over. Well, it can also keep a person from checking once. I override this with extra care in anything that has to do with work or driving, making sure not to get Drano confused with a soft drink. But I didn't know I had to use extra care to remember to pack up my boat. Damn!
Well, now I'm alerted. Have stepped up the mindfulness meditation.
Here's a photo from a few weeks back of my little kayak. Do let me know if you see it.
I keep telling myself that a needy family with 18 children found it abandoned and patched it and is enjoying it so much that I wouldn't even want to reclaim it if I could see them.
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(This has nothing to do with being bold at all. Just following up on my boating adventures.)
I lost my boat. My sweet little inflatable kayak, in which I have traveled as much as 8 miles in an afternoon.
I lost it by walking off and leaving it, forgetting to put it back in the trunk of my car. It always takes me two trips to get the boat and gear from water's edge back into the car. On this occasion 2 weeks ago, I simply forgot to make the second trip. Instead I got into the car and drove off.
There's some excuse in the fact that I was a little addled, because the boat had sprung a leak. I discovered about 50 feet from shore that the right side was deflating fast. It was not a convenient day for swimming because, in spite of the 80+ degree weather I was wearing knee high rubber boots because I had a cut on my leg that wasn't supposed to get wet. But I got to shore with no problem because I was close and the wind and water were strongly heading that way.
I hadn't realized that if one of the compartments of the boat were to go flat, it would no longer be a boat, it would be a sort of raft. So perhaps I was unconsciously feeling "let down" and annoyed and thus walked off.
Sure didn't mean to leave it there.
Now I've posted signs at the boat ramp, called four government agencies, felt like a crestfallen fool. Somewhat forgiven myself.
The other excuse in this matter (other than aging) is that I take a wee bit of medicine for obsessive compulsive disorder which is supposed to help a person not check locks and burners over and over. Well, it can also keep a person from checking once. I override this with extra care in anything that has to do with work or driving, making sure not to get Drano confused with a soft drink. But I didn't know I had to use extra care to remember to pack up my boat. Damn!
Well, now I'm alerted. Have stepped up the mindfulness meditation.
Here's a photo from a few weeks back of my little kayak. Do let me know if you see it.
I keep telling myself that a needy family with 18 children found it abandoned and patched it and is enjoying it so much that I wouldn't even want to reclaim it if I could see them.
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Friday, September 26, 2008
Relaxation Strategy: Letting Go a Little
The single boldest thing I could do (that would be useful) would be to get rid of my "Don't Tread On Me" reflex.
It would increase the back and forth between my inner and outer worlds, which is awfully good for a writer or a person.
But I've always liked my DTOM reflex, which makes it all the harder to let it diminish a bit. (I almost said "get a grip on it.")
However, I think I've made my point with that stuff now, and would do well to ease off.
The advantages would be:
*greater ease of mind
*less tension of neck, shoulders, and jaw muscles
*energy to spare
*maybe fewer book drafts, maybe more forceful writing
*no unpleasant incidents at the dentist's, or need for expensive nitrous
*maybe fewer allergies
The disadvantages:
*possible weight gain due to loss of tension
*possible need to eat less chocolate because of weight gain
*no excuse for drug trips while having my teeth cleaned
*I might get invited to more committees and parties and have to say "no" more
*loss of a familiar way of being
Irrational reasons I haven't done this already:
*someone might infiltrate their wrong opinions into my head
*if I'm not sufficiently separate, I might blur with other people and they'd get all the credit for anything good I do--or just not notice me enough
*I might lose my originality
*someone might drag me into stuff I'm not interested in or cause me to run late or make some dreadful error
Well,you get the idea... In writing this, I'm starting to get it too.
But getting the idea is different from actually relaxing my inner sentry system that I'm not even conscious of.
My strategy for getting rid of the Don't Tread On Me reflex:
*trusting that mere intent will help some
*meditation every day
*vigorous exercise (15 mins of jump rope a day)
*not letting too much build up unsaid
*noting how unappealing wariness is in others
I'll think of other things later, I expect. But that's enough to keep me busy for now.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
It would increase the back and forth between my inner and outer worlds, which is awfully good for a writer or a person.
But I've always liked my DTOM reflex, which makes it all the harder to let it diminish a bit. (I almost said "get a grip on it.")
