Did you watch last night? I found Obama's acceptance speech so exciting that I was almost afraid to be excited. It made me proud of us, I know that for sure. We've come a long way since my childhood in Wilmington, NC.
And now we have a real leader in Barack Obama. He presented big bold ideas; he said flat-out what he means to do. He was specific. He didn't pander or equivocate.
He has both warmth and gravitas, natural persuasiveness and presidential bearing, the kind of courage that looks sunny and relaxed. Obama the Bold. I like the sound of that too.
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Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Hail Hillary!
She did the right thing when she asked the delegates to the Democratic convention: were you in it for me, or for the wounded soldier, the single mother of autistic kids...?
That question has to make a voter sit back and think. And then, I hope, vote for Obama.
Update just in case you haven't been on this planet this week: Hillary Clinton gracefully and generously asked her 18 million supporters to vote for Barack Obama for president. She did it like a champ!
I can only begin to understand what it must have taken to do that, when I think about giving my new novel away to be published as some other writer's, just to get the work out to the world. I don't think I'd do it.
My admiration and thanks to Senator Clinton who did.
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That question has to make a voter sit back and think. And then, I hope, vote for Obama.
Update just in case you haven't been on this planet this week: Hillary Clinton gracefully and generously asked her 18 million supporters to vote for Barack Obama for president. She did it like a champ!
I can only begin to understand what it must have taken to do that, when I think about giving my new novel away to be published as some other writer's, just to get the work out to the world. I don't think I'd do it.
My admiration and thanks to Senator Clinton who did.
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Encouragingly Bright Color
"Sitting with someone in the hospital gives one many day and night hours to think. About color. About colorful." This is from photographer, writer, accountant Mamie Potter's blog.
I admire the fact that sitting in a hospital room brings color to her mind. That's probably not everyone's response to such a situation.
In musing about this, she has posted some boldly colorful photos on her blog. On this post. And this one.
Do go gaze upon them; they are emboldening.
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I admire the fact that sitting in a hospital room brings color to her mind. That's probably not everyone's response to such a situation.
In musing about this, she has posted some boldly colorful photos on her blog. On this post. And this one.
Do go gaze upon them; they are emboldening.
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Hillary Kennedy Obama
TV has been setting us some good examples recently.
First came the Olympians, who have persevered for years in their sport and competed, for all to see, against the best in the world.
Last night came Michelle Obama, Senator Ted Kennedy, and Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Each of them, in their different ways, has come a long, long way.
Ted Kennedy hauled himself out of the hospital to to make a speech on behalf of both Obama and the good causes he has championed in his own 46 years in the Senate. I certainly don't see Kennedy's life as one of perfect virtue; as a 20 year-old intern, I wrote a fairly damning editorial about him in the Wilmington, NC paper on the morning after Mary Jo Kopechne's death. But he has gone on from that night, persistently doing good, for the public and for his vast family. That takes guts.
Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, who has endured more losses than anyone should have to face, introduced him, saying he has taught his nieces and nephews and their 60 children, "how to chart our course, take the helm and sail against the wind."
Then came Michelle Obama. She and her husband Barack have both traveled a long way from their beginnings, and she told their stories with such grace.
I want to see one more example of boldness and grace at this convention. I want the admirable Hillary Clinton to say to her 18 million supporters: Honor me now and in November by voting for Obama; for the good of my country, that's the gesture of support I want.
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First came the Olympians, who have persevered for years in their sport and competed, for all to see, against the best in the world.
Last night came Michelle Obama, Senator Ted Kennedy, and Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Each of them, in their different ways, has come a long, long way.
Ted Kennedy hauled himself out of the hospital to to make a speech on behalf of both Obama and the good causes he has championed in his own 46 years in the Senate. I certainly don't see Kennedy's life as one of perfect virtue; as a 20 year-old intern, I wrote a fairly damning editorial about him in the Wilmington, NC paper on the morning after Mary Jo Kopechne's death. But he has gone on from that night, persistently doing good, for the public and for his vast family. That takes guts.
Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, who has endured more losses than anyone should have to face, introduced him, saying he has taught his nieces and nephews and their 60 children, "how to chart our course, take the helm and sail against the wind."
Then came Michelle Obama. She and her husband Barack have both traveled a long way from their beginnings, and she told their stories with such grace.
I want to see one more example of boldness and grace at this convention. I want the admirable Hillary Clinton to say to her 18 million supporters: Honor me now and in November by voting for Obama; for the good of my country, that's the gesture of support I want.
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Sunday, August 24, 2008
Edgy Art: the Luminarium
Friday night Bob and I strolled through the mist-filled tubular corridors of something called a luminarium. It was, in short, a mighty balloon with a flap door, sitting on the ground in downtown Raleigh for a festival called Art on the Edge. The pictures in the paper had looked like people were wandering through Gulliver's internal organs.
The pictures didn't prepare me for entering that flowing glowing trembling labyrinth, full of shifting colors and soft music. It's titled Levity III and billed as being a bit like a cathedral, a bit like a mosque. In any event, it's other-worldly.
At the same time, it feels like something alive. Visitors leave their shoes at the entrance, explore the dim interior with bare feet. The floor and walls feel like cool flesh, they have a kind of "give" that invites further contact. We were among the many to lie down for a while. (That's Bob in the cell phone picture I shot.)
I emerged feeling mentally and physically refreshed, delighted by an experience entirely new to me. Downtown seemed more vivid than when I'd entered the balloon. And nobody was pumping any mind-altering smoke in there. This was just a piece of art, doing its job.
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Friday, August 22, 2008
Derrida on the Fear of Writing
I'm sure you've heard of Jacques Derrida, inventor of the theory known as deconstruction. Highly controversial guy--a skewed translation of his thinking wrecked a few good English departments for a while there.
His idea--simplistically, that we have no one piece of solid ground to stand on to observe an objective reality (I think I have that right)--was somehow turned into a basis for treating literature as primarily a demonstration of political and cultural assumptions.
Aside from that wild misapplication, this theory is so sound an addition to what we know that it seems like a no-brainer: as if, surely, we always knew that. The name Derrida and the idea itself seem to have been in the atmosphere forever, like the Metropolitan Opera or St. Patrick's Day.
And so I was very surprised to run into Derrida on Youtube, of all places, talking about the fear of writing. The short version is: he is full of fire and conviction while he's writing and full of fear of what he's doing in the moments when he starts to go to sleep. Doesn't seem to have gotten in his way; he's published 45 books.
But it's an interesting version of the experience that most of us deal with in one way or another, well worth listening to. I'm always interested in the kind of conversation between the conscious and the unconscious that he describes. Also,he speaks French (with subtitles) slowly enough to be understood (especially with the subtitles) by a struggling American French-speaker.
Furthermore, I'd sort of assumed the guy was dead. Not a bit. In fact, he seems rather a hottie. So the video undermined at least one of my false assumptions. Who knew the iconic Derrida was cute?
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His idea--simplistically, that we have no one piece of solid ground to stand on to observe an objective reality (I think I have that right)--was somehow turned into a basis for treating literature as primarily a demonstration of political and cultural assumptions.
Aside from that wild misapplication, this theory is so sound an addition to what we know that it seems like a no-brainer: as if, surely, we always knew that. The name Derrida and the idea itself seem to have been in the atmosphere forever, like the Metropolitan Opera or St. Patrick's Day.
And so I was very surprised to run into Derrida on Youtube, of all places, talking about the fear of writing. The short version is: he is full of fire and conviction while he's writing and full of fear of what he's doing in the moments when he starts to go to sleep. Doesn't seem to have gotten in his way; he's published 45 books.
But it's an interesting version of the experience that most of us deal with in one way or another, well worth listening to. I'm always interested in the kind of conversation between the conscious and the unconscious that he describes. Also,he speaks French (with subtitles) slowly enough to be understood (especially with the subtitles) by a struggling American French-speaker.