However, I think I've made my point with that stuff now, and would do well to ease off.
The advantages would be:
*greater ease of mind
*less tension of neck, shoulders, and jaw muscles
*energy to spare
*maybe fewer book drafts, maybe more forceful writing
*no unpleasant incidents at the dentist's, or need for expensive nitrous
*maybe fewer allergies
The disadvantages:
*possible weight gain due to loss of tension
*possible need to eat less chocolate because of weight gain
*no excuse for drug trips while having my teeth cleaned
*I might get invited to more committees and parties and have to say "no" more
*loss of a familiar way of being
Irrational reasons I haven't done this already:
*someone might infiltrate their wrong opinions into my head
*if I'm not sufficiently separate, I might blur with other people and they'd get all the credit for anything good I do--or just not notice me enough
*I might lose my originality
*someone might drag me into stuff I'm not interested in or cause me to run late or make some dreadful error
Well,you get the idea... In writing this, I'm starting to get it too.
But getting the idea is different from actually relaxing my inner sentry system that I'm not even conscious of.
My strategy for getting rid of the Don't Tread On Me reflex:
*trusting that mere intent will help some
*meditation every day
*vigorous exercise (15 mins of jump rope a day)
*not letting too much build up unsaid
*noting how unappealing wariness is in others
I'll think of other things later, I expect. But that's enough to keep me busy for now.
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Clay Gay and Talking
No one has the moral obligation to announce his or her sexual orientation to People Magazine.
However, I think it's a cool thing--i.e., admirably bold--that singer and local Raleigh boy Clay Aiken has just done that. His reasoning: he just had a baby (in vitro fertilization with a friend), and he wants to set a good example. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things," he says in the new issue of the magazine.
Coming out these days might seem like a low-impact decision--if you're not gay, famous, and a born-again Christian. Aiken is all of these, and may lose some Clay-mates, as his fans are sometimes called.
"'We congratulate Clay for making this decision and for setting an example for others and his family,' said Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. 'As we're seeing, more and more gay people, including celebrities, are living openly and honestly, and this has tremendous impact in terms of creating awareness, understanding and acceptance.'"
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
However, I think it's a cool thing--i.e., admirably bold--that singer and local Raleigh boy Clay Aiken has just done that. His reasoning: he just had a baby (in vitro fertilization with a friend), and he wants to set a good example. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things," he says in the new issue of the magazine.
Coming out these days might seem like a low-impact decision--if you're not gay, famous, and a born-again Christian. Aiken is all of these, and may lose some Clay-mates, as his fans are sometimes called.
"'We congratulate Clay for making this decision and for setting an example for others and his family,' said Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. 'As we're seeing, more and more gay people, including celebrities, are living openly and honestly, and this has tremendous impact in terms of creating awareness, understanding and acceptance.'"
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Nervous Campaigning: Part 2
So I set out with my clipboard yesterday to go door-to-door looking for Obama supporters who would like to volunteer. (Would you like to volunteer? If so, click here to get started.)
I was pretty uneasy about it. And it turned out to be both difficult and fine.
First, I had wrongly and embarrassingly assumed that I was assigned to a druggy street just because it was in a generally low income area of the city.
Wrong! I apologize! This was prejudice on my part! Prejudice I foolishly didn't think I had!
It was a quiet, pleasant, largely black neighborhood, with a pedestrian traffic of mothers and babies in strollers and college students from the nearby campus. There were no bars on any windows. And the only person on my list I could find was a fortyish man who was patient enough to answer my questions and tell me he supports Obama, though he was too busy to do any volunteering.
The difficult part of my job: most of my list turned out to be the college students. And the only address I had for them was the street number of an entire campus, the historically black Shaw University. No actual housing addresses. A girl on campus told me the best time to find students between classes and who to call on the staff for help. But it's a big school.
This would be an easy job if I'd been asked to find any twenty students, but I'm looking for a particular twenty.
I enjoyed my clipboard expedition. And I'm working on figuring out how to do this.
I do have one remaining hesitation: is a 59 year-old white woman the most inspiring person to rally these students to volunteer?
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
I was pretty uneasy about it. And it turned out to be both difficult and fine.
First, I had wrongly and embarrassingly assumed that I was assigned to a druggy street just because it was in a generally low income area of the city.