Furthermore, I'd sort of assumed the guy was dead. Not a bit. In fact, he seems rather a hottie. So the video undermined at least one of my false assumptions. Who knew the iconic Derrida was cute?
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Lift Depression (Literally)
"The next time you are feeling a little depressed, try looking up. That's right, look up. Reach your arms overhead and let your eyes follow. You may be surprised to find that it is impossible to stay depressed while looking up into the air. You see, looking upward engages our visual sensory files, that part of our mind that sees pictures. Depression is usually a result of something we are hearing us tell ourselves." from blogger Ajay Kumar K.S. at Life Is a Quest to Find Something (Someone)
I love the simplicity of this technique. I don't know that it's the answer to major clinical episodes. But I will try it the next time I'm feeling low, should that ever happen again. Because it's been my experience that a depressed person is never as bold as she could be.
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I love the simplicity of this technique. I don't know that it's the answer to major clinical episodes. But I will try it the next time I'm feeling low, should that ever happen again. Because it's been my experience that a depressed person is never as bold as she could be.
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Thursday, August 21, 2008
Quailmail Courage
I'm trying something new in getting feedback on a manuscript. I'm putting out a call on the Quailmail e-newsletter of Raleigh's Quail Ridge Books asking for a few readers-who don't know me in any way and aren't writers or editors--to read my novel in progress and tell me unsparingly what they think.
Should be interesting. Wish me luck and honest readers.
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Should be interesting. Wish me luck and honest readers.
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Erotica Writer and Brazen Careerist
Two bold individuals:
Penelope Trunk of The Brazen Careerist:
Her target audience is predominantly youngish people starting their careers in organizations, but an aged freelancer can also make good use of her wisdom. Her advice is goal-oriented, irreverent, free-thinking, and way cheeky. Even her more outrageous ideas I find useful in making me question my thinking. Basically she overturns a lot of assumptions. In today's blog she begins: "The idea that we somehow have a certain amount of potential that we must live up to is a complete crock." What a liberating idea!
Susie Bright, eroticist: Among other credits, she's editor of Simon & Schuster's bestselling Best American Erotica series. With a pile of books on the subject and columns in various major magazines, she has almost made sex mainstream. She's also quite forthcoming about her own life and an activist politically. Rolling Stone says that she "could not be accused of shutting up." Today's subject: "Sex Addiction: The Big Con".
I find that having a look at what someone else is doing makes it easier for me to venture out more in my own way for my own causes. Once when I was writing a scary part of my current novel, I'd stop every few minutes and read an extremely revealing memoir by a friend of mine and think: well, if she can do this, I can certainly write one more paragraph of gritty fiction.
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Penelope Trunk of The Brazen Careerist:
Her target audience is predominantly youngish people starting their careers in organizations, but an aged freelancer can also make good use of her wisdom. Her advice is goal-oriented, irreverent, free-thinking, and way cheeky. Even her more outrageous ideas I find useful in making me question my thinking. Basically she overturns a lot of assumptions. In today's blog she begins: "The idea that we somehow have a certain amount of potential that we must live up to is a complete crock." What a liberating idea!
Susie Bright, eroticist: Among other credits, she's editor of Simon & Schuster's bestselling Best American Erotica series. With a pile of books on the subject and columns in various major magazines, she has almost made sex mainstream. She's also quite forthcoming about her own life and an activist politically. Rolling Stone says that she "could not be accused of shutting up." Today's subject: "Sex Addiction: The Big Con".
I find that having a look at what someone else is doing makes it easier for me to venture out more in my own way for my own causes. Once when I was writing a scary part of my current novel, I'd stop every few minutes and read an extremely revealing memoir by a friend of mine and think: well, if she can do this, I can certainly write one more paragraph of gritty fiction.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Scandals and Confessions
Years ago, when I was a reporter covering the NC legislature, I was standing talking with someone outside an office door, when the representative came out and jokingly handed me his tear-off calendar page for the day. The wisdom thereon was: Sin Boldly, which is attributed to religious revolutionary Martin Luther.
Perhaps because of the context and the fellow who was handing it to me (good-looking and known as squeaky-clean), I've always remembered it.
Having recently watched the John Edwards political disaster right here on my home turf, I've decided I want to expand the original adage.
Here's my version: If, after careful thought of potential wreckage, you're going to break a deal or violate your own values, do it boldly and honestly, with graceful acceptance of the consequences. Or tell reporters: It's private. Buzz off! Or at least don't tell indignant lies into the lens of a TV camera.
Most of us tend to have a jovial interest in an out-and-out rogue, and sympathy for a good guy who stumbles and comes clean. One way or the other, we tend to admire the boldness of full honesty (which is different from Too Much highly personal Information.)
But it's a rare individual who admires furtiveness. And it's such a human impulse to ward off blame. I remember saying once to my brother Franc: No, no, you have those papers, not me. It came out of my mouth like a reflex, a hasty self-defense; at best, I think I was hoping he had those papers. Turned out they'd been with me all along.
So I can't throw stones at the sneaky; it comes so naturally to us all.
But I do admire those who can say from the first: Yeah, I did that. That was me.
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Perhaps because of the context and the fellow who was handing it to me (good-looking and known as squeaky-clean), I've always remembered it.
Having recently watched the John Edwards political disaster right here on my home turf, I've decided I want to expand the original adage.
Here's my version: If, after careful thought of potential wreckage, you're going to break a deal or violate your own values, do it boldly and honestly, with graceful acceptance of the consequences. Or tell reporters: It's private. Buzz off! Or at least don't tell indignant lies into the lens of a TV camera.
Most of us tend to have a jovial interest in an out-and-out rogue, and sympathy for a good guy who stumbles and comes clean. One way or the other, we tend to admire the boldness of full honesty (which is different from Too Much highly personal Information.)
But it's a rare individual who admires furtiveness. And it's such a human impulse to ward off blame. I remember saying once to my brother Franc: No, no, you have those papers, not me. It came out of my mouth like a reflex, a hasty self-defense; at best, I think I was hoping he had those papers. Turned out they'd been with me all along.
So I can't throw stones at the sneaky; it comes so naturally to us all.
But I do admire those who can say from the first: Yeah, I did that. That was me.
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Monday, August 18, 2008
Life Lessons from Olympic Sports
Syndicated columnist Rick Horowitz has written a funny and spot-on creed based on what we learn from days of Olympic TV watching.
"From this day forward, I stick my landings. ... From now on, where I land is where I stand....I will maintain my positions for at least two seconds."
And of course this solemn declaration ends with cutting to a commercial. Check it out, if you haven't already read it. It's both inspiring and funny.
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"From this day forward, I stick my landings. ... From now on, where I land is where I stand....I will maintain my positions for at least two seconds."
And of course this solemn declaration ends with cutting to a commercial. Check it out, if you haven't already read it. It's both inspiring and funny.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008
How To Make an Entrance
In case you missed it last Friday night, have a look at this 8 minute video of the 2,008 drummers at the Olympic opening ceremony in Beijing.
I want this group to announce the publication of my next book.
China has announced itself boldly. Though I've always been a fan of understatement, yet this is thrilling. I'm also a fan of individual voices, and yet the impact of this many drums beating together is like no other.
Perhaps it's good to be flexible, to be able to be loud wen needed, and part of a group when that's the best way to get your message across.
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I want this group to announce the publication of my next book.
China has announced itself boldly. Though I've always been a fan of understatement, yet this is thrilling. I'm also a fan of individual voices, and yet the impact of this many drums beating together is like no other.
Perhaps it's good to be flexible, to be able to be loud wen needed, and part of a group when that's the best way to get your message across.
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Small Town Grace?
Walking up to a stranger at a gathering and starting a conversation takes a little psychic effort for a lot of us.
Yesterday, I saw that done repeatedly as if it were as effortless as checking email.