Wrong! I apologize! This was prejudice on my part! Prejudice I foolishly didn't think I had!
It was a quiet, pleasant, largely black neighborhood, with a pedestrian traffic of mothers and babies in strollers and college students from the nearby campus. There were no bars on any windows. And the only person on my list I could find was a fortyish man who was patient enough to answer my questions and tell me he supports Obama, though he was too busy to do any volunteering.
The difficult part of my job: most of my list turned out to be the college students. And the only address I had for them was the street number of an entire campus, the historically black Shaw University. No actual housing addresses. A girl on campus told me the best time to find students between classes and who to call on the staff for help. But it's a big school.
This would be an easy job if I'd been asked to find any twenty students, but I'm looking for a particular twenty.
I enjoyed my clipboard expedition. And I'm working on figuring out how to do this.
I do have one remaining hesitation: is a 59 year-old white woman the most inspiring person to rally these students to volunteer?
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Monday, September 22, 2008
My Nervous Effort to Campaign
You remember that list of doors to knock on I downloaded from the Obama website? I said I was all excited about getting out and doing this.
Well, I'm going out again for the second time in a few minutes and I'm not excited. My first foray was locked doors and no answer, except for a woman who answered a buzz over a speaker but didn't say anything I could understand. Not very fruitful. No big help to my cause.
My other addresses--19 of them--are all on one street and it's a bars-on-the-windows kind of street about six blocks from my office. If I had good sense, I'd get somebody to go with me, but that's a lot of trouble and I just want to get this list done, and go back to the comfort of campaigning by phone and blog.
The Bold thing would be to get set up to do this canvassing right, with a partner, going at the best time of day. Which is not how Bold is usually envisioned.
But at least I'm going to get it done.
Unless I change my mind.
I'll let you know tomorrow.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Well, I'm going out again for the second time in a few minutes and I'm not excited. My first foray was locked doors and no answer, except for a woman who answered a buzz over a speaker but didn't say anything I could understand. Not very fruitful. No big help to my cause.
My other addresses--19 of them--are all on one street and it's a bars-on-the-windows kind of street about six blocks from my office. If I had good sense, I'd get somebody to go with me, but that's a lot of trouble and I just want to get this list done, and go back to the comfort of campaigning by phone and blog.
The Bold thing would be to get set up to do this canvassing right, with a partner, going at the best time of day. Which is not how Bold is usually envisioned.
But at least I'm going to get it done.
Unless I change my mind.
I'll let you know tomorrow.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Hockey Mamas for Obama
Report from Alaska:
"...In Anchorage , if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it's a success. So, I thought to myself, if we can actually get 100 people there ... we'll be doing good....
Never have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn't honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn't happen here.
... Passing cars started honking in a rhythmic pattern of 3, like the Obama chant, while the crowd cheered....
So, if you've been doing the math… Yes. The Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was significantly bigger than Palin's rally that got all the national media coverage!"
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"...In Anchorage , if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it's a success. So, I thought to myself, if we can actually get 100 people there ... we'll be doing good....
Never have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn't honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn't happen here.
... Passing cars started honking in a rhythmic pattern of 3, like the Obama chant, while the crowd cheered....
So, if you've been doing the math… Yes. The Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was significantly bigger than Palin's rally that got all the national media coverage!"
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Courage of a Real ER Doctor
It takes a bold man to be an ER doc. Paul Austin works rotating shifts in a Durham, NC, hospital emergency room. His book, Something for the Pain, just out from W.W. Norton, tells not the TV version, but the real grit of what that work is like. And what it's like to have that job and a family too: wife, three kids, one with Downs.
I confess to a bias because Paul has gotten some feedback from me over the years through my consulting services for writers. I've loved this book from way back.
And this writer-doctor is astonishingly bold. If he's not telling the whole truth, I can't imagine what he's holding back.
I just met his wife last night for the first time at his debut reading at Raleigh's Quail Ridge Books. I said to her, "I feel like I know you...." She said, "A lot of people feel like they know me now."
To mention details of his story, from idealism to hard-boiled callusness and back, would almost be reductive. You need to read this, see it all in the context of sleep deprivation, with death ever near, and on long shifts in which every second makes a difference. And some of the patients are angry, some are hoping to get drugs, some are violent, some have devastated families, one had no one (even his mother wouldn't come pick him up.)