I was at a funeral at a Baptist Church in the little town of Buies Creek in eastern North Carolina. As I paused in the narthex after the service, and later at the lunch in an assembly room, people one after another came up to me and introduced themselves, explained how they knew the family, how they were related, and so on.
They did it so gracefully that I began to develop a theory: that they were all members of the congregation and this was their Sunday morning practice with visitors. That's true in churches I've attended, but I've never been the one to go over and speak to the stranger. Here the greeting habit seemed culture-wide.
It was very nice. I felt welcomed and engaged; the greetings turned easily into interesting brief conversations. These encounters did not seem dutiful. Each chat seemed motivated by genuine interest and good nature. (This doesn't happen to me everywhere I go, and I did not spark it by wearing a funny hat.)
It made me feel like leaving some walls down and seeing what happens.
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Yesterday, I saw that done repeatedly as if it were as effortless as checking email.
I was at a funeral at a Baptist Church in the little town of Buies Creek in eastern North Carolina. As I paused in the narthex after the service, and later at the lunch in an assembly room, people one after another came up to me and introduced themselves, explained how they knew the family, how they were related, and so on.
They did it so gracefully that I began to develop a theory: that they were all members of the congregation and this was their Sunday morning practice with visitors. That's true in churches I've attended, but I've never been the one to go over and speak to the stranger. Here the greeting habit seemed culture-wide.
It was very nice. I felt welcomed and engaged; the greetings turned easily into interesting brief conversations. These encounters did not seem dutiful. Each chat seemed motivated by genuine interest and good nature. (This doesn't happen to me everywhere I go, and I did not spark it by wearing a funny hat.)
It made me feel like leaving some walls down and seeing what happens.
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Happiness Project
Wednesday, which is today, is "Tip Day" at the site called The Happiness Project. If you look to the lower left side of that site you'll find the index of previous Wednesday tip lists for what I think of as: how to live.
Examples:
July 2: 5 tips for giving good praise.
July 16: 9 useful yet REALISTIC personal productivity tips. (..."don’t postpone any task that can be done in less than one minute.")
June 25: Tips for talking to someone about an impending divorce: dos and don'ts.
As I see it, "how to live" is really what we talk about on this site as well. Boldness and Happiness are both about living right, or effectively, or satisfyingly.
Is it safe to say that we have to be bold to be happy? Hellen Keller thought so, saying that life was either a great adventure or it was nothing. What do you think?
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Examples:
July 2: 5 tips for giving good praise.
July 16: 9 useful yet REALISTIC personal productivity tips. (..."don’t postpone any task that can be done in less than one minute.")
June 25: Tips for talking to someone about an impending divorce: dos and don'ts.
As I see it, "how to live" is really what we talk about on this site as well. Boldness and Happiness are both about living right, or effectively, or satisfyingly.
Is it safe to say that we have to be bold to be happy? Hellen Keller thought so, saying that life was either a great adventure or it was nothing. What do you think?
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Boldness and True Colors
I know an attorney, a black man who has a white girlfriend and an office in a yellow house with a red motorcycle parked on the porch. Once he came to my office door eating a lollipop of I-forget-what brilliant color.
Something tells me this is a bold man, with a life in "living color."
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Something tells me this is a bold man, with a life in "living color."
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Monday, August 11, 2008
Anxiety is So Damn Tiring
In an average month, roughly 4 million people Google the word "anxiety." Last month, that number was up to about 5 million. That's a lot of us. And some of us who tend to be tense have never even done a search on the word.
I bring this up because I'm prone to freefloating anxiety myself, which expresses itself, for example, in the fear I made some ghastly error which I'll soon find out about or left a door unlocked or a burner on. Weird intangible stuff like that.
When I have real things to worry about or to be upset about, my perverse reflexive strategy is to feel anxious about something unrelated.
For example, I'm currently feeling the effects of a distant relative dying Saturday (a blow for a bunch of people who are close to me), another family member having tests for worrisome symptoms (a long drawn-out process), and yet another one who is sick and refusing treatment that could solve the problem.
My response: to worry about my work, to fear (quite irrationally) that I won't get projects finished fast enough, to be a bit twitchy, and feel my immune system going on vacation. This is all just as crazy as driving back to the office at night to be sure I locked the door. To deal with this, I'm advised to:
1. meditate
2. exercise
3. be sad
4. and then just go about my business.
But these are the times that it's difficult to get myself to meditate and get exercise, to stick to the usual disciplines.
Instead, I would like to simply stop being anxious, without having to do all that. Conversely, I could simply decide that anxious is how I am just now and ignore it.
The main thing is: it's tiring. It takes energy I could use in better ways.
And based on Google figures, I'm not the only person like this. So what shall we do about this? Meditate and exercise? Surely there's an easier way.
Let's invent one. (Note: when it gets pathological, drugs help a lot, but aren't the whole answer.) (Additional note: overeating while feeling nothing is not a good strategy at all.)
Imagine how the world might improve if four million people a month were doing something more interesting than Googling "anxiety."
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I bring this up because I'm prone to freefloating anxiety myself, which expresses itself, for example, in the fear I made some ghastly error which I'll soon find out about or left a door unlocked or a burner on. Weird intangible stuff like that.
When I have real things to worry about or to be upset about, my perverse reflexive strategy is to feel anxious about something unrelated.
For example, I'm currently feeling the effects of a distant relative dying Saturday (a blow for a bunch of people who are close to me), another family member having tests for worrisome symptoms (a long drawn-out process), and yet another one who is sick and refusing treatment that could solve the problem.
My response: to worry about my work, to fear (quite irrationally) that I won't get projects finished fast enough, to be a bit twitchy, and feel my immune system going on vacation. This is all just as crazy as driving back to the office at night to be sure I locked the door. To deal with this, I'm advised to:
1. meditate
2. exercise
3. be sad
4. and then just go about my business.
But these are the times that it's difficult to get myself to meditate and get exercise, to stick to the usual disciplines.
Instead, I would like to simply stop being anxious, without having to do all that. Conversely, I could simply decide that anxious is how I am just now and ignore it.
The main thing is: it's tiring. It takes energy I could use in better ways.
And based on Google figures, I'm not the only person like this. So what shall we do about this? Meditate and exercise? Surely there's an easier way.
Let's invent one. (Note: when it gets pathological, drugs help a lot, but aren't the whole answer.) (Additional note: overeating while feeling nothing is not a good strategy at all.)
Imagine how the world might improve if four million people a month were doing something more interesting than Googling "anxiety."
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Friday, August 08, 2008
Why Create This Blog?
I've asked myself this question a number of times: why blog? For a writer, it does provide exposure and interaction with readers. It's promotional.
That's the supposed explanation.
But the fact is, I don't think that a huge percentage of people who visit here immediately rush to find one of my books. (Could be wrong, I hope so.)
I think I do this because I feel like it. It's a pulpit, a place to vent a bit, an easy outlet: no editors, no delays. I like the feeling of it.
So I tell myself, as I spend a significant amount of my work time doing this, that
1. I'm writing, and that's always a good thing
2. I may well publish some of this sometime in a collection that people will pay for, which is important since writing and consulting to writers are my "day job"
3. this fast and casual writing gives me ideas (is that true? does it really? not sure)
4. it primes the pump for work on my book (that's true for sure)
5. it does create at least some interest in my other work
But back to the main truth: I like doing it. It reminds me of what's fun about writing, which can get lost in revising for publication and all the attendant struggles. Writing itself is what inspires me to keep writing.
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That's the supposed explanation.
But the fact is, I don't think that a huge percentage of people who visit here immediately rush to find one of my books. (Could be wrong, I hope so.)
I think I do this because I feel like it. It's a pulpit, a place to vent a bit, an easy outlet: no editors, no delays. I like the feeling of it.