Someone from the audience asked Paul how he managed worry over making mistakes. He said he used to worry when he worked at a pizza place that he might burn the pizza. Since he was going to stay keyed-up and tense anyway, he might as well go for broke, do something where the worrying made more sense, and all that effort and angst could go toward a better cause.
Helen Keller said much the same thing: essentially, it's all risky, so get on out there and do the interesting stuff.
And read this book: Something for the Pain by Paul Austin.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
I confess to a bias because Paul has gotten some feedback from me over the years through my consulting services for writers. I've loved this book from way back.
And this writer-doctor is astonishingly bold. If he's not telling the whole truth, I can't imagine what he's holding back.
I just met his wife last night for the first time at his debut reading at Raleigh's Quail Ridge Books. I said to her, "I feel like I know you...." She said, "A lot of people feel like they know me now."
To mention details of his story, from idealism to hard-boiled callusness and back, would almost be reductive. You need to read this, see it all in the context of sleep deprivation, with death ever near, and on long shifts in which every second makes a difference. And some of the patients are angry, some are hoping to get drugs, some are violent, some have devastated families, one had no one (even his mother wouldn't come pick him up.)
Someone from the audience asked Paul how he managed worry over making mistakes. He said he used to worry when he worked at a pizza place that he might burn the pizza. Since he was going to stay keyed-up and tense anyway, he might as well go for broke, do something where the worrying made more sense, and all that effort and angst could go toward a better cause.
Helen Keller said much the same thing: essentially, it's all risky, so get on out there and do the interesting stuff.
And read this book: Something for the Pain by Paul Austin.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Palin-bin Laden Debate
Here's the promised argument I received by e-mail about why I shouldn't have posted an item two days ago which I titled "Osama bin Palin." (The idea was that both Palin and bin Laden want to force their world-view on others, though they use different means.)
"The problem with this pointed association of the ideology of Sarah Palin to Osama bin Laden is that - so far as we know - Sarah Palin has only threatened to squelch our liberties, but she hasn't actually committed genocide. There is probably no one who dislikes or despises George W. Bush more than I, but when I read the diatribes of well-meaning people of his favorable comparison to Hitler, I have to just accept that the thought the diatribe is intentional in its passion, it misses the opportunity for intellectual discourse with others that leads to problem-solving. It shuts a definitive soundbite door on the opportunity to use logic to evaluate the problem and determine a logical way to address it.
...It's the same sort of rhetoric Conservatives use to make their points - fill people with succinct opinions and do it all in just a few words ... the more dramatic, the better. I realize the title "Osama bin Palin" is yours and it is overtly funny. But the comments inherent in the title and the sentiments are sensational and unsubstantiated in a way that discredits the very smart and savvy nature of your blog (I respectfully submit)."
Now, I do favor good pithy soundbites. I want them to be true and memorable. They make a difference in campaigns.
However, I don't want to rant; it isn't effective.
Thoughts from you on what is decently bold in a campaign as important as this one?
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
"The problem with this pointed association of the ideology of Sarah Palin to Osama bin Laden is that - so far as we know - Sarah Palin has only threatened to squelch our liberties, but she hasn't actually committed genocide. There is probably no one who dislikes or despises George W. Bush more than I, but when I read the diatribes of well-meaning people of his favorable comparison to Hitler, I have to just accept that the thought the diatribe is intentional in its passion, it misses the opportunity for intellectual discourse with others that leads to problem-solving. It shuts a definitive soundbite door on the opportunity to use logic to evaluate the problem and determine a logical way to address it.
...It's the same sort of rhetoric Conservatives use to make their points - fill people with succinct opinions and do it all in just a few words ... the more dramatic, the better. I realize the title "Osama bin Palin" is yours and it is overtly funny. But the comments inherent in the title and the sentiments are sensational and unsubstantiated in a way that discredits the very smart and savvy nature of your blog (I respectfully submit)."
Now, I do favor good pithy soundbites. I want them to be true and memorable. They make a difference in campaigns.
However, I don't want to rant; it isn't effective.
Thoughts from you on what is decently bold in a campaign as important as this one?
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
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