So I tell myself, as I spend a significant amount of my work time doing this, that
1. I'm writing, and that's always a good thing
2. I may well publish some of this sometime in a collection that people will pay for, which is important since writing and consulting to writers are my "day job"
3. this fast and casual writing gives me ideas (is that true? does it really? not sure)
4. it primes the pump for work on my book (that's true for sure)
5. it does create at least some interest in my other work
But back to the main truth: I like doing it. It reminds me of what's fun about writing, which can get lost in revising for publication and all the attendant struggles. Writing itself is what inspires me to keep writing.
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Courage as a Way of Life
I hesitate to mention this, since it could easily be viewed in a "sideshow" way. However, on this occasion my better instincts are at work, and I'd like to ask you to look at this situation in an empathetic way.
Last night, as I was doing my crunches and channel surfing, I came across on The Learning Channel a documentary on a pair of conjoined twins, formerly called Siamese twins. These girls, Abby and Brittany Hensel are 15; they are two distinct personalities, two people. Each girl has a head and a face and a mind, and otherwise the two of them share one body, each with feeling on her respective side of that body.
At first glance, it didn't seem possible. After watching them being interviewed for a few minutes, my startlement wore off and they seemed to present simply another of the endless million variations on ways to be human, on how to be confident, outgoing sixteen year old girls.
One of the experts interviewed said that the singlets in the world have a couple of important things to learn from those who are conjoined. One is openness to a wider range of human differences, and the other is cooperation. Brittany and Abby have to somehow come to an agreement moment by moment about their every action, and they have to coordinate movements, each of them in charge of one arm. Even so, they manage to drive a car, type email, etc. I can barely imagine the complication and difficulty of that.
Neither they nor their parents treat them as limited. Their friends seem to see them as two regular girls. Anyone who ever felt odd in high school would have to be profoundly impressed by what these girls take on every day and treat as normal life. I'd add a third item to what I can learn, and that is courage as a way of life.
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Last night, as I was doing my crunches and channel surfing, I came across on The Learning Channel a documentary on a pair of conjoined twins, formerly called Siamese twins. These girls, Abby and Brittany Hensel are 15; they are two distinct personalities, two people. Each girl has a head and a face and a mind, and otherwise the two of them share one body, each with feeling on her respective side of that body.
At first glance, it didn't seem possible. After watching them being interviewed for a few minutes, my startlement wore off and they seemed to present simply another of the endless million variations on ways to be human, on how to be confident, outgoing sixteen year old girls.
One of the experts interviewed said that the singlets in the world have a couple of important things to learn from those who are conjoined. One is openness to a wider range of human differences, and the other is cooperation. Brittany and Abby have to somehow come to an agreement moment by moment about their every action, and they have to coordinate movements, each of them in charge of one arm. Even so, they manage to drive a car, type email, etc. I can barely imagine the complication and difficulty of that.
Neither they nor their parents treat them as limited. Their friends seem to see them as two regular girls. Anyone who ever felt odd in high school would have to be profoundly impressed by what these girls take on every day and treat as normal life. I'd add a third item to what I can learn, and that is courage as a way of life.
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Take Charge of Your Situation
"I once ran into a wise old friend, and he asked how I was doing.
'Fine, under the circumstances,' I replied.
He raised his eyebrows and laughed:
'What, pray tell, are you doing under there?'
What circumstances are you under? List three moves you can make to rise above those conditions?"
From Zing: Five Steps and 101 Tips for Creativity on Command by Sam Harrison
(Added thought from Peggy: when you write down what circumstances you're under, keep it short, a sentence or two. The idea is to go beyond the situation, not sink deeper into the mire of it.)
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'Fine, under the circumstances,' I replied.
He raised his eyebrows and laughed:
'What, pray tell, are you doing under there?'
What circumstances are you under? List three moves you can make to rise above those conditions?"
From Zing: Five Steps and 101 Tips for Creativity on Command by Sam Harrison
(Added thought from Peggy: when you write down what circumstances you're under, keep it short, a sentence or two. The idea is to go beyond the situation, not sink deeper into the mire of it.)
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Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Throw Off Minor Depression
I was in a truly shitty mood this morning: bitter, sad, angry, depressed simultaneously. (In short, visit with adult stepson did not go well.) The mood threatened to last for the rest of my life.
It lifted when I did one useful small thing that made me feel effective. All I did was drive to a Verizon store and say that two phone accessories weren't working right. One they replaced for free; the other for $16 (it hadn't come from Verizon.)
I left with working equipment and rising spirits. Not simply because I had a headset and a recharger that worked. Instead, because I'd demonstrated to myself that I could be effective, even at running a small errand that had no connection with the original problem.
That kind of remedy is always available. Maybe I'll remember it quicker, should I ever fall into such a state again.
Oh, it's good to have a blog to be able to share such wisdom!
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
It lifted when I did one useful small thing that made me feel effective. All I did was drive to a Verizon store and say that two phone accessories weren't working right. One they replaced for free; the other for $16 (it hadn't come from Verizon.)
I left with working equipment and rising spirits. Not simply because I had a headset and a recharger that worked. Instead, because I'd demonstrated to myself that I could be effective, even at running a small errand that had no connection with the original problem.
That kind of remedy is always available. Maybe I'll remember it quicker, should I ever fall into such a state again.
Oh, it's good to have a blog to be able to share such wisdom!
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Monday, August 04, 2008
Brilliant Brillante Blogs
This blog has received the Brillante Award. I'm taking that to mean brilliant, and am delighted to be selected.
I'm to pass the honor on to seven other bloggers whom I find sparkling. The following are quite different from each other and all hold my attention:
The Growing Life, "Alternative productivity,anti-hacks for living"
Diva Marketing "An approach to marketing that's fun, bold, and savvy..."
Four Angels Momma: "Learning to soar with our feet on the ground."
Daily Spiritual Guide "Insights for a healthy and positive life."
The Sartorialist "Selected as on of Time magazine's top 100 design influencers."
Metaxu Cafe "A network of book and cultural blogs..."
60 going on 16 Reading and writing in the English countryside
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Saturday, August 02, 2008
Go To the Trouble to Have an Adventure
A few years back I realized that I'm sometimes too lazy to do the little things that would make me more comfortable. Like get out of bed and get a quilt. Or turn on another light, or get a tool I need. Because it's just easier not to stir myself.
At that point I started telling myself: go to the trouble to get comfortable. It's really worth the effort involved.
This week I was driving home from work a little early, it was still light. Passing Jordan Lake, I realized that if I pulled over, I could inflate my kayak, which was in my trunk, and take it for a sunset spin. So what that my work clothes would get wet; they were washable.
So I took the trouble, paddled out on the glassy lake for about a half hour, and came in feeling as if I'd had a week's vacation. It had taken fifteen minutes of effort to get the boat out and pumped up. Well worth the "trouble," even for such a wee adventure. I mean to remind myself of that when I'm feeling like not bothering.
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At that point I started telling myself: go to the trouble to get comfortable. It's really worth the effort involved.
This week I was driving home from work a little early, it was still light. Passing Jordan Lake, I realized that if I pulled over, I could inflate my kayak, which was in my trunk, and take it for a sunset spin. So what that my work clothes would get wet; they were washable.
So I took the trouble, paddled out on the glassy lake for about a half hour, and came in feeling as if I'd had a week's vacation. It had taken fifteen minutes of effort to get the boat out and pumped up. Well worth the "trouble," even for such a wee adventure. I mean to remind myself of that when I'm feeling like not bothering.
If you like this post, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, share it on StumbleUpon, vote for it on Digg. Thanks so much.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Gandhi in the 'Hood
After almost four years in my downtown Raleigh office, I have discovered that a larger-than-life-size statue of my hero Gandhi stands in a courtyard three blocks from my desk.
Here he is, located behind The Marbles Kids Museum, the model of a man who put his boldness to good use.
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